When everything went wrong. (Long) — The Bump
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When everything went wrong. (Long)

I was working hard to have an at home birth, all natural, with a local midwife. And then it all went wrong. But I got my prize none the less.

September 24th I went in for a schedule appointment to get my gBs test (which they had to do in the hospital) when they saw my BP was high. 155/100. Now I have a bit of white coat syndrome, so they said they would take it again after my appointment and I could calm down. It was still high so they sent me to labour and delivery to do an hour long stress test. Well by the end I was fine and back in the normal range. They had me do the 24 hour urine analysis and come back the next day.

September 25th, well my UP was high and my BP was back up. So they pretty much forcibly admitted me saying I had Pre-Eclampsia. Me freaking out because I was suppose to be home, on my bed, with my cats and husband. After 24 hours (September 26th) they sent me home, surprisingly.

At this point my mom had flown in. I worked hard to get myself into labour with natural methods. After 36 hours at home I went back like they asked.

September 27th, now dilated to 2cm, my BP was high again and they yet again admitted me. So at this point there was no home birth. I was a wreck and upset crying for hours because all I wanted was to be home. (Like I mentioned, I had bad white coat syndrome.)

September 28th, After consulting with mulitple doctors, my aunt (who's a midwife), and the local midwife who I had was suppose to birth with, started with a foli-bulb catheter and when that got me dilated, they started the pitocin.

September 29th, little did I know that one doctor in particular had started harassing my mom and husband saying I needed a C Section as I was endanger and so was my baby. And when my husband consulted other doctors who said I was fine, she threatened to have a General come down to talk to him (my husband is Army). Which mind you, is illegal. My BP had started getting out of control with the stress and pain from the pitocin induced contractions so they used an epidural to help with my BP and pain. Then I crashed. Freezing cold shakes and exhausted, they gave me a sleeping medication to help me get some rest. Well I got mad because I was hooked up to so many things I just wanted to get out of bed to pee that I nearly slapped the nurse who came in and told me I couldn't leave the bed to pee anymore. I was loopy on drugs remember.

September 30th, they kept upping my doses of Pitocin and finally broke my water as I reached 8cm. I had wanted to wait till October 1st to have him (his original due date was the 13th of October). They added Magnesium Sulfate to my mass of medications to make sure I didn't have a seizure from the HBP.  Finally at 9:30 I started pushing, hoping I could wait till midnight (partially because my best friend and dad were on their way from the airport!). At 10:13 I delivered a beautiful baby boy that we named Remington. 7lbs 4.6oz. 20.5". He was/is perfectly healthy!

The next day, in recovery, the woman who had threatened my husband came in to check on me. When she saw that I had beat the odds of a C Section she made a snarky comment. Well I kicked her out of my room and told my nurse that I didn't want to see her again.

It was the worst 6 days of my life. But as soon as I saw him, it made it all worth while.  And though I wouldn't want to, I would go through it all again if it meant I could have him. He's the love of my life. 

Sorry for the long post. (: 

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Re: When everything went wrong. (Long)

  • I'm sorry, but you are either really young, really selfish, or really inexperienced -- or maybe a combination of all three. We all want 'the prize' (?) and we have an idea of how we'd like birth to be. Home birth is a wonderful idea if the conditions are right. Your conditions were far from right and obviously medical support saved your ass. Peeing in a bed pan was minor compared to what could have been given high BP -- and that is not meant to be a scare tactic, but a fact.

    That said, congratulations on your son, I'm glad he (and you) are ok.

  • Sorry things didn't work out the way you planned but sounds like at the end, everything went well.
    imageNicole Hanna 11-23-2010
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  • imagevccake:

    I'm sorry, but you are either really young, really selfish, or really inexperienced -- or maybe a combination of all three. We all want 'the prize' (?) and we have an idea of how we'd like birth to be. Home birth is a wonderful idea if the conditions are right. Your conditions were far from right and obviously medical support saved your ass. Peeing in a bed pan was minor compared to what could have been given high BP -- and that is not meant to be a scare tactic, but a fact.

    That said, congratulations on your son, I'm glad he (and you) are ok.

     

    This. All the way. Sure, it's not what you imagined or wanted but wanting to be home despite the complications and risks is selfish and ridiculous. I'm glad your baby came out healthy and i'm sorry things didn't go as you wanted but that's life. 

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  • Congrats on your beautiful baby! I'm sorry you didnt have the birth you wanted, not everyone wants/expects to end up in hospital and it does suck when it is the opposite of what you want. Love the name!

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  • I'm thankful that both you and your son are ok.

    But I have to agree with the pp's. I would err on the side that you're young and this is your first delivery based on the mindset you had. Yes, we all had a 'vision' of what our births would be like but life happens, it throws you curveballs and plans are often changed.

    For someone that's had 2 c-section and about to have a third, I wanted vaginal deliveries but due to cervical cancer and failure to progress, I too was 'hooked up to so many things' to monitor myself and my baby. It's not done as a scare tactic, to demean you or strip you of your 'birth plan'....it's done for one simple reason...To get your baby there safely.

    I hope for your sake that the next time you and your DH intend on having another child you're more kind to those professionals that are taking care of you.

  • imagelilbit923:

    I'm thankful that both you and your son are ok.

    But I have to agree with the pp's. I would err on the side that you're young and this is your first delivery based on the mindset you had. Yes, we all had a 'vision' of what our births would be like but life happens, it throws you curveballs and plans are often changed.

    For someone that's had 2 c-section and about to have a third, I wanted vaginal deliveries but due to cervical cancer and failure to progress, I too was 'hooked up to so many things' to monitor myself and my baby. It's not done as a scare tactic, to demean you or strip you of your 'birth plan'....it's done for one simple reason...To get your baby there safely.

    I hope for your sake that the next time you and your DH intend on having another child you're more kind to those professionals that are taking care of you.

    While I agree with the pp's about having to be thankful and deal with the fact that in reality not all things go as planned, I can offer you some empathy...

    I ended up with an emergency c-section and I am so very thankful for the medical professionals who took care of me and baby through it all.

    Yes, I cried when they said that I had to have a c-section because I desperately wanted to have a natural birth and things had been going so well up until the point where they realized that baby couldn't pass through my pelvis (due to previous pelvic injury). But while I was crying, I was begging them to just get me prepped and into the OR and get my baby in my arms. That's what I wanted most of all at that point. I just wanted him to be okay.

    Yes, I can understand that it takes a while to work through the disappointment and frustration that can come along with things going wrong with your birth... I'm still dealing with these emotions (mostly because I know I can't even try for a VBAC down the road..... and because what should have been a beautiful moment in our lives was once again ruined by the idiot woman who drove into me and broke my pelvis).  

    In the end, your LO is happy to be there with you in your arms and he doesn't care how he got there. Take care of yourself and focus on the positive things as much as you can. You have a right to be disappointed (giving birth is an experience for moms AND their babies... not just the babies), but don't let yourself feel guilty about anything. Your ability to birth is no reflection on you as a mother. You got him here safe and sound with the help of a great medical team.  


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  • I'm surprised at all the hate directed at this birth story! I didn't read it at all like she was disrespecting the entire medical staff, or ungrateful at the eventual birth of her healthy baby boy. She admits herself that she has a fear of hospitals/doctors, which is why she was trying for a home birth in the first place.

    It sounds to me like a pretty terrible 6 days of slowly induced labor, an almost-premature birth (~2 weeks early) that can stress anyone out, and a scary doctor trying to rush her into an unnecessary c-section (a decision that was not supported by a second opinion). I would probably have cried as well. And the one time she got cranky with the nurse, she admits she was loopy on drugs.

    Also, I assume your siggy picture means that your husband is currently deployed right now, leaving you on your own with the baby? Anyway, I'm glad the baby ended up being healthy, and that you survived despite your (irrational) white coat fear. :) Good luck with everything!

    Love one another, but make not a bond of love: Let it rather be a moving sea between the shores of your souls. - Kahlil Gibran

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  • Which doc was pushing you for the c-section? I'm delivering at the same hospital.
  • While I am a huge advocate for home birth, it is only safe when both mom and baby are healthy and low risk. You were most definitely NOT low risk with elevated protein levels in your urine, and a BP of 155/100. The fact that you still tried to deliver at home is really irresponsible, selfish, immature, and just plain stupid.

    I hope you grow the eff up before you have another kid. People like you are what make it difficult for the rest of us to have the homebirths we deserve. When people hear the story of the nutjob that delivered at home with that blood pressure and both Mom and baby nearly die (or worse, do die), that's what makes them say "See? Homebirth is for crazy asss hippies who don't care if their baby lives or dies".

    You should be ashamed. It's not about you, and what you want, and your irrational, childish "white coat syndrome". It's about giving that innocent baby a chance at life, and to grow up with a mother there to raise him, instead of one that's dead from complications of pre-eclampsia.

  • imageMrs.Jocelyn2007:

    I'm surprised at all the hate directed at this birth story! I didn't read it at all like she was disrespecting the entire medical staff, or ungrateful at the eventual birth of her healthy baby boy. She admits herself that she has a fear of hospitals/doctors, which is why she was trying for a home birth in the first place.

    It sounds to me like a pretty terrible 6 days of slowly induced labor, an almost-premature birth (~2 weeks early) that can stress anyone out, and a scary doctor trying to rush her into an unnecessary c-section (a decision that was not supported by a second opinion). I would probably have cried as well. And the one time she got cranky with the nurse, she admits she was loopy on drugs.

    Also, I assume your siggy picture means that your husband is currently deployed right now, leaving you on your own with the baby? Anyway, I'm glad the baby ended up being healthy, and that you survived despite your (irrational) white coat fear. :) Good luck with everything!

    As someone who had 3 premiees, you may want to know that 2 weeks early is not premature.  Term is 37 weeks anything before that is considered premature. 

  • imageMrs.Jocelyn2007:

    I'm surprised at all the hate directed at this birth story! I didn't read it at all like she was disrespecting the entire medical staff, or ungrateful at the eventual birth of her healthy baby boy. She admits herself that she has a fear of hospitals/doctors, which is why she was trying for a home birth in the first place.

    It sounds to me like a pretty terrible 6 days of slowly induced labor, an almost-premature birth (~2 weeks early) that can stress anyone out, and a scary doctor trying to rush her into an unnecessary c-section (a decision that was not supported by a second opinion). I would probably have cried as well. And the one time she got cranky with the nurse, she admits she was loopy on drugs.

    Also, I assume your siggy picture means that your husband is currently deployed right now, leaving you on your own with the baby? Anyway, I'm glad the baby ended up being healthy, and that you survived despite your (irrational) white coat fear. :) Good luck with everything!

    This whole thing. Plus I'd like to point out the highlighted part.

    I'm surprised at the rude comments. 

    Did she go against medical advice?  NO. She found out she had pre-e and did what the doctor said she should do. 

    ONE doctor said that she would probably need a csection. The other doctors didn't agree. So she didn't have one! At what time did she put her LO in danger? Are we all forgetting the risks associated with csection?! 

    I'd be pretty upset if I had to induce early due to medical issues and had a long frustrating labor. 

  • Thank you for sharing your birth story. I'm glad all turned out well.
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