am i a terrible mom? i need advice please... :/ — The Bump
Postpartum Depression

am i a terrible mom? i need advice please... :/

dont quite know how to describe how im feeling... My husband is away on deployment and will be until March. I just had my baby 6 weeks ago and he left 3 weeks into his birth.  I was living in washington alone for only about a week and a half but in such a short time i found myself becoming so overwhelmed with the workload of having a newborn, then he starts getting colicky that same day and throwing up more and more often. I found myself having a hard time coping with the fact that my husband is gone.  My family and friends live in cali and although i have finally moved down here to stay with my family i still find myself feeling guilty for sometimes feeling trapped, and tired.   when night comes i start to feel sadness and for some reason anxiety ... especially at the thought of being alone with my baby.  This shouldnt be this way !   i feel awful... im trying my best and it just doesnt seem good enough. DONT GET ME WRONG! ... sometimes i feel just fine though. Happy as can be...  I dunno.  I miss my husband dearly and im trying to do right by my son and be strong but i find myself at times having   difficulty... am i a terrible mother? this is what i have been waiting for, for the last 9 or so months ...? why do i feel this way? how do i fix this? is it just me being rediculous? ... Help
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Re: am i a terrible mom? i need advice please... :/

  • No you are not a terrible mom.  It sounds like you are overwhelmed.  Have you contacted your obgyn?  He or she can get some medication and/or support group info.
  • You are not a bad Mom and you are not the only one to have these feelings! I felt so many of the same things, especially the anxiety and sadness at night. You have been through 3 major life changes in a few short weeks. That is a lot for someone to handle, especially with  your spouse deployed. Talk to someone, your OB, pediatrician, a therapist. IT will get better but you have to ask for help. ::hugs:::
    PCOS dx 2008 | BFP #1 2/26/2009 with Metformin
    Owen Matthew 11/1/2009 4lbs 10oz 16.5in
    Born 5 weeks early by C/S | Severe Pre-Eclampsia
    BFP #2 5/1/2011 | M/C @ 7 weeks | D&C 5/25/2011
    TTC #2 | HSG Clear | SA 2% Morph otherwise great
    3 failed Femara/TI cycles moving on to IUI
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  • You are awesome. Having your DH away on deployment and taking care of your baby makes you a rock star. You are going through an already crazy time, taking care of newborn and out of control hormones, and adding a huge transition on top of that with the deployment.

    Talk to your OBGYN, but know it does get better with time, too (but still check out PPD help).

  • You are a scared new mom without a good support system around you.  Of course you're feeling overwhelmed.  You're NOT a terrible mother.

    You're overwhelmed and you need to something to help yourself.

    Here is the reason that I went and got help.  Jacob was not going to change.  He was a high maintenance, reflux-y baby.  But I needed to change how I was reacting to him.  That's what medication did for me.  It took me back to the mom that I knew I could be.

    You have so much on your plate right now.  Take time to take care of yourself by talking to your doctor.

    Allison
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  • Believe it or not my dear not all new mom are GAGA  over this motherhood thing .Give yourself a break it is a big responsability and it sometime can take time for anew mom to adjust . My children are 17 16 and 14 and motherhood is still a struggle .Every 2 days i wan to put them up for adoption lol . By the way take sometime for yourself you need it so that you can continue parenting enjoy time with your baby
  • My DH was deployed for a year and I had my family/friends around me (and no newborn/kids), yet I felt like you do.  Deployment is hard.  Having a new baby is hard.  Together it must be he11. ((HUGS)) Please do not beat yourself up over this.  Talk with your doctor, see if there is an FRG (military support group near you- they were my lifeline with deployment) and hug your baby.

    Best wishes!

    BFP #1 March 24, 2010; missed m/c May 26, 2010 @ 12w 4d; D&E May 28, 2010

    BFP #2 Oct 20, 2010; My little boy was born on July 5, 2011

    BFP #3 April 30, 2013; Chemical Pg May 5, 2013

    BFP #4 Aug 22, 2013; It's a boy.  Loss discovered at 24 weeks on Jan 15, 2014 (cause CMV virus)    

                                  <3 We love and miss you Timothy <3

    BFP #5 April 6, 2014; missed m/c May 15, 2014 @ 9 weeks; Misoprostol May 15, 2014; D&C May June 3, 2014

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