Flameful. Is my kid just a spolied brat or is this normal

AWD

for an almost 4y/o. For the last month DS has been awful! I feel like every second of my day is spent pleasing him otherwise its a full blown out tantrum. I am not talking about 2 or 3x a day I am literally meaning all day from 7am-7pm! Granted a week of that he was sick or getting over being sick so obvisously we were easier on him then. Now that he's not sick is h*ll again. He slapped me yesterday b/c he wanted to brush his teeth, which I let him do after I do it well I guess I didn't get done fast enough and he flew off. If we are not playing with him 24/7 he's whining. I told him this morning I would love for just him and I to go to the movies to see Toy Story 3 well that wasn't good enough either. He threw a complete tantrum b/c he didn't want milk on his cereal.....for the love I gave him the cup of milk and he's the one that poured it in the cereal. Last night he got mad b/c DH handed him his cup of applesauce and not me. WTF??? Up until about a month ago it wasn't THIS bad. Yes he had his moments but it wasn't 24/7. We try and do things with him like just him and DH or just him and I so it's not like we are not giving him special time without him new sister. KWIM? UGHHHHH I am just fed up  honestly!

august06mom

How are you reacting after he behaves like this? If this is 24/7, yeah, it does seem like a bit much. My DS definitely has his moments where I can't believe he's not truly demon spawn, but it's mostly to see how much he can get away with. After a few days of acting horrid but being punished constantly for it, he seems like he settles down again. Lately when acts terribly, I put him in his room and tell him not to come out until he can behave again and apologize. Sometimes he stays in there for a much-needed quiet time to cool off. Other times it seems like he's in timeout half the day.

 

JOEBunny

My DD has her moments, but not all the time.  Maybe 5 times a day, DD will lose her cool.  At least 2X a day it is over putting on shoes (this is apparently the sword I will die on, shoes).  Usually 1X a day we have the fit about cleaning up after herself.  The other times, it is random. 

I would pick my battles and stick with them.  Have clearly defined punishments and follow through on them.  We use a sort of 1-2-3 approach for things that don't really matter, but would be nice, like being nice to her brother, which is sort of an ongoing battle.  I use time out or "lose a toy or TV", usually in her room for "back talk", being rude/not sharing, and not following basic directions, like put your shoes on.  For more serious things, like hitting, I pretty much have a 0 tolerance policy.  She is shut down immediately, we leave if we are out, she loses her favorite toys if we are home, and her treats for the day, and TV.

Good luck.  It takes a lot of energy and sometimes, I don't have it!

septemberdreams

You haven't said how you're reacting but it seems like you're letting him get away with his horrible behavior.  My view is that his job is to test you and see what he can do and get away.  Your job is to teach him how to behave and to impose limits.  My view is that it doesn't matter if he's sick/not feeling well, it's not an excuse to behave badly.  I tell my DS that my job is not to entertain him/play with him constantly, I do so b/c I want to and if he's not nice than I don't want to play with him/be with him.  His job is to be nice.

femmegem

DS1 definitely has off days where he behaves like this off and on, but it's usually when he's sick or really tired. He's been having a lot of nightmares lately and hasn't been sleeping well, so I know what the root of the issue is.

I really like the book How to Talk so Kids Will Listen and Listen so Kids Will Talk. It's given me a lot of strategies to help him through times like this when he gets super frustrated.

patty78

My almost 4 year old has become a terror recently and so has the little girl down the street who is the same age as DD.  I am guessing/hoping its the age.  When she gets like that though I have to really focus on not catering to it.

femmegem

Yeah, despite the fact that I know why he's being a poo I stick to my guns with him. There are times I can defuse the situation by finding out what's really wrong and addressing that, but more often than not I just have to grit my teeth and ride out the tantrum. Typically once he gets it out of his system and gets distracted he's good.

Carol*Brady

Well my almost 4yr old is not that bad but she can be a terror.  For example she cried all the way through T-day dinner because she only wanted to eat a roll & still get dessert.  I told her no, she had to eat at least a little beans & turkey (& I mean like a Tablespoon of each)...and she refused.  I ended up putting her up in her room for the rest of dinner...and she screamed & cried from there for at least a 1/2 hour.  But in general she only has meltdowns once every couple days--but I do pick my battles for sure.  If I tried to force my way all the time, it would be constant.  I do Love & Logic techniques w/ her & when I am consistent it works well.  You should try that, it really helps in my opinion.

zigby

Def need info on how you're reacting...a GF of mine has a very trying child and she gives into everything and has very light punishments for big things and then goes and does something rewarding right afterwards...it's so bad DS doesn't want to hang out with him and same thing with adults

Littlejen22

My son is turning 4 in two weeks and he gets like this.  I started being more consistant in the last two weeks or so and if he yells at us I just look him straight in the eye and tell him I am not doing anything for him and if he does it again he is going to his room to spend time alone, I did this every time and he now usually apologies the second he yells, he knows he should not do it but still has trouble controlling it when he gets annoyed or mad.  I let him get away with way too much but it is honestly shocking how much it helps if you are consistent, I am honestly shocked by it.