I don't really understand...

ClemsonBride07

Why when you first join the board people say things like "Welcome! Hope your stay here is short and sweet!" Then if it actually is short, people get mad when you post about your BFP so soon. I have only been on here for a week- does that mean if I do happen to get a BFP this cycle people are going to get bent out of shape?

eesome

People only get mad if you don't post often and we have no idea who you are. 

ohsaysaysay

Are your trying pick a fight?  If not, I have no idea why you would post this.

heather_09_15_07

They just want you to post while you're here so they get to "know" you.

ohsaysaysay

Whoops double post

tandb2010

eesome:

People only get mad if you don't post often and we have no idea who you are. 

This totally or if its one of your first few post.  I don't really mind one way or another but I think that is because I have only been here for about 2-3 months. But some ladies have been on her forever and it's a bit of a slap in the face if that is your first-ish post

ProcrastinatingBride

ClemsonBride07:

Why when you first join the board people say things like "Welcome! Hope your stay here is short and sweet!" Then if it actually is short, people get mad when you post about your BFP so soon. I have only been on here for a week- does that mean if I do happen to get a BFP this cycle people are going to get bent out of shape?

I thought you had a good point when you posted this in the BFP post below.  Not sure why you needed to say it again in a new thread.

Ladybug720

ohsaysaysay:

Are your trying pick a fight?  If not, I have no idea why you would post this.

This, I need to keep my drama llama handy.. unless of course I missed a very recent drive by BFP that got flamed.

caroline:)

I don't really get it either, I really do hope everyone could just be on here for 1 cycle. However, I do understand the frustration of someone who's been here for awhile.

Either way, I would (and plan on) just post as much as possible and get to know everyone.

ClemsonBride07

I'm not trying to pick a fight at all. I just read several people's posts about their BFP's and a number of people who replied just said really negative things. I was only curious as to why people would welcome someone to the board but then say something negative if they get lucky.

brookelynpaisley

This was covered yesterday. Le sigh.

heather_09_15_07

ohsaysaysay:

Are your trying pick a fight?  If not, I have no idea why you would post this.

Are YOU trying to pick a fight?

Temp878586125009588

ClemsonBride07

Bc that other post had like 70 replies. After I wrote it, I really didn't think anyone would actually read it.

DaniSev

Those who hope your stay is "short and sweet" are usually not the same posters who get annoyed with drive by BFPs. Like the ladies above have stated though, most of the regulars would prefer you be an active poster if you are going to post a BFP announcement. I used to get annoyed too but have since learned to just ignore and not open those posts if I don't recognize the OP.

Edited for grammar/because I need more caffeine.

cantalopes24

ClemsonBride07:

I'm not trying to pick a fight at all. I just read several people's posts about their BFP's and a number of people who replied just said really negative things. I was only curious as to why people would welcome someone to the board but then say something negative if they get lucky.

Because we are nice people. We just get annoyed when people come in here and post that they are pregnant when we have no clue who they are. It has nothing to do with "luck" of getting pregnant, or jealousy bc we aren't. It just has to do with its the feel of the board. It is what is and no amount of people coming here posting about is going to change it. All you can do is post what you feel is an appropriate response.

MillerTime13

Ladybug720:

ohsaysaysay:

Are your trying pick a fight?  If not, I have no idea why you would post this.

This, I need to keep my drama llama handy.. unless of course I missed a very recent drive by BFP that got flamed.

I totally didn't know you had a drama llama when I added one to a post the other day. Can our llamas be ffriends?

cantalopes24

heather_09_15_07:

ohsaysaysay:

Are your trying pick a fight?  If not, I have no idea why you would post this.

Are YOU trying to pick a fight?

It seems like you are though.

btsrc5

ClemsonBride, I like you (maybe not your school though, because I went to another ACC school LOL). 

I understand your confusion or concern about BFP posts.  Of course we would all love for everyone to get a BFP on their first cycle.  It isn't that at all.  I think what drive by girls don't understand is that there are a lot of girls who have been trying for a long time.  To have someone no one knows just randomly post about a BFP, it is like a slap in the face. 

My advice... lurk on the board, respond to other's posts so we can get to know you and recognize you, participate as much as you can.

We do welcome newbies... but we also want to get to know you while you are here. 

SmlTownGirl87

I am new but this is how I view it. We can still wish your stay is short and sweet (because like Lopes said we are nice people), that doesn't mean if you have 5 posts we will be happy about your BFP. It makes sense if you don't know people on the board, wouldn't you just want to go straight to 1st tri and make friends there? And when people welcome you, that is to welcome you to participate and get to know everyone. NOT post 5 times and then announce your BFP.

herbnhollie

It doesn't bother me how long a person is here. It's more what and how they say it! We're all here for the same reason, to get pregnant!

ohsaysaysay

heather_09_15_07:

ohsaysaysay:

Are your trying pick a fight?  If not, I have no idea why you would post this.

Are YOU trying to pick a fight?

 

Not at all.  Just got the impression that she was trying to get under some skin.

Fianschneid

As a newbie and lurker, I can say that it can feel like you know everyone because you see their posts all the time but that doesn't mean they know you, too.

It must be must be exciting to get the BFP and it must be hard because you have to wait awhile before you can tell everyone IRL but I understand why people who don't know anything about a person have a hard time getting excited for them.

If I ever get a BFP, I will probably post it here. Then again, I'm actively trying to get to know people on the board.

ClemsonBride07

Thank you! I promise I'm not trying to start a fight at all. If you knew me, you would know that is the opposite of my personality. I really was just curious bc I'm so new to this!

GrneyedItalian

Oh dear. Just glad it's not me today!

cantalopes24

SmlTownGirl87:

I am new but this is how I view it. We can still wish your stay is short and sweet (because like Lopes said we are nice people), that doesn't mean if you have 5 posts we will be happy about your BFP. It makes sense if you don't know people on the board, wouldn't you just want to go straight to 1st tri and make friends there?

Ding ding ding, we have a winner. The women on 1st tri and your month board are going to be the women you spend the rest of your pregnancy getting to know, why come here and tell us when we don't know you and we may never get the chance...

amandaloren

cantalopes24:

SmlTownGirl87:

I am new but this is how I view it. We can still wish your stay is short and sweet (because like Lopes said we are nice people), that doesn't mean if you have 5 posts we will be happy about your BFP. It makes sense if you don't know people on the board, wouldn't you just want to go straight to 1st tri and make friends there?

Ding ding ding, we have a winner. The women on 1st tri and your month board are going to be the women you spend the rest of your pregnancy getting to know, why come here and tell us when we don't know you and we may never get the chance...

YepNo matter how many times this gets explained certain people will just never get it! I have to be in a pretty good mood to explain it to them too....

MillerTime13

cantalopes24:

SmlTownGirl87:

I am new but this is how I view it. We can still wish your stay is short and sweet (because like Lopes said we are nice people), that doesn't mean if you have 5 posts we will be happy about your BFP. It makes sense if you don't know people on the board, wouldn't you just want to go straight to 1st tri and make friends there?

Ding ding ding, we have a winner. The women on 1st tri and your month board are going to be the women you spend the rest of your pregnancy getting to know, why come here and tell us when we don't know you and we may never get the chance...

x 1,000

Honeybee2813

ClemsonBride07:

Why when you first join the board people say things like "Welcome! Hope your stay here is short and sweet!" Then if it actually is short, people get mad when you post about your BFP so soon. I have only been on here for a week- does that mean if I do happen to get a BFP this cycle people are going to get bent out of shape?

 

I totally agree with you! I ask myself the same thing. 

LadyBugLove7

btsrc5:

ClemsonBride, I like you (maybe not your school though, because I went to another ACC school LOL). 

I understand your confusion or concern about BFP posts.  Of course we would all love for everyone to get a BFP on their first cycle.  It isn't that at all.  I think what drive by girls don't understand is that there are a lot of girls who have been trying for a long time.  To have someone no one knows just randomly post about a BFP, it is like a slap in the face. 

My advice... lurk on the board, respond to other's posts so we can get to know you and recognize you, participate as much as you can.

We do welcome newbies... but we also want to get to know you while you are here. 

 

LauraElizabeth85

I'm sure you are a nice enough girl, but try to understand that you need to stick around this board for a bit to completely understand the dynamics. If you become a part of this board (posting on a regular basis) we will all be happy to extend congrats whether it is your 1st or 12th + month TTC. We just find it rude that women who are not members of our community feel the need to stop by our board to announce their BFP.

ClemsonBride07

For what it's worth, now I'm kinda scared to post anything else because I really don't want it to be taken the wrong way.

DaniSev

ClemsonBride07:

For what it's worth, now I'm kinda scared to post anything else because I really don't want it to be taken the wrong way.

Don't be afraid of a bunch internet strangers.

Fianschneid

ClemsonBride07:

For what it's worth, now I'm kinda scared to post anything else because I really don't want it to be taken the wrong way.

Well, it's the internet, so people are going to feel free to say whatever they want to you. Just use the common sense you use in conversations IRL and you'll be okay. If someone doesn't like what you say, don't let it bother you too much. It's just a message board.

SmlTownGirl87

ClemsonBride07:

For what it's worth, now I'm kinda scared to post anything else because I really don't want it to be taken the wrong way.

We are just explaining what you didn't understand. Call me crazy but I don't get that you are now scared to post, or feel like you are being taken the wrong way?!?!

I was certainly not trying to be mean.

heather_09_15_07

cantalopes24:

heather_09_15_07:

ohsaysaysay:

Are your trying pick a fight?  If not, I have no idea why you would post this.

Are YOU trying to pick a fight?

It seems like you are though.

Yes, totally. She posts an overly aggressive reply but I'm the one trying to pick a fight. LOL.

caroline:)

ClemsonBride07:

For what it's worth, now I'm kinda scared to post anything else because I really don't want it to be taken the wrong way.

Nah. No need to be scared. If you really want to be part of a community you'll just keep on trucking. Flaming (which you weren't BTW) comes with the territory. It's not very interesting if everyone always agrees!

ClemsonBride07

I was talking about the people that thought I was picking a fight. Thanks, though!

loveypants

I replied to you here you first posted.  didn't realize until later that you posted it AGAIN.

 

Ya Never Know

It's not about the length of time you've been on here. I think people get more angry at the general lack of common sense that occurs when a person who doesn't contribute to the board in any way posts a BFP.

Why would you want to tell a room full of strangers that you're pregnant? Or better yet, why would you log on to the internet, take the time to find a forum full of strangers just to tell them you are pregnant? 

SaucyRedhead

ClemsonBride07:

For what it's worth, now I'm kinda scared to post anything else because I really don't want it to be taken the wrong way.

LOL. Are you shaking in your virtual internet boots?!?