Share your opinion please!!

CandiceandRyan

I'm in a mom's group and tonight we met an expectant mother. She is 36 weeks but her baby has not been growing and she said that the Dr's said the baby is about 3 weeks behind. She has a appointment the 30th to schedule and appointment.

 We had talked about our kids (as moms are prone to do) and I had mentioned stuff about Felicity being a preemie and in NICU. She started to ask me how long Felicity was in nicu and said that the dr.s mentioned that hers might be in for a week or so.... I was talking about Felicity (not scary stuff!) and all the other mom's started interrupting and saying 'oh but you don't need to worry, she will be fine!!!

 Would you send her an email saying that if you want to talk any I am here? EVERYONE (dr's and nurses) said that Felicity would be fine and most don't even need NICU time (she was 35 weeks) so i totally believed them and had no idea that she would end up in the NICU. NICU never even came and talked to me (she ended up in level3). I think I would of liked someone to say- hey, this is what is a possibility. Specially since her dr.s mentioned it already. Not in a scary way, my experience was good as far as NICU goes (10 days) but just as a hey, if you wanna talk I am here!

 

WDYT??

Kate621

I don't think that it can hurt to reach out. If your friend is 36 weeks and baby hasn't been growing for 3 weeks it is a very real possibility that her LO will have some NICU time. I would just offer your support and let her know that you are there if/when she needs you.

shugs-n-sweets

I would probably send her an email just saying you are there for her if she needs you, especially if she seemed interested in hearing what you were saying, despite the others around brushing it off.

luvdv8

I would send her an email- just let her know that you're thinking of her and hoping her LO is ok and if she needs some support or finds herself in need of some NICU advice that you're there for her.

Amanda705

This is a tough situation...  I can relate to what your friend is going through.  My twin B was 3 weeks behind with IUGR.  My Peri's never said she'll be fine, no problem but they did say that babies born at 28+ weeks have a better outcomes.  My girls were a different story because both have chronic lung disease and the little one now has a trach, we've been in the NICU for 16 weeks.... so no one can really say what will happen.  Most likely your friends baby WILL be just fine, but she may have to spend some time in the NICU.  I wish I would've known that chronic lung disease was something that we might have to deal with, but we really just thought we'd have the 'typical preemie issues' (i.e. feeding. growing, body temp).  Like PP's I would just reach out and say you're here for her and to make sure she consults with a Neonatologist if she's really worried.

lgmom2010

Kate621:

I don't think that it can hurt to reach out. If your friend is 36 weeks and baby hasn't been growing for 3 weeks it is a very real possibility that her LO will have some NICU time. I would just offer your support and let her know that you are there if/when she needs you.

 

This. 

At1stsight

lgmom2010:

Kate621:

I don't think that it can hurt to reach out. If your friend is 36 weeks and baby hasn't been growing for 3 weeks it is a very real possibility that her LO will have some NICU time. I would just offer your support and let her know that you are there if/when she needs you.

 

This. 

And I'm annoyed on your behalf about your other friends acting like you were doing something wrong by talking about what happened to you. Yeah, it's not super pleasant to hear, but it doesn't sound like you were trying to freak her out or be overly pessimistic, just realistic and supportive.

kgeorge1019

At1stsight:

lgmom2010:

Kate621:

I don't think that it can hurt to reach out. If your friend is 36 weeks and baby hasn't been growing for 3 weeks it is a very real possibility that her LO will have some NICU time. I would just offer your support and let her know that you are there if/when she needs you.

 

This. 

And I'm annoyed on your behalf about your other friends acting like you were doing something wrong by talking about what happened to you. Yeah, it's not super pleasant to hear, but it doesn't sound like you were trying to freak her out or be overly pessimistic, just realistic and supportive.

 

All of this! 

CandiceandRyan

Thanks, y'all!! I didn't think that I was out of line talking about it Gonna send her an email offering support if she needs/wants it!

lilbit923

I would send her an email advising you're more than willing to share your experience with her. I would also follow up with her after delivery and see how she is while she is in the hospital. If you make the effort to explain what's going on in the NICU from a mother's perspective instead of a nurse or doctor, it might ease the tension for her. Perhaps it would help her to see the light at the end of the tunnel.

I really wish I had that when my son was in the NICU. I was so overwhelmed by the condition my son was in that I literally fell apart and sobbed while the nurses are explaining to me what's happened to him. I went from hearing the nurse speak to it being inaudible and a total blur. I had tunnel vision and all I could see was my son an 8lb 8oz, 37 week baby that was fighting to take a breath and dying in the process. It didn't matter what they had to say to me. All I wanted to know was Is he going to live? Once I could process that then it all started to make sense of each process he went through, what medicines did what, what monitor took care of which part of him. It took awhile for it to look "normal" and not so frightening.

I wish I had a friend like you when my son was there. It would have helped me tremendously.

massnk

Everyone is different but I would definitely appreciate someone reaching out to me.

str8ota

At1stsight:

lgmom2010:

Kate621:

I don't think that it can hurt to reach out. If your friend is 36 weeks and baby hasn't been growing for 3 weeks it is a very real possibility that her LO will have some NICU time. I would just offer your support and let her know that you are there if/when she needs you.

 

This. 

And I'm annoyed on your behalf about your other friends acting like you were doing something wrong by talking about what happened to you. Yeah, it's not super pleasant to hear, but it doesn't sound like you were trying to freak her out or be overly pessimistic, just realistic and supportive.

Exactly this.  None of us want there to be anything wrong with our babies but when something does happen I think it's better to be prepared.