So I was looking into adoption..

KelinandKevin

And it seems really intense.  I am reading stories of birth mom's backing out and financial issues.  I really want to leave that open as an option for us, but I couldn't imagine being selected and then having the mom back out on the day of the birth.  Or even worse, backing out after we have already taken the child home (I guess there is a window there where she can change her mind). 

Anyone have any good resources on adoption? Like books or whatever?  I know there is an adoption board but I want to get some more information before I go over there so I don't look like an idiot.

TIA!

mlmtgg

big hugs to you Kelin.

when we began looking into it I did a lot of research online about the local adoption agencies, to see what was available in our area. The adoption board recommends "Adoption for Dummies" - which I got from the library. It is really helpful just to browse through and get some of the lingo and options down, and to start to organize what you want to look into. Understanding some of the options then helped us narrow down to one agency in our area that we were looking at. We've now kept on their mailing/notice list, and plan to use them in the future. 

I've also found a basic intro on the adoption board that you are just starting to learn, and what resources are out there - you will def get positive and supportive responses. a bunch of the ladies there have blogs that have great resources too.

Scout05

Adoption for Dummies is a good start.

One of the reasons we elected to go w/ Catholic Charities is that they don't tell you you have been matched until the parents have signed their termination of rights papers. That way, you avoid some of the hardships of the process.

ETA: In terms of the birth parents changing their minds after the child is placed, different states have different rules. In IL, for example, there is a 72 hour window. Our agency does not alert you to the match until that period is up. After that, it is essentially impossible for the birth parents to reclaim custody.

CashewsMommy

I don't have any advice, but I just wanted to say best of luck to you!!

surfergirlkona

Big hugs, Kelin.  I have no experience in this, but it is wonderful you are looking into adoption.  Love you!

butterfly843

Sending hugs, I read the adoption for dummies which was very helpful. I also did a search at my local library and checked out all the books they had on adoption.

kmount

Hugs to you.  DH and I are working on foster-to-adopt, which is the only process we've looked into and is very different than the other options.  If you want to know more about what we've learned, PM me

HugginAngel

My friend was adopted through (I think) Catholic Charities and in turn adopted her daughter through there. They also have an open adoption with a visit twice a year for 3yrs and she was telling me the other day she just extended it another 3 and will allow her daughter to choose the way she wants it when she's 6. They refer to her birth mom as Momma L*** and it seems to work really really well for them. If you wanted to talk to her I don't think she'd have any issue sharing the info. I think her being adopted herself really makes a difference in her passion about it, she had a closed adoption and only knows her parents first names and medical history which she said has been hard for her at times.

Cissi64

I post over on the adoption board because my 3 oldest were adoopted from foster care.  Post an intro and ask questions...we don't mind if you don't know everyting already.  People come there for info all the time.  You will find all kinds of different situations represented and there are even a few birth mothers who post to give us the "other side" so to speak.  About the only thing that will make you not welcome over there is if you come on bashing adoption.  (Just like this board, there are a few sickos that like to stir up trouble)

 As some one suggested, Adoption for Dummies is a good place to start because it will explain the different kinds of adoptions.  Once you decide which kind you want to go for, you will know what kind of agency or lawyer you want to sign with and what questions you need to ask.

 

Court1

I've done some research on adoption, but backed off of it a few months ago.  I second Allison & think that Catholic Charities is a great organization.  We'll be diving back into next summer if we're still here.

str8ota

Hey Kelin, I have been thinking of you and so sorry about the loss.

We are going through Catholic Social Services and they have been wonderful, my caseworker called me while I was in the hospital and also when we got home to see how we were doing, they seem very sincere and are about placing babies in good homes, not just the money.  We will be going through them next year after Brin is 12 months old (that's how long we have to wait to continue the process) and plan on using them for our 3rd adoption also since we now only have the choice of adoption and can't have anymore children. They were always fine with us ttc during the adoption process (some agencies are not ok with that) and that was a big plus.  You ca always contact agencies and they can send you their info just so you can get a feel for what's out there and what kind of adoption you may be interested in (domestic, international, open, close, foster-to-adopt, infant, etc).

As for books I like the dummy and idiot books, I got mine on Amazon for dirt cheap.  I also have a book where it's from the adoptive mother's point of view (all her fears and anxieties), I'll have to find it because I can't remember the title.

There is also an adoption group board on Yahoo where you can ask about agencies and people who have dealt with that agency can give you feedback on their experience.

You know you can always email me on FB if you have any questions. 

JayandTay09

Big hugs Kelin...I have no advice but wanted to wish you the best of luck hun!