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Just curious... guilt trips other plans?
If you are a SM and you have your SKIDS EOW... do you make other plans for yourself or do you keep that wkend (or time) set aside to spend with JUST them? or them and other family?...
I have a 3 day wkend when we have the kids. When we don't, I only have ONE day off, so if I want to visit friends, etc, it's not that easy and sometimes (not all cause I don't do it a lot) I get the 'sure-plan stuff when they're here' comment. My remark back is... Jerk, knock it off.
Just wondered if anyone else gets this or makes plans or goes away to visit friends if it's your time to have the SKIDS?
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Re: Just curious... guilt trips other plans?
If something is going on the weekend we have SD, I don't say no just because she is here. Sure, sometimes I feel a little guilty, but DH has never minded. I also am mindful to not make those types of plans every weekend either. There have been plenty of times though when I have declined because we have SD. It just depends on what the occasion is/outing is for. My friend's annual ornament exchange party? I will go to that regardless of whether we have SD or not. A random casual girl's wine night in at a friend's house? That is skippable.
We are also very flexible with the visitation schedule, so we can always switch weekends as well if something big were to interfere.
It will be two weeks on Wed since I last saw my SS. The weekend before last I went away with friends for the night and last Wed I attended an event and he was in bed before I got home.
On Wed DH tried to guilt me with ' he's been asking all eve where you are' and I actually believe he was BUT I think it is a necessity for him to have a relationship with his dad and a bonus if he gets along well with me also.
In a nut shell, if something comes up and I want to go, I go.
This is def a good point! At least I put the laundry in the washer before I left... right?
I know. I feel a little guilty, but I think that I would still make plans if they were here 24/7. And he would, too. Thanks!
If something comes up that I want to attend when we have the SKs I go. They like the time alone with dad. Nothing to feel guilty over!
Personally I think its ok to leave when they are there, but if you are leaving because they are there, then it's a problem KWIM? As often as I would go out alone, I would plan something for us all.
As with everything, it is all about finding a balance.
I don't make plans on the weekends the Skids are with us. I only get to see them EOW so I want to spend as much time as i can with them. Occasionally if something comes up that I can't avoid (a baby shower or a wedding or some one time event) I will do that, but I don't make plans just to go out with friends or whatever.
It also might have to do with the fact that I have 2 Skids and one LO of my own so if I go out then DH has to be home with all three kids by himself, which I don't think is very fair for him.
Agree!
Last friday night I went out with my two girlfriends(hadn't seen them together in over a year) and didn't feel bad whatsoever. I also work a lot of weekends so I do miss time with them. Sometimes it really bothers me, because I do miss them. BUT I know that the boys need their dad, they only have two weekends a month together and I love seeing them go off together and bond, just the three of them.
However, during the 4 weeks in summer that we get them, I do take a lot of my vacation time to spend with them.
double post
No, I do not make other plans during the times my SKs are here.
Edited to say: I don't think it's a horrible thing if some do make occasional plans when their SKs are there. Just not something I do.
I occasionally make plans when SS is with us but I'm more likely to make them when he's not just because it's easier for DH to watch 1 v. 2.
I see nothing wrong with time away from the kids. They need one-on-one bonding time with their dad too, right?
Ditto the bolded. I work every Friday night until late so Skids get to spend Friday nights alone with DH. They usually watch a movie together or something like that. Then if we go out, we go as a family. Plans are made as a family. For little errands, like running to the store, I usually take one SD and the other stays home with DH. Next time, we switch.
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