Long story short - I have dealt with mild depression in my past, know that medication is very effective in eliminating symptoms, went off meds before trying to get pregnant. Symptoms returned, as they always do, but I toughed it out. Now, several months PP, I'm really struggling. I KNOW there are many doctors, and many on this board, that endorse continuing BF on meds, but it's just not something my DH and I are willing to do. So now I'm here, basically at a point where I'm aware meds are necessary and it MAY be more important to my LO to have a stable mother and harmonious environment, feeling like I fail either way. It's lose-lose. I keep BF for a few more months, feeling anxious and shaky and tearful and resentful and getting into fights with DH, and my LO is subjected to this. OR I give up BF, return to the meds I know work, and feel like I failed my LO because I couldn't just overcome this. (Yeah, I know full well it's not a mind over matter thing, but the mind and heart can still trick you into that guilt.) Now, part of me also knows that when I'm on my meds, those "guilty" feelings aren't really there b/c I'm just feeling myself again, and may know I made the best decision for my baby all things considered. But I really feel like I'm between a rock and a hard place, and no soluation is good. Dealing with this, frankly, sucks. It's just not fair to those of us who are forced to choose. So, just wondering if there are any moms out there who went the course I'm considering - going on meds but giving up BF just to be on the absolute safe side - that are really glad they did what they did. Or anyone who stuck it out to say, 6 months, that can tell me to hang in there. Thanks for listening.