Sorry in advance for this post... just need to vent.
I've recently posted about wondering if I am developing PPD. Last night, I had a complete breakdown. I was at home with DH and DS, and I just started weeping. I resent my son, I hate my life, and I'm constantly anxious. By the time my "episode" was over, DH and I both agreed that I need to get some help. It's been so heartbreaking.
The doctors in my town aren't the best, and I honestly don't trust them. My parents, who live a couple hours away, have agreed to let me come and visit for a week so they can help take care of LO so I can rest, see the doctor there, and hopefully start feeling a whole lot better. (DH works the night shift, so I don't get a lot of help with DS.)
I'm really grateful for the help. However, my mom is a smoker. She doesn't smoke in her house, but it still has me anxious and not wanting to go, though I need the help. I'm already struggling from anxiety, and add this to the mix. Wow.
So, needless to say, I'm one big mess. My husband keeps pushing me to go and heal up; I can't even enjoy my son. I'm pretty sure I need to go, too, it's just causing me so much extra worry. (Though the thought of being able to get some sleep and recover sounds like what I need.)
Any advice or encouragement would be appreciated. I can't wait to see the end of this mess.