donating embryos question

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is it too weird to join this board if I am considering the donation of my embryos? I feel like I don't know what the heck I'm doing and it would be nice to chat with people, but I don't want to intrude either.

I lurk here anyway (my sweet niece and nephew were adopted at age 7 by my sister and BIL due to BM neglect), but I don't usually speak up.

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I think it would be fine for you to be here -- you might gain a little more insight about the process on the IF board (as some ladies there are on the receiving end of the donation process), but I think you're more than welcome to join in here.

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sorry -- I realized that I wasn't clear at all.

I already have 6 frozen embryos and know all there is to know about getting to that point  Our son was born via IVF. I am not looking to sell them for money, though I certainly don't judge those that do. In fact, my issue is I am a bit frustrated that places charge couples on top of the IF procedures they have to go through (well -- I get that they are providing a service, but I also know how $$$ ART can be).

DH is on board and we're ready to donate our embryos. It's a lot more emotional than I thought it would be and the fact that it is indeed adoption (of an embryo, but still) has dawned upon me pretty intensely -- but I am still committed. And I'm having trouble finding a place to coordinate an adoption. I looked into Bethany a bit. Anyway, thanks for listening.

silliestbunny

We've seriously consider (and still do) "adopting" embryos and using a surrogate.  It's sort of been our back up option but as our adoption journey hasn't been easy, it's on our minds more and more lately.

We are signed up w/EmbryosAlive.com since they are one "facilitation" organization that is lower cost, allows surrogates, and is not associated w/an IVF clinic.  Surromomsonline.com also has postings for embryos. 

But it sounds like you are more interested in finding somewhere for emotional support as you make the decisions....I can't imagine how difficult it is to make the decision.  I do know that Embryos Alive offer the donating couple the option to have some level of an open relationship with the adopting couple and child/ren. 

We've also evaluated costs involved, which includes some FDA issues.  If you want to chat more, let me know.

Amy720

I would say it's perfectly fine for you to be here.  We had 7 frozen embryos left after trying 2 Frozen Embryo Transfers (both ended in miscarriages).  We stopped the treatments and adopted our sweet little Ben.  After his adoption, I didn't want to go through any more appts, shots, or heartache so we decided to donate the embryos through our IVF clinic.  I did not want to destroy them or donate to research.  If we could help another couple acheive their little one then we were all for it. 

jehnm

We are also considering embryo adoption as a way to grow our family.  I agree with silliest bunny's comments.  I'm sure it is a difficult decision for you to make and I think it's awesome that you are moving forward.  I'd love to follow your journey and feel free to ask questions or just post thoughts here as you move along!!

Welcome!

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silliestbunny:

We've seriously consider (and still do) "adopting" embryos and using a surrogate.  It's sort of been our back up option but as our adoption journey hasn't been easy, it's on our minds more and more lately.

We are signed up w/EmbryosAlive.com since they are one "facilitation" organization that is lower cost, allows surrogates, and is not associated w/an IVF clinic.  Surromomsonline.com also has postings for embryos. 

But it sounds like you are more interested in finding somewhere for emotional support as you make the decisions....I can't imagine how difficult it is to make the decision.  I do know that Embryos Alive offer the donating couple the option to have some level of an open relationship with the adopting couple and child/ren. 

We've also evaluated costs involved, which includes some FDA issues.  If you want to chat more, let me know.

Thank you. I will check out EmbryosAlive and Surromomsonline. I am pretty curious about FDA issues. I think it won't be long before there are laws put into place for embryo adoption -- especially with all the IF procedures. 

It is 'hard' but not so hard. Just typing as I think: What's difficult is letting them go, of course. Part of me wonders if I should keep a tube of embryos for a bit longer (we have two tubes, 6 embryos altogether) - I would imagine this is a normal concern. Then I feel bad bc I want to keep the tube with higher grade blastocysts -- I feel guilty for wanting to do that! I worry what my son will think about it when he's old enough to understand.

What's wonderful is that I am so excited to donate and my husband is on the same wavelength as me. I am reassured by the option of communication, however limited. 

My DH and I have wondered if it's a good idea to have a few counseling sessions to really talk and explore it all.  We look at bios and we have to remind ourselves people are more than just words and pictures in a bio and people have to right to be their own kind of family, with their own traditions, faults, quirks, likes/dislikes and characteristics.

KarlsSweetie05

I posted a bunch of resources a few pages back about donor embryos.

Briefly, I would review the resources available from Resolve.org.  They have free webinars for both sides of the issue (donating and receiving). 

Resolve also has a message board and they might have a sub-topic board dedicated to discussing donor embryo options.

https://www.resolve.org/family-building-options/donor-options/using-donor-embryo.html