what to do? so confused over sleeping issues

CarolynAndBrad

This has been going on for weeks now.  During the night, Peter sleeps pretty well - can go up to 7 hrs straight, and sleeps through his brother's cries and noises.  During the day, he also naps decently well, but wakes 45 minutes in.  I managed to reduce his dependence on his pacifier over the last 2 weeks, but he's still swaddled up a lot of the time. 

Henry, for weeks, also wakes 45 minutes into naps but also during at least half or all of the night.  He'll only sleep maybe 5 hrs straight at night.  I have not managed to get him to reduce the paci, and he's swaddled as well but has been fighting it. 

Clearly Henry especially has a problem with putting himself back to sleep.  Do I tackle multiple problems at once (like reduce the paci and swaddle with arms out)?  And do I attack sleeping 24 hrs a day or just at night for now?  I figure if I work on some changes at night, they may need to nap in swings so that they get some sleep in.  If they don't get in some sleep, I know it'll just make things worse.  Overall we aim to have them sleep a total of 15 hrs a day - if they don't get close to that, they're cranky.  They're both totally on formula, and their middle of the night bottle is down to only 3 ounces.  Should I try just not feeding them all - just shushing them back to sleep and make them wait for their 6 oz at 5am?

I've asked for help on this a few different ways, but I'm still just at a loss.  I've tired letting time go by to help, but that's not helping!  I'm ok with waiting to go in a bit, but it doesn't seem like that's going to work unless they really cry it out, which I think they're too young for. 

I know some of what I've described is pretty good considering their age.  But the sleeplessness is really bothering us and we're really at a loss of what to do next.

monkski

I read somewhere recently that 45 minutes is when their sleep cycles change and that's the cause for some babies waking up. I don't remember what it said to do about it though, sorry.

why do you feel the need to reduce paci and swaddle time? they are still so young and if they like them, why stop?

They are also pretty young to totally cut out a night time feeding. It's pretty normal to still have that. I wouldn't cut it out. Ours still wake once every night to eat.

Crying it out a little is ok at this age, but I wouldn't do it for too long. have you read the "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy twins" book. I would highly recommend it. Our pedi once told us - no baby died simply from crying. That helped us to realize that if all their needs have been met, then they are safe and it's ok to let them cry a little. We did that a little in the beginning and we have great night sleepers. They just wake once around 3am to eat.

GL!

monkski

I just notice our babies are only 3 days apart too :-)

CarolynAndBrad

I'm trying to get them off pacis because they won't stay in.  I have no interest in trying to find a new brand that might work better because they have to get off them at some point.  And I'm trying to get off swaddles (maybe) because latelyall they do is wiggle out.  They've also started rolling (from tummys to back) so I know at some point they'll roll the other way and I don't want to have to cut out swaddles cold turkey when that happens.

I'm having a really rough day.  I thought I'd start to try some of this out today, given that it's Fri and my hsuband will be able to help me cope over the weekend.  WE're not expecting anyv isitors I thought it was a good 3 day stretch to work with them.  It's jsut hard because jsut when I think I can deal with a little crying/fussing, I can't when they both get going.  It's just so hard having never done this before and with two!  I have no one to turn to for advice. 

Dakotapam

Carolyn,

My girls are almost 10 months old, and I so understand the sleeping issues. Sadly, sometimes babies just won't or can't sleep on our schedules. Our girls are finally sleeping nearly though the night, though during teething or illness they can be up several times. It is hard, but, believe it or not, fleeting! I have four older sons and at 14, 11, 8 and 6, they all sleep all night and put themselves to bed. During babyhood it was a different story. Do you have any other mom friends who you get a chance to connect with locally, like a Moms Club or a Twins club? I've found the support and friendship to be very helpful.

Here is a blog post about our twin sleep journey. https://dakotapam.com/mom-skills-doing-twins-need-sleep/: We still don't have it perfect, and I still remember all too well nights where I  was  up with one or the other baby every hour all night long.

Hugs to you! This too will pass. 

 

babydontforget

Hugs to you! It sounds like you're having a rough go of it today, and I'm sorry about that. Sleep deprivation can really get to a person, I know. Can I suggest that you perhaps put your husband "on duty" tonight, so you can get yourself a nice night of sleep? Then, start fresh tomorrow and tomorrow night with sleep training stuff.  Just a thought...

If your babies are rolling over, I think you're right to cut the swaddles. I heard that it's best to lose the swaddles when they can roll over or at 4 months, whichever comes first) Frankly, though, I think you might be torturing yourself by trying to eliminate both swaddles and pacis. That's a whole lot of soothing to get rid of at once! I hear where you're coming from about not wanting to introduce a new kind when you'll want to get rid of them soon, but if you change your mind about that, try the Mam brand. They stay in the best.

I would work on night sleep first, and then work on lengthening naps. My babies are around yours in age, and I very rarely get naps that are longer than 45 minutes. I'm OK with that, though, because they sleep decently at night. The success we're having with night sleeping (Luke is sleeping 10-12 hour stretches; Cal sleeps 9-10 hours stretches, and then goes back to sleep for a bit to wake up when Luke does) is due completely to Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Twins, which I totally recommend.