Do you get DH's ok if kids come over when he's home?

4Speedy

Here's the background:  I called the mom of one of DD's friends a few days ago to arrange a playdate.  The mom returnd my call yesterday at lunchtime.  Since it happened to be a day my DD was not in preschool, I volunteered to pick the friend up at the bus stop at 4:15 so she could come over to our house to play for a couple hours and have dinner with us.  Her mom picked her up at 7pm.  The girls have not had much opportunity to play together since school started because the friend goes to all day kindergarten.  They used to play during the day when DH was at work.

The kids were really well behaved and kept busy coloring, making easy bake oven treats, etc.  But it was noisy.  Not excessively, just normal 4-5 year old giggling, singing along to Justin Bieber, etc.

I was pretty pleased with the way it went and mentioned to DH this morning that I was glad DD got a chance to play with her friend.  DH looked at me with an annoyed look on his face and said, "It was a bit much to come home to."

To DH's defense, as he walked into the house at 6:00, he was on the phone with a dear friend whose father passed away just hours before.  Dh was trying to be sympathetic to his friend while there was a lot of giggling in the background.  (Until I could figure out what was going on from DH's end of the conversation and quieted the girls down.)  So I get it was not an ideal time to try out having kids over to play during evening hours.  I'll have to discuss further with DH whether he meant it's a bit much to have kids over on work/school evenings in general or if he just meant last night specifically.

But it got me to wondering, if kids come over to play and it runs over into time when your DH will be home, do you have to clear it with him first?

Rebekah1021

Nope. DH usually encourages it. He was an only child so he's always on me to get DD to interact with other kids.

ETA: I usually give him a heads up if someone is over when he's on his way from work.

shouldbworkin

Nope, he'd be thrilled.  It's chaos in the evening every evening at our house, though.

docmay25

No, I don't clear it with him, but I do give him a heads up.  I just let him know what is going on, people will be over etc.  Usually if dh doesn't want to socialize or has things to do, he will go off and do it which is fine with me.

The only time I asked if it is okay, is if he is working.  Sometimes dh works from home and I try to make sure if it is a day I know he will be making phone calls, I keep the noise out of the house...just as a courtesy.

KoriBrett

Not in that sense, no.

We call each other to make sure there weren't already plans made or something but that's it.

DaiLyght

I only get his OK if I expect him to help out, come somewhere with us, or if it's going to require additional effort or time on his part. However, I always give him a heads up. I think it's just nice to get some kind of notice that something is different than the norm, no matter if it's a playdate, a friend of mine is over, etc. He does the same for me.

firefightersgal

No.  If he needs to talk on the phone, he just goes into another room.  Our house is almost always noisy, even with just one kid.

joy143dh

DH is not home most nights, so we don't run into this often during the week.  On the weekends, the neighbors & I have sort of an open door policy.  The neighbor kids come over our house for a while, then go to another house for a while, and back to ours, etc.   I guess I've never asked DH if it's ok that they all come over.  But then again, he's never asked me either.

Knowing now that he may need some wind-down time when he gets home, I think it would be a good idea to give him a heads-up so he is prepared when he walks in.

shopgirl78

Nope.   I usually give him the heaps up if I talk to him on the phone or I will mention it if its been planned in advance.   We have a neighbor girl that comes over alot and its not scheduled.   Then again, our house is chaotic with or without one more kid....

littlemermaid

I don't have playdates after a full day of school.  I will on weekends during the day or on a half-day of school.  But the evenings is for everyone to eat as a family and try to have a quiet evening.    I don't feel it is fair for my husband to have to come home to extra children in the home after working all day.  He wants to unwind at the end of the day and I respect that.