What is wrong w/ me?? Over-protective?

MaygenDL0ve

Brand new MoM here to two beautiful, thriving twin boys.........  Right now I'm taking care of them w/ my MIL. My hubby flew her into town for 16 days to help me while he went out of town for work.  She is amazing support, and I'm glad she's here, but I get so bothered when she holds them!!  I don't know why ????  Every time she cuddles, feeds, burps, holds, or rocks one, I have this very strong urge to snatch them away.  Of course this is ridiculous......  and I don't say or do anything about it.  But is this normal?

 I felt the same way in the hospital when my dad and step mom were here after they were born.  Every time my step mom held them, I got insanely bothered.  

janjag

My dad says my mom was like that.  His mom was visiting when I was a NB and my mother actually did snatch me away! 

Maybe it's a new mom hormonal thing... seems understandable.  You are trying to bond with TWO new babies at the same time.

Haven1

You know, I do the same thing when my mom holds one.  For me, it's not being over-protective, it's being jealous that she gets to give one her full, undivided attention and play with him as long as she wants.  She does all the little development games that I want to do with them but don't feel like I can juggle them both. 

She got DS2 to laugh for the first time, and I'm STILL pissed about it.  Maybe it's because I constantly feel guilty that I'm holding one and not the other, but I never feel like I can just focus and play with one.  I feel like I have to divide my attention between the two to make sure everyone is happy and stimulated.

Clearly I should just enjoy the one I have when she has one, but I can never seem to relax and do it.  Who knows.  Maybe something is wrong with me too.

leslie13510

Totally normal.  I really think there is something hard-wired into you when you become a mom that makes you feel the need to "protect" your babies even in completely irrational situations.  I felt it a lot when they were newborns, and while I feel it a lot less now, it still happens sometimes.

My mom was up here visiting last week, and there was one night when both kids were cuddling with her on the couch before bed.  I mean, I cuddle with them every single night, I have them completely to myself almost all of the time, and most days I dream of having someone else around so that I can just get a break and a moment to myself without having toddlers all over me.  Then it happened and my heart felt like it was breaking in half and I just wanted to run over and snatch them both up to come sit and cuddle with me.  (I didn't, but I wanted to.) 

MaygenDL0ve

Yeah i guess it is a bit of jealousy like you guys said.  i want to be able to do it all for both!!

fitnessmk

I felt this way with my daughter for a long time. I still am overprotective and she is almost 3. I am hoping that I won't be as bad with the twins.

Stina4242

I worry I am going to feel like this.  When I go back to work my MIL who runs an in home daycare will be watching my babies.  It really bothers me to think of all the time she will have with them and dread the day they say their first word there or something.

Really just the thought of going back to work is making me want to cry.

Both of our MILs sound amazing and helpful and we should relax and accept there help (well I am not quite there yet).

MaygenDL0ve

Stina4242:

I worry I am going to feel like this.  When I go back to work my MIL who runs an in home daycare will be watching my babies.  It really bothers me to think of all the time she will have with them and dread the day they say their first word there or something.

Really just the thought of going back to work is making me want to cry.

Both of our MILs sound amazing and helpful and we should relax and accept there help (well I am not quite there yet).

 

 I'm really feeling for you right now!!  I made the decision not to work, despite our debt, and half the income.  The take home pay after the cost of day, and having strangers get to partially raise them, wasn't worth it to me.  Maybe I will go back after 6 months or a year, not too sure yet. 

scraw99

I felt the same way with my MIL and this caused a few arguments with DH. The babies and I had to move in with the in laws when they were were 3 weeks until 18 weeks of age (ugh) until we moved across the country.   I hated the way she fed the other baby (not that it was wrong, but it wasn't how I would do it), which drove me to breast feed them exclusively so I could feed both babies myself.  I'm glad I am not the only one who felt this way. . .