Oregon Babies
Going back to work.....
Ok, I have a question for you mamas who have gone back to work. How hard was it? I am comtemplating going back to work right now after being home for 9 months with Wren. We are at a place financially where I know that it is the best thing for our family but it feels like my heart is being ripped out when I think of being away from her that much. I am curious to hear how you coped or didn't;) What were the first few weeks like? Did it get better? Thanks ladies...
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Re: Going back to work.....
I dreaded going back to work when I was on leave. I was scared, DD was SO TINY still, I was worried that i would miss her tremendously and not be able to focus at work, I was worried she'd get sick all the time, etc. The anticipation was WAY worse than the reality.
I've been working part time since my DD was 10 weeks old. Honestly, it's never been "hard" for me. I really like my job, I have great daycare, and I know that I'm not cut out to be a SAHM. I have great health benefits through my job, I get awesome perks (free Blazers and concert tickets, fun travel, lots of nice dinners out, etc), and I make more than enough money to justify daycare. I feel like my working has also contributed to a happier marriage with my DH, we don't fight about chores or money, he doesn't "expect" for me to do all of the housework, make all the dinners, etc. I find that we have about a 60/40 balance, and it works really well for us. Also, me working has made me a better Mom. I look forward to my time with DD, it's never a case of "ugh I have to play with the baby again" or "I never get any time to myself".
I did a few "practice days" where I would drop her off at daycare before I went back to work, and I would go to the spa for the day, or get lunch with a girlfriend, or go to a movie, etc. That helped me to get used to the idea of leaving her with someone else, and made me really feel more comfortable with daycare. I'm a very emotional person and I cry a lot, and I haven't cried once about being a Working Mom. It's easy for me, and feels great. I love the balance that I have.
If you need to work for financial reasons, then I think you should. Check out the Working Moms board, I would say it's about 50/50 of women that "have to" work, vs women that "choose to" work.
I am a momma that is part "have to" and part "want to". While I wish that I could work part time it's just not in the cards.
Reasons I love being a working mom:
DS is great with other people. He is exposed to other babies, kids, and their parents. Other than a very brief "stranger danger" phase he is great with just about everyone. This may or not be attributed to DC, but I truly believe it has a lot to do with it.
DS sleeps ANYWHERE. He started sleeping better actually after he started daycare. he sleeps through doors opening, crying babies, and he sleeps like a rock at night after having so much interaction.
I love that I feel like I have an identity beyond being a mom. I feel like it make me feel empowered to be able to work and be a great mom.
I feel like I enjoy and appreciate my time with him SO much more than if I was with him 24/7. I think I started taking it for granted and borderline resenting him for "holding me back" in a way. We all know that everything is more involved when you have your baby with you. I LOVE being able to go out to lunch, shop, etc on my lunchbreak without taking into account naptime, diaper changes, etc.
Obviously the extra money if pretty fantastic too.
Let me know if you need to talk about it or need anything else!!!
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I went back to work after my 3 months off. I found the transition back to work to be smooth and pretty painless. I work three 10 hour days so i feel like I get more hours and pay in for the amount of days I end up getting off to be home with Raleigh. My husband works four 10 hour shifts so he is lucky to spend a good portion of his week home too. I definitely feel that it is rewarding to have a purpose outside the home, be able to socialize with my friends at work, and also contibute financially to the home. I feel like we are in a really great place in regards to managing our finances, having enough family time, and being able to have time and money for the "extras" that we want to do. My dad watches Raleigh one day week and beyond that we don't need daycare. I may have been more hesitant in the beginning if I had to entrust a stranger/daycare center to watch Raleigh, but once you find a good place I think our kids can really benefit from being active with other youngsters
Good luck with your decision!
I went back to work when DD was 7 months old. I had to go back financially, but I would have gone back anyway. I was so ready to use my brain and interact with adults. I was still very emotional and nervous about leaving DD, though. I agree with pp that the anticipation is worse than the real thing.
I work close to home, so I was able to nurse DD until she was one year old. So I didn?t need to pump! I also got to visit with her part way through my day. I was thankful to wean that feeding and be able to work though lunch, though, since I get more solid time at home.
There are the occasional rough good-byes, but she?s fine two minutes later. I am aware that DD spends half her waking hours away from me, but I find it has really made me appreciate our time together and it?s higher quality time as a result. If I had my way, I?d love to work around 0.6 FTE. Working full-time can be a lot to juggle. It can be hard to picture how it will all work, but eventually it becomes the routine and feels normal.
I?m lucky in that DH and my parents provide care for DD. It feels good knowing that she?s with family. But children can receive excellent care by others, too. I know so many kiddos who are happy at their daycares or with their nannies. Actually, sometimes we feel bad not having DD in daycare, because she is so social. I think she?d enjoy playing with the other kids.