Any negative doula experiences?

valeivegas

I'm really on the fence about hiring a doula.  This is my first so I really don't know what to expect - & am unsure how helpful the nurses will be.  I would like to have a natural birth but I'm also keeping an open mind in case the pain is unbearable for me.  My friends who've given birth at the same hosp. say the nurses are great & really help you - they think a doula would be a waste of $$.  Has anyone had a negative experience w/ a doula, or felt that she wasn't that helpful? 

Ivana_Stolichnaya

I didn't have a doula but the nurse who was with me during about 98% of the pushing was awesome!  She was calm and upbeat with 25 years of birthing experience.  It was the on-call Dr. who strolled in to catch the baby who was a POS.  So it really depends.  I wish I would have kicked the Dr. out of the room honestly, the nurse could have delivered Kaitlyn and I would have been fine with that.

plunderb

I wish I had had a doula during my unplanned c-section. The surgery was 2.5 hours long and none of the doctors or nurses would tell me what was going on, even when I asked. DH was off with the baby after the first 15 minutes, so I was all alone. I could have used someone to hold my hand.

pixieprincss

I have no real-life experience, but we plan on hiring a doula. Barring extreme circumstances, med-free and low intervention is important to us. So, a doula really makes sense for me. Here's some of my thought process...

First, I want to labor at home as long as possible and the doula can be part of that. Second, how are you at making decisions under great stress? What about your DH? The doula is the person there to represent your pre-labor hopes for the birth and remind you of those things--suggest different pain management strategies, remind you of the questions you should always ask before agreeing to an intervention that isn't life or death, etc. A nurse doesn't know you outside of labor--what your style normally is, what is important to you, etc. Since my DH's logic skills get very clouded during stress, I like the idea of that that calm third party who is there 100% to coach DH and I through representing our wishes when we are too tired, emotional, etc. to do so clearly on our own.

Nurses are wonderful, but simply by nature of their job and keeping good working relationships, it makes sense that they would lean toward going with the flow of the dr or common hospital policy rather than giving you 3 more strategies for delaying non-emergency intervention and that sort of thing.

UrbanHippieMama

I honestly don't really get the point of this question.  I'm sure some people have had a bad doula experience, just like some have had bad MW experiences, bad OB experiences, bad nurse experiences, bad homebirth experiences, bad hospital experiences, etc.  It should really have little to no bearing on your choice (unless you were planning to hire that same doula).  Figure out exactly what you want and go with that.  Call a couple of doulas and find out if what they offer is what you want.  If not, don't hire one.

WannaBeCrunchyMama

I haven't given birth yet. 

I was also REALLY on the fence about a doula. I'd heard how wonderful they were yada yada, but felt kinda weird about having a random person there.

When I signed up for our birth class (bradley because I don't want an epi) I found out the teacher was also a doula and if you took her class she offered free doula services (100 for class and doula)

I'm SO glad we are having her there. I've spent a lot of time researching the what-if's of birth and feel pretty educated. But she's so encouraging.

MOST likely your nurse will be wonderful, but honestly you never know till you get there.

I was with my sister for 2 of her 3 babies births. One of the nurses was HORRIBLE. She was rude, discouraging, and never gave a clear explanation to any question my sister had. It was very frustrating.

A doula is kind of like getting to chose one of your nurses, and guaranteeing you like her. She also is familiar with hospital policies etc. 

I'm so glad we're having a doula there. I feel very comfortable with her, and she has taught DH many techniques to help with pain while I'm in labor. I HIGHLY recommend a doula. Particularly if you want a med free birth.  

kbergo

Hi, Im from the second tri, but wanted to respond.  With my son, we hired a doula.  I had no choice but to go straight to the hospital when my water broke because there was meconium in it, so she came with and was there the entire time.  I was in labor, no drugs, for 20 hours, and then pushed for four hours before my son got stuck and was literally pushed back up for an emergency csection.  He was 9.9lbs (I was also two weeks overdue).  Anyways, the doula was a great doula, but a total waste of money for me.  I read Hypnobirthing, which helped a great deal, and my husband was AWESOME.  He basically did everything that a good doula would do, so there really wasnt a need for her.  It was nice that she updated my family, but that is it.  Again, it wasnt her abilities, it's just that my husband was so great through it all and it became such an intimate thing between him and I that she basically just stood there.  If you already have someone who is a great support and is willing to prepare with you, I dont think a doula is necessary.  If my husband couldnt be there, or wasnt as supportive as he was, then I would get one.  Also, the hospital I was in didnt even allow her into the csection--you can only take one family member in because of space, so obviously my husband went.  Although Im not sure what she could have done, since it happened very quickly (out of necessity).  When my son was wheeled away to NICU, dh went with him, but the nurses were very nice about reassuring me and keeping me company until I could join them.