Trying to decide on a BM situation (medication advice etc)

anangelbug

Two situations and we have to decide if we want to be shown 
(I will DD this later)

 1. Bi-racial baby, BM is 41, takes Keppra for siezures and percocet for pain.  A lot at risk, like $10,000 however she has placed a child for adoption and does not parent any of her 4 children.   Concern here is age, Downs and current medications.   Will get the blood panel first and will consent to an amnio if needed.  We can always back out but whatever expenses we have paid will be lost.

2. Cacuasion baby no drugs or alcohol, 34 yo, has 3 children (17, 11 & 4), $11,000 at risk, has never placed before.   Only real major concern here is changing her mind & losing  ELEVEN GRAND    

Both due in March.

 WWYD?

 Anyone with experience on the medications keppra or percocet (and she was on xanax but they switched her to percocet because she is pregnant so I imagine she did take xanax for a while

 This is so hard.  So exciting.. so many different emotions.

 

noonecarewhoiam

Keppra is actually preferred for women with epilepsy who want to become pregnant. That said, there is really no ethical way to prospectively assess drug safety in pregnant women.

Personally, I'd be more worried about the epilepsy, as there are some types of the disorder that have a very strong genetic component.

silliestbunny

So one has 10K at risk and one has 11K at risk?  Do either roll over to another situation?

I would be inclined to look at the drug and alcohol issues.

I have had three failed matches.  I'll tell you that two felt certain... on paper they looked great.  IMO- you really can't ever tell if it'll stick or not.  It's part of the adoption experience...unfortunately.

That said, I would not want that much money at risk.  We've lost money but most of our money is rolled into programs.  Whether or not we'll ever match through the agencies holding our money... who knows but it's easier to swallow knowing it's a possibility.

Good luck!

GLynn2009

Why is the second one placing her child?

On the first one do you know if the other children have ant health issues?

anangelbug

I guess she has siezures caused from a bad car accident (not hereditary), was hit by a semi and the percocet is for chronic pain. 

 The other 34 YO BM is giving hers up because she had a fling with her old high school sweet heart at a reunion, he has a family.. oops.   She has a boyfriend now.  She doesn't want to parent another child (has 3 already 17, 11, 4). BF has already signed off.

The 10K or 11K won't roll over. That is the living expenses and the money that is at risk.   Not really worried about the 10K because she has placed one child for adoption in the past and does not parent any of her children. She is currently living in a motel efficiency.  Its the keppra and percocet and AMA age that worries me. And she had one pregnancy with pre-eclampsia.

One is low risk in my eyes moneywise but high risk because of medications and age. The other one is no drugs or alchohol but maybe risky for changing her mind, I really don't know though.

This really is much harder than I expected.  And March feels like so far away.

JOEBunny

DS is a foreseeable risk, so I don't see that as a problem. 

You can call poison control and ask about the meds.  I was on meds with my son and the doctors, even the OB don't know much about the interaction.  They all just say, "no data or "it is a class C drug (no studies)", unfortunately, "no" was not an option for me, so I did a lot of research.  The poison control group had a specialist who knew more about drug interactions in pregnant and lactating women than any doctor or pharmacist I could find. 

alisonemma

I am personally very risk averse when it comes to money, so I think I would choose #1, but I would want to know the amnio results.

KatieTheMagnificent

You can also call the InfantRisk Center and see if they have any information about the medications (I'm sure they will, Dr. Hale's pretty amazing) ... (806) 352 2519 or https://www.infantrisk.org/ ... it's what they do.   

anangelbug

KatieTheMagnificent:

You can also call the InfantRisk Center and see if they have any information about the medications (I'm sure they will, Dr. Hale's pretty amazing) ... (806) 352 2519 or https://www.infantrisk.org/ ... it's what they do.   

 Thanks, I will definitely check this out and the poison control also

anangelbug

Thanks everyone, I appreciate the info/advice/opinions.

There is no reason to think she will change her mind. I am just scared about a failed match with such a high dollor amount at risk.  She has 3 other kids and says she doesn't want to parent again and this was a fling with someone that already has a family.  I think it's hard for someone like me, who wants a baby more than anything, to belive that there is someone out there that will give up a baby.   She was reffered to this attorney by a girlf friend / BM who also placed with this firm.

 We have decided to be shown to her on Monday.  If we are not picked by her we are still thinking the other one over (the 41 YO taking the medications) I will research the meds more and call some of the numbers you all recommended.  

Thanks again ladies   Fingers crossed!