"If you were a deer....

cchill01

you would have died in the woods."

I am so sick of hearing this quote from my family and others.  It makes me feel so inadequate.  Especially, because I have doubts about my "failure to progress" diagnosis.   

Anyone else get gems like these about their c-sections?

margeincharge2

My jaw actually dropped reading this post. I cannot imagine anyone ever saying this to me. I'm sorry your family has said that to you. Why would they do that???

I think the worst I get are those who don't understand my pain and say that all that matters is a healthy baby and mom, thus furthering my guilt for not being anything but thrilled about DS's birth.

papagena

Um, no.  And honestly I'd probably have to come back to that person with "well, if you were a deer I'd be tempted to get my hunting license."  What an incredibly stupid and hurtful thing to say.

Like I said, I haven't ever been told that, but I will admit, I have my own doubts about my body's capability to have kept DS and I safe, which kind of tears me apart.  Hate those!  Internal doubts are bad enough - why would people think of trying to reinforce them.  Ugh...

Harper'smom

papagena:

Um, no.  And honestly I'd probably have to come back to that person with "well, if you were a deer I'd be tempted to get my hunting license."  What an incredibly stupid and hurtful thing to say.

Like I said, I haven't ever been told that, but I will admit, I have my own doubts about my body's capability to have kept DS and I safe, which kind of tears me apart.  Hate those!  Internal doubts are bad enough - why would people think of trying to reinforce them.  Ugh...

 

Edit: not sure whythe above was quoted :-)

I've gotten the "well you didn't experience REAL labor" thing several times and it makes my head spin around. Ummm actually I did, not that it matters or not, from about 4pm until 12:00pm the next day. The 6 inch scar that came with my not so real labor is just for looks because C-sections are sooooo easy.

Luv4Minnesota

I don't know your birth story, but if anyone were to say that to me I would tell them that if I were a deer in the woods I would not have been pumped full of pitocin and made to push on my back. 

babyike

Luv4Minnesota:

I don't know your birth story, but if anyone were to say that to me I would tell them that if I were a deer in the woods I would not have been pumped full of pitocin and made to push on my back. 

iris427

WTF, I can't believe people have said that to you.

I've had a few gems.  One of my friends, who had been really supportive and tried to help me prepare for my natural birth, told me after my c/s that I "just don't have child-bearing hips."

And one of my parents told me "You having a c/s was a foregone conclusion.  Everyone knew it except you."

A$$holes. 

jen5-03

O.M.G.

No, no one has ever said anything like that to me.

I don't know your story, but fwiw, I was "failure to progress" after 19 hours of labor. I'm pretty sure my diagnosis should have been "failure of OB's patience" or "OB's desire to go home trumps vaginal birth"... because my VBAC took 29 hours.

Lesley0228

Wow, what an awful thing to say. I'm sorry that people are saying that to you.

I was discussing with my mom today that I question my narrow pelvis diagnosis and while she is usually supportive when I discuss wanting a vbac, today she busted into a rant about my older sister's emergency c-section birth for fetal distress after failure to descend. I understand that was traumatic for her, but I failed to see how the two things were related. It made me realize that she is probably holding her tongue typically when I mention vbacs, though she has before told me "thats just how things were done back then" when discussing my scheduled c-section.