Apparently, we're BSC

Ceefome

Towards the bottom of the responses and onto page 2.  Link

 ETA - fixed the link to the correct post.  Sorry.

Strawberrywine

I'll wear my label with pride.

papagena

Hmmm??  Is that the right link?  There's no pg 2, and no BSC VBACers.

JG362009

What does BSC mean?

iris427

Here's the right link

https://community.thebump.com/cs/ks/forums/2/44835368/ShowThread.aspx

 

And yeah, LOL.  It was only a matter of time before this board got called BSC.   I don't really care if people judge me for wanting a VBAC or a med-free birth.  They can do what they want for their births and I'll do what I want for mine.

iris427

PeanutShell09:

hmm... I don't think VBACers are BSC but I do think some women place a lot of significance on not having the perfect experience.  Obivously some experiences are worse than others but sometimes you just need to come to terms with not be able to control everything. 

I think needing counseling after a C-section is probably indicative of a deeper issue- JMO. 

I think this board is very helpful for anyone considering VBAC 

Yeah I agree with this.  But I also feel like there is no right or wrong way to feel about your birth and I do believe that childbirth can be a traumatic experience for some people, whether it's vaginal or cesarean.

I'm trying not to have any expectations of the perfect birth this time.  It's hard to balance positive thinking with being realistic that it might not go the way I want, at least for me. 

nosoup4u

Oh, LCB, she's such a pill. I think anyone who's that openly dismissive about other people's lives is BSC. And to also not acknowledge that there's a direct connection between interventions causing c-sections is just dim.

I didn't have a horrible c-section experience with DS, but he was in the NICU and the hospital for a week after birth, and the combo of both those things seriously messed me up. And I'm only realizing how freaking unhappy I was with him when he was a newborn bc I'm so much happier this time around. Believe me, I didn't choose to have such a hard time after my section, it just happened...

iris427

nosoup4u:

Oh, LCB, she's such a pill. I think anyone who gets that openly dismissive about other people's lives is BSC. And to also not acknowledge that there's a direct connection between interventions causing c-sections is just dim.

I didn't have a horrible c-section with DS, but he was in the NICU and the hospital for a week after birth, and the combo of both those things seriously messed me up. And I'm only realizing how freaking unhappy I was with him bc I'm so much happier this time around. Believe me, I didn't choose to have such a hard time after my section, it just happened...

Well obv you just needed to get over it faster

babyike

That post is an absolute train wreck.  *slwhatley* made a post on the top of the first page about "have a med-free c-section, and then I'll be impressed" (paraphrasing here)...

Really??  Well, my epidural didn't take, so I did have a med-free c-section.  It was/still is the worst living nightmare I've ever experienced.  As you ladies on this board know... not every c-section is textbook and medically necessary.   My OB even said there was no medical emergency causing me to need a c/s, but thanks to the shittastic on-call OB I had the prior 20+ hours of labor (intervention after intervention after intervention) it was c/s time due to prolonged rupture of membranes.

slw-whatever your SN is... BITE ME.

Ladydianna

Ok I just finished reading that ridiculously pointless post but I still don't know what BSC is.  Someone help me out please!

iris427

Ladydianna:

Ok I just finished reading that ridiculously pointless post but I still don't know what BSC is.  Someone help me out please!

Bat sh!t crazy 

Ladydianna

Thanks.  I knew it was something along those lines! 

margeincharge2

PeanutShell09:

hmm... I don't think VBACers are BSC but I do think some women place a lot of significance on not having the perfect experience.  Obivously some experiences are worse than others but sometimes you just need to come to terms with not be able to control everything. 

I think needing counseling after a C-section is probably indicative of a deeper issue- JMO. 

You have no idea what you're talking about. I had a very traumatic birth with HELLP and potentially very severe life threatening complications. By no means did I expect a perfect birth but I did not expect what happened to me.

One doesn't usually expect doctors to tell you that they have to get the baby out right away to save your life. Or that it's unsafe for you to even have an epidural because you might bleed uncontrollably or to prepare you for the possibility of needing a blood transfusion on the operating table because they might not be able to stop the bleeding. Most people also don't imagine not being awake for the birth of their child. And most people don't often hear doctors tell them after the fact that "they were really worried about you" for a while there because your blood clotting factor kept getting worse. Most women's birth experiences are filled with such fear.

You have that happen to you and then come back to me and tell me I have deeper underlying issues and that I just need to get over not being in control. Birth trauma and PTSD from birth are very real. Before giving birth I don't think I could have imagined feeling this way.

But even without those complications, I think any woman has a right to be upset about having a c/s when they hoped for a vaginal birth.

But attitudes like "they have deeper issues" and the linked post here just perpetuate unnecessary judgement for how women feel about their births. I guess they should all just shut up and deal with it and be happy they have healthy babies because that's all that matters. I don't tell other people how they should feel about giving birth so don't tell me how I should feel about mine. Birth is such an immensely personal experience that I wouldn't dream of telling another woman that she should just deal with not being in control. It is such a more complex and emotional issue than that.

Mrs.tlcS

I've seen her before.  Why do I know that poster?

I bet she has pretty hair.

JG362009

Ladydianna:

Thanks.  I knew it was something along those lines! 

 

You're much smarter than I am!  The best I could come up with is "big stinking crybaby."  I'm so lame.   

iris427

margeincharge2:

PeanutShell09:

hmm... I don't think VBACers are BSC but I do think some women place a lot of significance on not having the perfect experience.  Obivously some experiences are worse than others but sometimes you just need to come to terms with not be able to control everything. 

I think needing counseling after a C-section is probably indicative of a deeper issue- JMO. 

You have no idea what you're talking about. I had a very traumatic birth with HELLP and potentially very severe life threatening complications. By no means did I expect a perfect birth but I did not expect what happened to me.

One doesn't usually expect doctors to tell you that they have to get the baby out right away to save your life. Or that it's unsafe for you to even have an epidural because you might bleed uncontrollably or to prepare you for the possibility of needing a blood transfusion on the operating table because they might not be able to stop the bleeding. Most people also don't imagine not being awake for the birth of their child. And most people don't often hear doctors tell them after the fact that "they were really worried about you" for a while there because your blood clotting factor kept getting worse. Most women's birth experiences are filled with such fear.

You have that happen to you and then come back to me and tell me I have deeper underlying issues and that I just need to get over not being in control. Birth trauma and PTSD from birth are very real. Before giving birth I don't think I could have imagined feeling this way.

But even without those complications, I think any woman has a right to be upset about having a c/s when they hoped for a vaginal birth.

But attitudes like "they have deeper issues" and the linked post here just perpetuate unnecessary judgement for how women feel about their births. I guess they should all just shut up and deal with it and be happy they have healthy babies because that's all that matters. I don't tell other people how they should feel about giving birth so don't tell me how I should feel about mine. Birth is such an immensely personal experience that I wouldn't dream of telling another woman that she should just deal with not being in control. It is such a more complex and emotional issue than that.

Marge, I seriously love you. 

PTSD and trauma from birth are real and I don't think it always means there are deeper issues.  I would like to see more support and compassion for women who had tough births like you did.

But I also think birth can touch on other issues for a woman as well.  At least in my personal experience, my feelings about my c/s did not occur in a vacuum.  They were in the context of other things in my life.  So I had to work through that to help myself feel better about my c/s and in that sense there were "deeper issues."  Does that make sense?

margeincharge2

Iris- The feeling is mutual. I feel like most of your posts I don't even need to add more but I do anyway. lol

I do see what you're meaning. I guess I took the comment to mean that women who have issues from birth suffer from "deeper issues" like they were/are emotionally unstable to begin with.

I definitely see how one feels about their birth is affected by other things that have happened in their life. Childbirth definitely doesn't happen in a vacuum. We certainly bring to it our own hopes and experiences. Id be interested in hearing (offline perhaps) what things from your past have affected you, if you feel like it sometime.

I am happy that there are women who are fine with their c/s's and who are fine with repeat c/s's. I just don't get why the other side cares so much about how we feel.

spark&echo

iris427:

margeincharge2:

PeanutShell09:

hmm... I don't think VBACers are BSC but I do think some women place a lot of significance on not having the perfect experience.  Obivously some experiences are worse than others but sometimes you just need to come to terms with not be able to control everything. 

I think needing counseling after a C-section is probably indicative of a deeper issue- JMO. 

You have no idea what you're talking about. I had a very traumatic birth with HELLP and potentially very severe life threatening complications. By no means did I expect a perfect birth but I did not expect what happened to me.

One doesn't usually expect doctors to tell you that they have to get the baby out right away to save your life. Or that it's unsafe for you to even have an epidural because you might bleed uncontrollably or to prepare you for the possibility of needing a blood transfusion on the operating table because they might not be able to stop the bleeding. Most people also don't imagine not being awake for the birth of their child. And most people don't often hear doctors tell them after the fact that "they were really worried about you" for a while there because your blood clotting factor kept getting worse. Most women's birth experiences are filled with such fear.

You have that happen to you and then come back to me and tell me I have deeper underlying issues and that I just need to get over not being in control. Birth trauma and PTSD from birth are very real. Before giving birth I don't think I could have imagined feeling this way.

But even without those complications, I think any woman has a right to be upset about having a c/s when they hoped for a vaginal birth.

But attitudes like "they have deeper issues" and the linked post here just perpetuate unnecessary judgement for how women feel about their births. I guess they should all just shut up and deal with it and be happy they have healthy babies because that's all that matters. I don't tell other people how they should feel about giving birth so don't tell me how I should feel about mine. Birth is such an immensely personal experience that I wouldn't dream of telling another woman that she should just deal with not being in control. It is such a more complex and emotional issue than that.

Marge, I seriously love you. 

PTSD and trauma from birth are real and I don't think it always means there are deeper issues.  I would like to see more support and compassion for women who had tough births like you did.

But I also think birth can touch on other issues for a woman as well.  At least in my personal experience, my feelings about my c/s did not occur in a vacuum.  They were in the context of other things in my life.  So I had to work through that to help myself feel better about my c/s and in that sense there were "deeper issues."  Does that make sense?

I love you too, Marge!  And Iris, I know what you're talking about.  Birth trauma is real.  I should know - I went through it!  Granted, mine didn't occur in a vacuum either.  

I had zero expectations for my son's birth.  I didn't have a birth plan.  I knew that being induced could end up in a c/s.  I thought that no matter how he was born, it was getting the baby that mattered - not the experience.  And yes, the baby does matter, but so does the experience.  My son's birth was devastating, and it wasn't because I have control issues.  My husband and I truly thought that both my son and I were going to die.  You don't come back from that the same person as you were going in.  

margeincharge2

PeanutShell09:

I don't know how to respond to posts above... So I will just say I did not intend to diminish any actual birth trauma. Apparently my post did not convey accurately what I was meaning but I would have appreciated it if others asked for clarification instead of assuming I'm insensitive to that.

As a PP said, Birth is extremely personal experience.  

Fair enough. My response was definitely clouded having read the nightmare on 3rd tri post and it seemed in that same vein. I would like to hear what you meant by your comments.

Gina1221

I couldn't even read that whole thread because it was so ridiculous that it made my head hurt... and I'm too tired to explain how disturbing to me some of those comments were, so thanks margeincharge2, for making a rational explanation : )

CherryStarburst

Gina1221:

I couldn't even read that whole thread because it was so ridiculous that it made my head hurt... and I'm too tired to explain how disturbing to me some of those comments were, so thanks margeincharge2, for making a rational explanation : )

This!  I couldn't read past the first page of comments it was making me so upset. 

spark&echo

PeanutShell09:

I don't know how to respond to posts above... So I will just say I did not intend to diminish any actual birth trauma. Apparently my post did not convey accurately what I was meaning but I would have appreciated it if others asked for clarification instead of assuming I'm insensitive to that.

As a PP said, Birth is extremely personal experience.  

I wasn't offended per se, but what you said originally did stick out to me.  Feel free to clarify, and sorry for jumping to conclusions! 

papagena

Instead of waiting for a VBAC or natural birth badge, I'm now tempted to find a "I'm better than you because I'm not an idiot" badge....  Sorry - my sense of humor is rather lacking tonight.

funchicken

Trainwreck is an understatement--I couldn't even read all the responses.

I have 2 friends who had successful vbacs, and they were sooo happy.  I also had a friend who was given a c-section at 36 weeks for IUGR that turned out to be misdiagnosed--she had a really hard time dealing with that, and I can't blame her.

I love coming on here and reading the vbac stories--I wish all of you the best of luck!

Ladydianna

When I went into my 37 weeks appointment and was told that I was fully effaced and 3 cm dialated I was thrilled.  I thought that meant that I was going to have the natural (unmedicated) birth I had prepared myself for. We took a Bradley Class, I took a prenatal Yoga class, and I read every book I could get my hands on.

After my u/s 1/2 an hour later. when they told me my right kidney was completely dialated and my left was 75 %  as well as dd's being 50%.  DH and I decided I would have a csec the next day.  It was the safest option for me and my baby.  I could've chosen to be induced, but knowing that induction's increase the rate of csec, and knowing we were already at a higher risk. We chose to have the surgery.  I cried the whole night and most of the next day. 

I had my beautiful healthy baby girl, but I couldn't see her for two hours.  I worried about BF, because I wasn't able to do it right away.  I worried about the nurses giving her a pacifier or a bottle even though I had given written and verbal instructions not to.

The end result was absolutely worth it.  But I am Not BSC b/c I am still upset about the way it turned out.

CherryStarburst

papagena:

Instead of waiting for a VBAC or natural birth badge, I'm now tempted to find a "I'm better than you because I'm not an idiot" badge....  Sorry - my sense of humor is rather lacking tonight.

Haha! that's awesome:)

I felt like responding with a very sarcastic, "yeah, the reason I went through all that pain of labor and delivery, unmedicated, and spent all that time reading and researching, was just so I could brag to my friends and random strangers about it." give me a break.

CherryStarburst

papagena:

Instead of waiting for a VBAC or natural birth badge, I'm now tempted to find a "I'm better than you because I'm not an idiot" badge....  Sorry - my sense of humor is rather lacking tonight.

Haha! that's awesome:)

I felt like responding with a very sarcastic, "yeah, the reason I went through all that pain of labor and delivery, unmedicated, and spent all that time reading and researching, was just so I could brag to my friends and random strangers about it." give me a break.

cchill01

margeincharge2:

You have no idea what you're talking about. I had a very traumatic birth with HELLP and potentially very severe life threatening complications. By no means did I expect a perfect birth but I did not expect what happened to me.

One doesn't usually expect doctors to tell you that they have to get the baby out right away to save your life. Or that it's unsafe for you to even have an epidural because you might bleed uncontrollably or to prepare you for the possibility of needing a blood transfusion on the operating table because they might not be able to stop the bleeding. Most people also don't imagine not being awake for the birth of their child. And most people don't often hear doctors tell them after the fact that "they were really worried about you" for a while there because your blood clotting factor kept getting worse. Most women's birth experiences are filled with such fear.

You have that happen to you and then come back to me and tell me I have deeper underlying issues and that I just need to get over not being in control. Birth trauma and PTSD from birth are very real. Before giving birth I don't think I could have imagined feeling this way.

But even without those complications, I think any woman has a right to be upset about having a c/s when they hoped for a vaginal birth.

But attitudes like "they have deeper issues" and the linked post here just perpetuate unnecessary judgement for how women feel about their births. I guess they should all just shut up and deal with it and be happy they have healthy babies because that's all that matters. I don't tell other people how they should feel about giving birth so don't tell me how I should feel about mine. Birth is such an immensely personal experience that I wouldn't dream of telling another woman that she should just deal with not being in control. It is such a more complex and emotional issue than that.

Agree completely.  These are the same idiots who are dismissive of all mental illness. 

My birth wasn't nearly as traumatic as yours, but I have regrets and fears that I think about often.

GypsyEsq

I'm glad this board is here.  I'm not particularly fond of the opinion in that thread that somehow we're BSC because we're disappointed in our birth experiences but mainly I'm just glad that there is a board where rational discussions about birthing choices can occur.  Also I think that there was really one only poster saying we were BSC and well...she's a little BSC herself. 

JoelsGirl07

papagena:

Instead of waiting for a VBAC or natural birth badge, I'm now tempted to find a "I'm better than you because I'm not an idiot" badge....  Sorry - my sense of humor is rather lacking tonight.

If you find it, let me know. We all should get one of those!

babyike

slwhatley:

babyike:

That post is an absolute train wreck.  *slwhatley* made a post on the top of the first page about "have a med-free c-section, and then I'll be impressed" (paraphrasing here)...

Really??  Well, my epidural didn't take, so I did have a med-free c-section.  It was/still is the worst living nightmare I've ever experienced.  As you ladies on this board know... not every c-section is textbook and medically necessary.   My OB even said there was no medical emergency causing me to need a c/s, but thanks to the shittastic on-call OB I had the prior 20+ hours of labor (intervention after intervention after intervention) it was c/s time due to prolonged rupture of membranes.

slw-whatever your SN is... BITE ME.

::bites::
LOL @ not being able to take a joke.

Wonderful response.  Good to know what a caring person you are...

And BTW... what a sad and pathetic attempt at making a joke.  I would never even think about wishing the pain of an unmedicated c-section on anyone else.  Never.

Now go back to your own little sheltered and perfect world.