bitter

AmyRM

It's just how I feel today. I know I could get flamed for crying about all the BFP announcements lately on TTCAL, but I'm just pissed off, sick & tired, of.it.all. I don't want to see any more. I want to be happy for my friends, my buddies, and everyone on this horrible fvcking road but I just can't. I feel defeated, and jealous - and I just don't want to hear anything else about hope. I hate hope and I'm exhausted from hurling so much of it lately - for nothing.

I'm tired of these ups and downs, the waiting, the fvcking charts that mean nothing, everything. It's become so complicated. I hate this.

I can't even scroll through the pages, lurk or whatever without feeling bitter. 

8 days until I see a fertility OB and all I can think about is why, why, why...why. 

/vent...

jcath

I'm sorry. {{hugs}} I'm feeling awfully bitter lately too.  Sometimes it helps to just give into the feeling for a little while.  I hope the new Dr gives you a plan.

damabo80

Hugs.

I did feel a sense of renewed hope and optimism after our first RE appointment. It felt like we were finally moving in a direction...the right direction.

I hope your meeting with your fertility OB (is that like a Canadian RE?...pardon the ignorant American here ) gives you that sense of peace and hope too.

AmyRM

jcath:

I'm sorry. {{hugs}} I'm feeling awfully bitter lately too.  Sometimes it helps to just give into the feeling for a little while.  I hope the new Dr gives you a plan.

I think that's exactly where I am, and "happy" to be - if that makes any sense. Foul suits me these days.

Thanks :

AmyRM

damabo80:

Hugs.

I did feel a sense of renewed hope and optimism after our first RE appointment. It felt like we were finally moving in a direction...the right direction.

I hope your meeting with your fertility OB (is that like a Canadian RE?...pardon the ignorant American here ) gives you that sense of peace and hope too.

Hee hee. Yup, I gather it's the same sort of thing. He's an OB, but does nothing but "infertility" junk. *sigh*

I have no idea what to expect and have decided not to get excited at all - about any of it. I'll call it an "educational experience" ..

jcath

AmyRM:

jcath:

I'm sorry. {{hugs}} I'm feeling awfully bitter lately too.  Sometimes it helps to just give into the feeling for a little while.  I hope the new Dr gives you a plan.

I think that's exactly where I am, and "happy" to be - if that makes any sense. Foul suits me these days.

Thanks :

I'll just hold your hand and be bitter and spiteful with you.

RunSchwartzRun

I'm sorry.  I hate hate hate this for you.  (((hugs))) 

You know I am here (and TTCAL, and FB, and everywhere!) if you need to vent.  I hope the specialist gives you some information and makes you feel in control again as much as possible.

AmyRM

RunSchwartzRun:

I'm sorry.  I hate hate hate this for you.  (((hugs))) 

You know I am here (and TTCAL, and FB, and everywhere!) if you need to vent.  I hope the specialist gives you some information and makes you feel in control again as much as possible.

I know..and THANK YOU...thank goodness for you, and Schwartz... *SMILE*

I was mid-composing a FB message to you earlier when I got distracted by making stupid photoshopped pictures of Claire (who turns two on Saturday). I couldn't think of anything to say but crabby whining stuff and I didn't want to get you down.

RunSchwartzRun

AmyRM:

RunSchwartzRun:

I'm sorry.  I hate hate hate this for you.  (((hugs))) 

You know I am here (and TTCAL, and FB, and everywhere!) if you need to vent.  I hope the specialist gives you some information and makes you feel in control again as much as possible.

I know..and THANK YOU...thank goodness for you, and Schwartz... *SMILE*

I was mid-composing a FB message to you earlier when I got distracted by making stupid photoshopped pictures of Claire (who turns two on Saturday). I couldn't think of anything to say but crabby whining stuff and I didn't want to get you down.

Don't be silly.  Crab and whine all you want!!  Gah, what do you think I am here for? I just feel bad because words seem inadequate and all I can say over and over is "I understand" or "this sucks."  ((hugs))

ETA: That pic of Claire rolling in the cake killed me.  LOL for real.  Hahaha.

AmyRM

RunSchwartzRun:

AmyRM:

RunSchwartzRun:

I'm sorry.  I hate hate hate this for you.  (((hugs))) 

You know I am here (and TTCAL, and FB, and everywhere!) if you need to vent.  I hope the specialist gives you some information and makes you feel in control again as much as possible.

I know..and THANK YOU...thank goodness for you, and Schwartz... *SMILE*

I was mid-composing a FB message to you earlier when I got distracted by making stupid photoshopped pictures of Claire (who turns two on Saturday). I couldn't think of anything to say but crabby whining stuff and I didn't want to get you down.

Don't be silly.  Crab and whine all you want!!  Gah, what do you think I am here for? I just feel bad because words seem inadequate and all I can say over and over is "I understand" or "this sucks."  ((hugs))

ETA: That pic of Claire rolling in the cake killed me.  LOL for real.  Hahaha.

  You're the best. Have I said that lately? Thank you. It does suck, but having you (and others) understand does actually lift some of the weight of the whine. Arrghh..it's just all so frustrating.

Yeah, I um...need a life. If I had a baby I wouldn't have time to photoshop pictures of my dog rolling on cakes...pshaw. (but I would anyway...) hee hee heee

RunSchwartzRun

AmyRM:

RunSchwartzRun:

AmyRM:

RunSchwartzRun:

I'm sorry.  I hate hate hate this for you.  (((hugs))) 

You know I am here (and TTCAL, and FB, and everywhere!) if you need to vent.  I hope the specialist gives you some information and makes you feel in control again as much as possible.

I know..and THANK YOU...thank goodness for you, and Schwartz... *SMILE*

I was mid-composing a FB message to you earlier when I got distracted by making stupid photoshopped pictures of Claire (who turns two on Saturday). I couldn't think of anything to say but crabby whining stuff and I didn't want to get you down.

Don't be silly.  Crab and whine all you want!!  Gah, what do you think I am here for? I just feel bad because words seem inadequate and all I can say over and over is "I understand" or "this sucks."  ((hugs))

ETA: That pic of Claire rolling in the cake killed me.  LOL for real.  Hahaha.

  You're the best. Have I said that lately? Thank you. It does suck, but having you (and others) understand does actually lift some of the weight of the whine. Arrghh..it's just all so frustrating.

Yeah, I um...need a life. If I had a baby I wouldn't have time to photoshop pictures of my dog rolling on cakes...pshaw. (but I would anyway...) hee hee heee

Right back at ya!  I think you are the best. 

And I am sure you mean you wouldn't have time to JUST photoshop pictures of your dog.  You would also need to make time to photosop one of the baby rolling in cake.  Dur.

butterfly843

Sending ((hugs)), I have been feeling much more bitter lately as I approach the 1yr anniversary of losing my twins. Seeing all the bfp's just make me feel that everyone is going to move on and I will just be stuck here and never get my take home baby.

Gummybear

I def. feel bitter. And I don't know if it was always that way, or I am just extra sensitive but the amount of posts about excessive MF and signs and symptoms and being pg. like RIGHT NOW and being devastated after one cycle are really bothering me now. I don't want to mean since the problem is me and not other posters, and that is what the board is for and they aren't doing anything wrong, but I can't even be active today.

CashewsMommy

((((hugs))))

I completely understand what you are saying and where you are coming from! You know I'm always here for you too if you need to vent.

bbhalphen

<--Very bitter betty here.  No judgement from me.

Olive44

I'm sorry, hon.  I can definitely relate.  I'm feeling super bitter these days considering every dr. appt. I've been to in the last 3 months, I've gotten bad news.  I just wonder if things are ever going to turn around.  (((hugs)))

AutumnLeavesFall

I wrote this same exact post to Jillcanada yesterday in a PM.

I am so bitter, I am happy for my friends who get to move on but so sad that it's not my turn and possibly never will be.

I'm also with Gummy, I want to tear the other board to shreads with the stupid implantation dip and temp drop questions.. my god stop posting every little thing about your chart you still got 4-5 days before AF might show than what.. you going to start posting about cd1.. grrr

 

KristysRedBarn

Hugs.

b2b999

Bitter - I feel you. BFP jealousy - yup got that too. Hopeless and tired - yeah. 

I think that's why most of the ladies here are here instead of TTCAL because it just becomes to damn depressing.  

Orchard27

~big hugs~ this is all totally svcky.  This process completely screws with you.

millejj1

I'm so sorry. Hugs!

jillcanada

I sometimes think I mistake the word bitter for sadness. Along with this sadness comes a stinging, hard to bear pain that makes me heavy hearted.

 

csquared426

((HUGS)) I'm so sorry you're feeling that way. We're here for you. I hope your doc can give you some answers.

Daisy07gray

So sorry.  It sucks & there's enough bitterness going around half the world seems pregnant and ignorant and assumes that a beautiful baby shows up 9 months later, the other have (also pregnant) hide their news like we won't notice a new stroller mysteriously rolling along in front of them.  Sick of waiting for it to be us. 

Izabella22

Nosing in from ttcal. Sorry Amy I saw your post and just wanted to say you definitely aren't the only person who feels depressingly bitter (though I agree w/ Jill I think sad is the real word). *HUGS* And I hate what ttcal has become lately, its just doesn't feel like a safe place to go and seek comfort and support, which is unfortunate.