Need advice: I don't think I'm cut out being pg and a mom

amanda&rob

(  I am struggling.  Bad. and I'm only 6 weeks in.  I've been on the verge of having afternoon sickness (you know praying that I will throw up so the almost feeling will go away) for a few days.  And after lunch I get so tired.  Like, if I sit, I nod off.  But if I stand and do things I feel so sick.

Anyhow my patience is shorter than ><.  I yelled at dd 3 times yesterday pretty badly.  She even cried one of the times and I felt horrible-but honestly not until 10 minutes later!  I just wanted to lay there and it was like she wouldn't let me and I was so angry about it!  But looking back at it, of course she wasn't letting me lay down.  Because when do I ever do that!  Typing it out it sounds so dumb! 

 So, how in the world do you handle pregnancy and have patience when you have another kid.  I cried twice yesterday bc I didn't think I was cut out for it.  I need some tips!  

goodheartedmommy

Just want to offer hugs. I don't really have advice--being a mom and pregnant was really hard on me. Hang in there.

Brewster

Being pregnant with a little one was MUCH more difficult for me than actually having a newborn and a little one.  You just have to push through.  Sadly, the TV was on a lot during my second pregnancy and my husband did as much with my son as possible.  It's hard.  Just do whatever you can to get through the day.  Good luck! 

Lantaria

I am right there with you.  I am a great Mom when I am not pregnant.   I am a cranky and stressed out Mom while I am pregnant.  This is our last baby and I am so excited that I will never be pregnant again!

jettagurl

Does she know yet that you're pg?  

I was horribly sick (even spent 3 days in the hospital) when I was pg with DD and Ben was only about 12 mos old at the time.  I spent a lot of time on the floor with him.  I could lay down there (maybe get a bunch of pillows) and read books, play with blocks, dive cars, etc.

I think at M's age, she'd understand somewhat that Mommy doesn't feel good.  Maybe make a big trip to the store for some craft stuff (paper, safety scissors, stick glue, puff balls, googly eyes, pipe cleaners, etc) and then maybe you can at least sit at the table, or hang out on the floor with her to do those things.  Maybe buy a ton of books that you can read while you/her lay on the couch....or hit up the library  for a bunch (we can check out 75 books at a time!).  

Get some fun movies....my kids love the LeapFrog Letter Factory (and I think there's a Word Factory)...so even though it's movie, they're still learning.

Do you have friends that could come by in the afternoons?  You could hang out with the other mom while the kids play (and M gets worn out!).

GL.  I know it stinks, but hopefully it's a fleeting feeling,  

Zenya

it's probably the last thing you want to do but keep busy!  I made plans all the time.  I felt horrible.  Worse with this one (my 3rd).  But keeping busy was the only way for me.

 

AngelaSue

Hugs to you. My patience always seemed shorter during my last three pregnancies. Especially towards the end . With this last one my two older kids understood when I was tired or not feeling well and they'd let me rest if Adeline was napping. Hang in there.

joy143dh

I can't imagine how tired you must be.   I will say, however, looking at your H'ween pictures, it looks like you are doing better than you may think.  Your DD looks happy.  I'm sure you feel awful for yelling, but she'll be ok.  

Is there an area of the house that you can set her up with fun toys?  DS has an "art cart" that I put in the diningroom when I feel he is pushing my buttons.  Distraction. (Plus, it falls under DH's area of cleaning - hehe)

My mom always told me to count to 10 before reacting to something if my blood is boiling.    Sometimes I just react, but I have been trying to make an effort to count to 10 before blowing up.   Plus, DS sees me counting and I think that gets him more scared than my actual yelling.

And when my patience is at the thinnest, SuperWhy and AstroBoy On Demand comes to the rescue.

Keep your head up.  You're a good mom.

MsKellDel

I am struggling a lot with this pregnancy as well. I think it's all overwhelming me and then comes out in my parenting.  I feel like crap most of the day, can't eat or enjoy anything, my body aches, my sleep is off due to anxiety, i hate my job, when I am home with DH and the boys, I have zero patience and so easily fly off the handle, i cry 2-3 times a day..it all just builds up. I had an appt yesterdayand my doc suggested I go back on prozac so I am going to try that out and see how it goes.

For now, I just try to get through the day and smile and laugh with my kids as much as possible. And just keep hoping that it will get better. good luck to you!

shopgirl78

I agree.  It is very hard being pregnant with a LO.   I remember having a short temper and just wanting to rest too.   I remember being the most tired with DS1.   When I got home from work, I would sometimes just put a movie on and let DD watch it.  Luckily, she is a TV junkie.   While it was DS and DD, I would let them play outside in the fenced back yard.   I also laid down a lot on the ground and played during the first half of pregnancy.  The second trimester gets easier, the third not so much.  But I also found it easier to have a NB and a toddler than being pregnant.  I remember feeling like a load was lifted off of me when DS1 was born.   I remember playing on the floor with DD and thought I hadn't done this in monhts! You can get through this!!

[Deleted User]

The user and all related content has been deleted.

mamarazzi

It's tough.  It got better for me a few weeks into the second trimester, but I was hanging on by a thread before that.  I was nauseous all day and doing too much made me throw up and then I felt even worse.  I was exhausted and cranky.  I definitely lost my sh!t more than I would have liked over the course of those 12 weeks.

I told my three year old that I was sick and he was pretty good about playing independently and helping entertain his brother.  DS2 was about 18 months when I got pregnant and he's a big snuggler, so I just spent a lot of time lying around with him.

At your DD's age, I'd just try to find activities to keep you busy -- crafts, movie time, playdates, etc. 

Hang in there. 

DandelionMom

(((hugs)))  Lots of activities will help -- especially the kind where you can kind of sit back while she gets out some energy.  Take it easy on yourself, this is temporary. 

Jinsy80

It's been pretty bad being pregnant and having a toddler/preschooler at home. She was 2 1/2 when I got pregnant. I haven't been as patient with her as I would have liked. It doesn't help that she's so freaking stubborn and doesn't listen at all. It got a little bit better after 13 weeks (morning sickness ended). GL!

Carol*Brady

Hang in there...I absolutely hate being pg w/ little ones...I've done it twice & it was the hardest thing ever.  My kids watched more TV & ate more crap than I'd like to admit during those times.  She'll be alright just try & give both of you a break--it's a hard time!

Baby4OT

I agree completely! I'm only about 2 weeks ahead of you and I am SO on edge all the time. I feel nauseous all the time. I lost my sh!t with the girls all the time. I try really hard not to yell, but sometimes it just happens. They also watch a little more tv now (they watched almost none before so I don't feel too bad about it). Sometimes when I just can't get up and do stuff I sit on the couch and they both bring book after book to me and we all sit on the couch and read for a long time. That way I'm still pretty relaxed adn they are getting more attention from me. This first trimester is dragging by, even slower than the last one when I puked every day. Fortunately since I have two kids already, they are pretty good about entertaining each other. Lay on the floor or couch and let her play with you that way!

AggieCouple

I don't think any normal person is cut out to juggle both a kid and a pregnancy.  It is hard.  You need so much rest, especially during the first trimester, and you just don't get it.  My only tips are to cut yourself some slack and ask for help from anyone but especially H.  Try to rest, drink lots of water, and strangely, I always found pasta to help.  For some reason, the carb fix helped me when it got really bad.