2nd Trimester
heatherb_yo
member
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Disgusted.
heatherb_yo
member
On our way home from Costco, DH looks over to the truck next to us and says, "Is that guy smoking with a baby in the truck?" Sure enough, there is a baby in the middle of a single bench seat truck and on either side are a man and a woman with the windows rolled almost all the way up BOTH smoking cigarettes. The cab was full of smoke and the poor baby is just sitting there drinking it's bottle. I rolled down my window and told them they should be ashamed of themselves.
I almost started to cry. I mean, I am a former smoker, but seriously???? I would NEVER smoke in that close of a proximity to a child, EVER!! That poor kid is going to grow up with all sorts of problems.
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Re: Disgusted.
I mean...I think that's pretty gross. But I don't think it's appropriate to roll down your window and say that to them either.
Smoking is not illegal, and thus they have every right to do so. It's not the choice I would make, but it's also not my child.
You are correct. It's actually against the law if you have a minor in the car, not just an infant.
I passed this big group of young mothers the other day. They all had babies in carseats at their feet, and were standing around outside of a store, puffing away. I was disgusted. They were oblivious, sadly. I think smoking around a child just . . . says soooooo much about you.
ETA: OP, I don't think you did anything wrong, saying something to them. No, it may not be illegal for them to smoke in the car that their little one is in. But guess what? It's not illegal for you to express your disapproval. I hate that "it's not your business if it's not illegal" argument. So we should only speak out when someone is doing something that breaks the law? And so what if they've heard over and over that smoking around their baby is wrong? Good. I'm glad they heard it again, from you.
It's super sad but like PP said not illegal.
It hurts me personally b.c I know from experience how that can hurt the baby even later in life. My grandmother lived with us and smoked around me and so did my dad til I had bronchitis 3x before 2 and my mom made them moth smoke outside. My grandmother cont. to smoke around me when she watched me which drove my mom crazy..I STILL have lung issues, get bronchitis all the time and have had pneumonia 3x b.c my lungs were so harmed from it.
I don't think it was your business to say anything to them. Smokers know the risks of smoking. They know what everyone is going to say. The fact is that if they don't change for themselves, it's not going to happen.
It wasn't the best choice in the world for their child, but they know that too. Being a smoker myself, I catch a lot of hell. If it was so easy to quit, I would. However, having it beat into my head and giving me dirty looks does nothing to change the situation.
I'm not proud of the fact that I'm a smoker. Lord knows I've tried to quit. DD has grown up around us being smokers. Granted, we're not blowing it in her face and we smoke outside, but when it comes to driving, yeah we have a cigarette when we feel stressed out.
It sucks, but yelling into someone else's car makes you look crazy. Sorry.
While I wouldn't want my child exposed to smoke like that, I don't think I would go out of my way to yell at someone either.
Both of my parents were heavy smokers when I was little at they definitely smoked in front of me and my siblings. They really just didn't know better back then. I've watched old family holiday videos and there are babies in high chairs and all of the adults puffing away in the dining room. No one would ever do that now.
I wouldn't assume that the baby is necessarily going to have "all sorts of problems."
They just passed this law in Maine a year or two ago. It's illegal to smoke in the car with a minor under 16. There have been a lot of smoking bans in Maine lately actually.
I was so young when they banned smoking in resteraunts that I was SHOCKED when I moved down to MS and got asked 'smoking or non' in the first restaraunt we went to lol.
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I agree with you. My grandparents and my dad all smoked when I was little around me, and I don't have any problems.
Personally I don't care if it was appropriate for me to say it or not. Like I said, I am a former smoker. If I was on a trip or a long drive with the skids and I wanted a cigarette I simply pulled over or waited until I got home. I don't think that's too much to do. I don't care that they smoke. They can smoke all they want, but when they bring an innocent child into the mix, they are drawing the line.
I know that children that are subjected to that have a much higher risk of having "all sorts of problems" because my SD's both have respiratory issues, asthma and chronic bronchitis because their mother smoked in the car with the windows rolled up just like these people. As well as wherever else she was. So maybe this hit home with me.
There IS a difference, however, in beating and abusing a child and smoking in front of or around them. If you were to call CPS or something like that, all you would do is cause yourself more frustration and nothing would come of it.
I think it's great that some states are passing laws for not smoking in the vehicles with minors. (Even though it would be hard for me.) I think it's great that there's more non smoking places than smoking. I don't mind going outside for it. My main issue is that people giving dirty looks and yelling at you for your bad habits is like beating a dead horse. KWIM?
ETA: Smoking is a habit. A bad one. Changing a habit takes more than just the decision to do it. It takes alot of will power and support. It's a complete change of lifestyle. Sometimes all you can do is make little strides. One step at a time.
It's illegal in BC to smoke in a car with minors in it. It should be the law everywhere.
I don't disagree. But if it is not the law where this poster was, then it's not the law.
And I still don't think rolling down the window and shouting at them accomplishes anything other than making you look silly. You didn't stop the action, or prevent it from happening again. You yelled at a stranger in a car, who may or may not have had any idea what on earth you were even screaming about. Pointless.
ETA: That was a general "you."
haha I'm sure they did think that, but I don't really care. Besides I didn't totally freak out on them, I calmly rolled down my window and told them what I thought. "You should be ashamed of yourselves". They were close enough that I didn't have to scream.
How did you find out I was running for Queen of the earth? Who told you?
Oprah can't be Queen of the Earth forever...
Not meaning to snark, but...yeah ok I'm gonna snark on this.
SO basically, you KNOW that they probably didn't know what you were talking about. You don't really care what they think about you. So basically you acknowledge the fact that you got all up in a hissy fit "trying to save the health of this child", but knew that it would do nothing but give you the self gratification of making someone feel lower than you. That makes you awesome.
they have the same law in atleast parts if not all of Ny.
What I was referencing was them thinking "Fvck off bit$h" I never said that I know that they probably had no idea what I was talking about, but no, I don't care what they thought of me. LIKE I SAID... and I will elaborate.
I smoked for 15 years about a pack and a half a day until I found out I was pregnant. July 5th of this year was my last cigarette. SO, being a smoker I can't understand how someone can do that to a child.
You being someone that smokes around children probably don't feel great about doing it and someone telling you that you are wrong for doing it is probably something that you are well aware of. So are you pissed that I could have possibly made them feel guilty about it? I hope that I did and I would hope that if I did something stupid that someone would tell me about it.
I am not above anyone and quite respect when others tell me I'm being an ass when I'm truly being an ass. So if that makes you think that I think I'm awesome, so be it.
Bad parents in general disgust me, and this falls into that category. I would have rolled down my window and said much worse. Legality has NOTHING to do with it. It's not illegal to get drunk in front of your kid, or swear, or be a general idiotic jackass... but that doesn't mean it's ok.
I've said for a long time, I think you should have to pass a test to be a parent. Like driving a car. There are too many morons having sex- it's a scary world!!
I think you were being an azz for endangering your own health for 15 years by smoking 1.5 packs a day and you will possibly have long term effects from this awful decision.
Oh,
. OP, I want to congratulate you for doing the right thing and quitting. I'm sure it was hard. Good for you.
Calling them right now. What's your address? lmao
I will not deny that you are 100% correct, but I wasn't bringing an innocent baby along with me for the ride.
This.
Was that really necessary?
I love how the ones who say they like to call out so called "stupid people" on the bump are the ones telling you you shouldn't have called out this person for putting their baby's life in danger. I find that very interesting...
Anyways, that is absolutely sick that they would do that to their kid and I am so glad that for the sake of helpless baby's and children our province has put a law in place to protect them by banning smoking in vehicles. Good on you for speaking up when the baby can't speak up for themself. Even though everyone is right and they aren't likely to change their ways, at least you had the guts to call them out for doing something very sickening.
OP if I were you I'd write to my congressman and try to get a law like that passed in my state
While it might not change the behavior of the people you saw, you did what you felt was right. It's all about living in a way you're happy with so you can sleep at night. For that, I say good for you! FWIW, I would have done the same thing. After living most of my life with my parents (who started out as pack-a-day smokers and have since graduated to 2+ packs-a-day), I know how disgusting it is to have to live with it and have no way of escaping it (save moving out). Not that I think someone lecturing my parents would have changed anything...
I'm just glad they weren't psycho people...who knows what they might have done to you? That's probably why I wouldn't have done the same thing, I'm too much of a fraidy cat about that sort of thing!
Good for you OP -
It is against the law here and I remember when the law passed thinking how sad it is that the government has to do something to enforce this and that people aren't responsible enough about their children's health to be able to make this decision for themselves.
I know as a former smoker that people's opinions about my habit actually did leave an impression on me and make me feel, at times, embarrased about it.
Hopefully if enough people look at these parents like the idiots that they are it just might have an impact. If not, hopefully a law does pass in your area and their sad azzes can get fined.
Thank you for calling people idiots and sad. Especially when they probably DO feel bad for their decisions.
Let me ask you a question. Since I am a smoker, and I am trying to quit (It's just taking a while to wean off since there's NO safe medications to take while pregnant to quit.), am I a sad idiot of a parent? My daughter is 100% healthy, happy, does well in school, respects others, and KNOWS that smoking is bad. She sees that it's hard for us and is learning from our mistakes. So, am I a horrible parent?
If you are smoking in the car with your child, then yes to all of your questions.
If you are taking your smoking outside of the house, then no.
This thread is about two people smoking in a car with a child inside.
Just because something isn't illegal doesn't mean it isn't wrong.
Sorry but you said you do sometimes smoke in the car with your young daughter plus while you are pregnant. Those two things don't exactly earn you a 'parent of the year' award in my eyes. I know its hard to quit but you ARE putting it all out there for others to judge your behavior.
Yes I do sometimes smoke with my daughter in the car. Yes I am pregnant. Am I asking for "parent of the year"? No.
My point in this is that just because a parent smokes, whether it be in front of their child or not, it doesn't mean that they are horrible parents that deserve to be chastisized (sp) by society. That's why I put my stuff out there.
Everyone has a story. You never know what someone may be battling with. I say let people deal with their issues. That child may have been a happy, healthy child with no problems.
While the child may be happy, I think it's safe to say it will not be healthy if they continue doing what they're doing.
My parents both smoked; I have asthma, ear infections constantly, and breathing issues. I don't think that's a coincidence.
Smoking does not make you a bad parent right off the bat- but being pregnant while doing it does, IMO. Sorry. (My mom continued to smoke while pregnant with my brother- he was born stillborn. Just my experience)
Wait, you're pregnant and smoking? Then yes, you are a sad idiot.
And please don't b!tch about how hard it is to quit. I quit the day I found out I was pregnant. I also have zero sympathy for anyone who continues to smoke while pregnant or while near a child.
I also hate when people say "I'm trying to quit." You're either actively smoking or you're not. If you have a pack of cigarettes in your purse/house/car then you are not trying hard enough. Throw them all out and don't allow yourself to buy more.
It's time to step up and do something healthy for your child, your unborn child, AND yourself.