Am I being selfish?

Turtle143

It's been almost 1 month since I found out we're finally pregnant after 3 years of TTC.

It was a miracle how we found out about my pregnancy but I've been sick since then. First the major bloating came, then the nausea, the fatigue, the HAs, the vomiting, and did I mention the all day nausea?

Everyday it's the story of my life. I feel like I might be falling into depression. Even though I have Zofran, it still only takes the edge off nausea but its' still there. I'm so tired of feeling sick every single day, every hour of my life. Yesterday, I even though "I hate being pregnant" and I felt really bad even thinking that. DH is clearly very happy and has been very supportive and caring, I just wish I didn't feel this miserable. I cry to myself when DH is not around and pray that I get through this and have a healthy baby in the end so that I never have to do this again. And we were planning on having at least 2 kids! Now I don't think I ever wanna go through this again.

I have so much more respect to all the moms out there, including my grandma who had 11 kids! I don't know how you all do it.

Is this selfishness I'm feeling? I just wish to go back to feeling like my old self.  

mbritto4

My friend who had severe sickness after having TTTC had F this moments in her pregnancy.  Now that her beautiful twins are here she actually wants 2 more, and ontop of the all day m/s her entire pregnancy she had home and hospital bed rest, pre-e, and bleeding and 2 D&Cs after they were born. 

It gets better, and the "prize" at the end of the 40 weeks is worth what your body goes thru.  If you are feeling depressed you should talk to your OB, as they can help you get thru it.  With hormones surging thru you it's easy to get overwhelmed. 

babyxmas

Being pregnant can be really hard. No one tells you that. I had a very hard 3 months in the beginning of my last pregnancy. The nausea alone is enough to make you crazy. You will get past it though. I know it doesn't seem like its going to end but it will. I was on meds and tried everything under the sun to help the neasea. The only thing that 'took the edge off' for me were Granny Smith Apples. Go get some....they are great this time of year. GL 

Scout05

Being sick sucks. Period. End of story. It's not like "oh, I went through hell to get here, so puking is totally fun now."

I don't think it's selfish, I think it's human.

babubhatt

i felt this way too - seriously.  it is awful (and see my ticker, we were IF and eventually conceived via IVF).

BUT, it went away and now i just deal with fatigue and those feelings of depression have definately dissipated.

so, just know that hopefully, you will feel a bit better eventually.  the worst of it, for most people is the 1st tri.  mine was really bad from weeks 3-8.

 

 

susanlovestexas

StarAnnice:

babubhatt:

i felt this way too - seriously.  it is awful (and see my ticker, we were IF and eventually conceived via IVF).

BUT, it went away and now i just deal with fatigue and those feelings of depression have definately dissipated.

so, just know that hopefully, you will feel a bit better eventually.  the worst of it, for most people is the 1st tri.  mine was really bad from weeks 3-8.

 

 

I apologize, but I can't let this pass, the worst for most people is not 1st tri, it's 3rd.  Most people, not all, start feeling better in 2nd tri, but by the middle of 3rd are miserable again.

I don't know about "most people" but I actually agree that first tri is the worst.  For me, the first 18 weeks is easily 100 times worse than the whole rest of the pregnancy combined, including labor, delivery, and post partum!  The nausea is overwhelmingly miserable.  Nothing is worse than that in my opinion.  And I was on bedrest for bleeding from week 20 to delivery last pregnancy, but that wasn't as bad as the puking for the first 18 weeks.

susanlovestexas

StarAnnice:

susanlovestexas:

StarAnnice:

babubhatt:

i felt this way too - seriously.  it is awful (and see my ticker, we were IF and eventually conceived via IVF).

BUT, it went away and now i just deal with fatigue and those feelings of depression have definately dissipated.

so, just know that hopefully, you will feel a bit better eventually.  the worst of it, for most people is the 1st tri.  mine was really bad from weeks 3-8.

 

 

I apologize, but I can't let this pass, the worst for most people is not 1st tri, it's 3rd.  Most people, not all, start feeling better in 2nd tri, but by the middle of 3rd are miserable again.

I don't know about "most people" but I actually agree that first tri is the worst.  For me, the first 18 weeks is easily 100 times worse than the whole rest of the pregnancy combined, including labor, delivery, and post partum!  The nausea is overwhelmingly miserable.  Nothing is worse than that in my opinion.  And I was on bedrest for bleeding from week 20 to delivery last pregnancy, but that wasn't as bad as the puking for the first 18 weeks.

Hence I said "most people, not all".  I'm sure if we take a poll on our baby boards they'll have the same view about 3rd tri.  The heartburn, acid reflux, too big to fit into anything, have to lay on your side, no comfortable way of sitting, laying, or standing up that's comfortable, swelling, sweating, pressure on the lady bits, sciatic pain, etc, etc. 

Awwww, we've all got so much to look forward to! 

1momma

cant forget horrible BO and peeing yerself everytime you laugh or sneeze

1momma

ha funny story:  we went through a haunted house while we were at home and I screamed a pee'd, DH said really?, I said babe, my vag isnt what it used to be. I got another, really?

Quesera

You're not being selfish, you're being pregnant! I think some people who have trouble TTC focus so much on that then when they are finally pg it's a little overwhelming and hard to all of a sudden switch your mindset, that along with the misery of m/s is throwing you off balance. If you truly think your depression is getting out of control now is the time to talk to someone about it, there is nothing to be ashamed of and you are not alone. For the record I have had a blissful 2nd trimester and am sailing into the 3rd pretty happy and comfortable but if this doesn't happen to you remember that you don't have to love your pregnancy to love your baby but you do have to take care of your mental state so that it doesn't affect you postpartum. good luck. 

febgirl

I can remember having similar moments with DS when I was pregnant. And, for me, 1st tri was definitely by far the worst. 3rd tri was uncomfortable, but it was a cakewalk in comparison to being nauseous for 16 weeks, plus, at least in the 3rd tri, you know you're at the finish line.

Don't get ahead of yourself already thinking about #2, because every pregnancy is different. I was extremely sick for #1 and I feel pretty darn good so far for #2 but I'm trying not to jinx myself. Hang in there, it does get easier.

SallyAnneS

I'm sorry you are feeling so rough.  M/s and constant fatigue is no fun.  In terms of feeling guilty about not loving being pregnant I also went through this for a few weeks.  And then I reminded myself I don't want to be pregnant, I wan to have a baby!  Being pregnant is just another stepping stone to getting there.  But you don't have to love being pregnant.  I know it is so hard to not feel guilty about not loving pg after ttc for so long.  Your mind set, if like mine, was that people that are pg should never complain because at least they are pg.  It takes time to move on past this mindset.  IF messes with your mind something terrible.  And I really don't think that ever goes away.  But you don't need to feel guilty for not loving being pregnant.  Know what I mean?  Hang in there and talk to your doctor about it if you feel you need something to get outself out of this funk.  *hugs*

amatistajoy

thanks for posting this and to those who responded

I've been feeling the same 

babubhatt

well, i wasn't saying that the 3rd tri was a cakewalk or anything.  just letting her know that the nausea she is feeling is a new thing and that for most people, it does pass and you start feeling a bit more 'normal' in the 2nd tri.

that's all.

 

js748899

I have actually felt the exact same way the past couple of weeks. I have been sick to my stomach all day (except while I am sleeping) for almost three weeks now. I am MISERABLE! The vomiting has also started to increase. There has been a few days where I have literally sat on my bathroom floor in front of the toilet and just cried.

The past three days I have had the stomach flu on top of this that sent me to the ER b/c I was extremely dehydrated. I thought I was going to lose it! I just keep telling myself that this WILL pass and it will not last forever. I know that once the baby is here I will look back at this and know that it was all worth it. I will also be talking to my OB this week at my first appt. about ways to handle it. I hope you get some relief soon!

JuneBug0611

I confessed the same feeling to my mom on the phone the other day, "Mom, I feel so bad saying this, but I am just SO SICK I'm not even happy about being pregnant right now."  I felt like I had just confessed something terrible.  To my shock, she was not horrified.  She said, "Of course you're not happy when you're sick.  That's normal."  Oh, the relief at being given permission to just feel rotten!  We don't have to be happy every second that we are pregnant!

Heather & Nayt

OP, don't beat yourself up about how you are feeling. Hopefully it will get better for you soon and you get some relief. But trust me when I say it is all worth it in the end. And you quickly forget all the bad parts (The puking, the pain, the annoying clothes don't fitting, being huge as a house, peeing constantly). There are so many women who have other kids because you know its worth it when you hold that little baby. 

Hang in there!