le sigh

DrinknDerive

This post is strictly a cathartic exercise for me, but I feel like I need to put these thoughts out into the universe.  So don't read it if you don't feel like it. 

I was playing rockband with DH and my brother, J, tonight.  It was so much freaking fun.  Then we played the song "Carry on Wayward Son".  This was my late brother, C's, favorite song to play.  He and I would play for hours when he was still in high school, because it was a way to relate to each other.  It brought back a lot of awesome memories, but it also reminded me of the gaping whole in my life.

I just hate how random and small events can cause this flood of emotions and make my world stand still.  My coping has severely regressed tonight.  All because of a video game. 

If you read all of this, thanks.  I'm not really looking for anything from you guys.  It just helps me to ramble sometimes. 

NeenTheBean

*hugs* I'm so sorry

Ashleygoo

Lolabug86

I'm sorry hun!

DrinknDerive

Thanks, ladies.

Star - I'm sorry.  Life really does suck sometimes, and it's hard to cope with the fact that is so random and uncontrollable.  Oh, and unfair.  Claire gets so many extra kisses when I'm feeling down.  Her middle name is in honor of my bro, too.  His name was Cory. 

shakinotstirred

If I knew how to do emoticons from my phone I would send you the hug one. That would be really hard.:(

BFab11

My dad died in 1997 and I still can't make it through "Butterfly Kisses" without crying. The pain is never easy or gone, you just learn to live with it.

DrinknDerive

shakinotstirred:

If I knew how to do emoticons from my phone I would send you the hug one. That would be really hard.:(

Thanks, shakin.

DrinknDerive

BFab11:

My dad died in 1997 and I still can't make it through "Butterfly Kisses" without crying. The pain is never easy or gone, you just learn to live with it.

This is what I hear.  I'm sorry you lost your dad. 

NastyAnnie

*Hugs*

You and me, D. We're getting together soon (after the big GTG, obvs) and having coffee or something. There's so much more to you than you normally put out here, and I want to get to know that girl.

And, the pain...it does ease. Therapy hurts, but it helps. Like stitches, I guess. It sucks in the moment, but you don't want a gaping hole in your guts for the rest of your life, so you do it. You know? If you need to talk... just let me know.

DrinknDerive

NastyAnnie:

*Hugs*

You and me, D. We're getting together soon (after the big GTG, obvs) and having coffee or something. There's so much more to you than you normally put out here, and I want to get to know that girl.

And, the pain...it does ease. Therapy hurts, but it helps. Like stitches, I guess. It sucks in the moment, but you don't want a gaping hole in your guts for the rest of your life, so you do it. You know? If you need to talk... just let me know.

Late response since I just woke up....

Thanks, Annie.  I've been to several counselors, but they all just piss me off.  If I hear "God doesn't give us more than we can handle" one more time, I'm going to get stabby.  Perhaps not everyone takes solace in a belief in a hands on God that always has your back.  So, the search continues for a counselor in the Bible Belt that will not throw biblical verses at me and expect me to magically heal.  lol

We definitely need to get together.  I lurve coffee almost as much as I lurve conversation.

NastyAnnie

DrinknDerive:

Late response since I just woke up....

Thanks, Annie.  I've been to several counselors, but they all just piss me off.  If I hear "God doesn't give us more than we can handle" one more time, I'm going to get stabby.  Perhaps not everyone takes solace in a belief in a hands on God that always has your back.  So, the search continues for a counselor in the Bible Belt that will not throw biblical verses at me and expect me to magically heal.  lol

We definitely need to get together.  I lurve coffee almost as much as I lurve conversation.

I understand sug. My mom died 10 years ago. I seriously just found a counselor that I am really cool with around here 2 months ago. It takes a while. Keep looking.

In the meantime, I wish there was more gas in my car. I'd come visit today! Too bad. I will wait for next weekend I guess. Lol.

DrinknDerive

NastyAnnie:

I understand sug. My mom died 10 years ago. I seriously just found a counselor that I am really cool with around here 2 months ago. It takes a while. Keep looking.

In the meantime, I wish there was more gas in my car. I'd come visit today! Too bad. I will wait for next weekend I guess. Lol.

Stupid gas!  Oh well, next weekend will be fun for sure.