- Pregnancy
- Baby & Toddler
- Parents
- Getting Pregnant
- Baby Names
- Product Reviews
-
Registry
- Community
-
More
Want a personalized experience?
Download the free app
Babies: 6 - 9 Months
What do you think of this?
I have two friends from high school on my FB. Each of them started dating a guy their sophomore or junior year of high school and that guy was their first boyfriend. Neither of the guys had ever dated anyone before either. Both girls ended up marrying these guys the summer after graduation and they didn't have their first kiss until their actual wedding day ("You may now kiss the bride.") We graduated in 2004. One couple is pregnant with baby number 3 and the other just had baby number 2.
These girls are both non-denominational Christians and say that they knew that they were supposed to be with these boys forever because God put them in one another's lives.
I'm not overly religious. Actually, I'm agnostic. But, I don't know how healthy I think it is to only ever date one person. You can even date different individuals without having to go crazy in the physical affection department if you wanted.
Obviously these are just my thoughts and I would never say anything to either one of them. But I was curious as to what you ladies thought. Is this more common than I'm aware of? How can you know at 15/16 what you're going to want for the rest of your life?
This is a test. This is only a test.
This discussion has been closed.
Re: What do you think of this?
There was a couple that I went to high school with who started dating when they were in 7th grade. They graduated high school in 2002 (a year after me) and got married only 2 years ago. They've only dated each other, but they were together 12 years before they actually got married.
I don't think it's so much of being with the same person, as it is growing into an adult yourself. The changes someone can go through in college, their first "real" job, etc. are pretty big.
To each their own, I guess. I know personally I've learned something from each of my relationships, including my marriage that is only still existant because neither one of us has filed for divorce. Live and learn, I suppose.
I have a friend who is married to someone she dated in high school for a couple of months, they dated people in between, and started dating again when she was 19 - during our freshman year of college. She is now 27 and is saying - that she has changed too much and not sure that she wants to stay married anymore. She was his first and only serious GF - and he was a virgin. He seems content - but this is her second marriage freakout in the past couple of years. She doesn't feel she should be attracted to other people if she is truly happily married - especially since she has no desire to have sex with him. I don't know if it is common, but she has already separated from him for about 6 months - got her own apartment. They got back together - bought a house together the same year. She recently had to have a D & C because she had a molar pregnancy. She is now convinced that she didn't get pregnant because they weren't meant to be together. I'm not sure if this is her way of dealing with the loss - but I feel bad for him too because he is a great guy. So I guess I don't believe you know what you want out of life when you are 15/16. I regret what I graduated from college with for a degree - and that was a decision I made when I was 18.
Although - my parents are high school sweethearts and have been married for 30 years (this coming May). So now I'm torn.
I don't think it's the norm but can you meet the love of your life at16 and stay with person forever? Absolutely! I dated a few guys short-term in highschool and freshman year of college, but nothing serious. I met my DH at 19 (end of freshman year of college). He was my first serious boyfriend and we were married 3 years later. We're still very happily married 8 years later.
I do think the "we didn't kiss until our wedding day" thing is a tad odd.
We were all in choir together so they knew each other, but they weren't friends. One was a jock and the other was in the theater crowd.
I met DH when I was 15 and he was 17 and we started dating when I was 16, and just celebrated our 3rd wedding anniversary this past Monday. I had 2 other boyfriends prior to meeting DH, but those were your typical middle school or high school relationships...they didn't last long.
I have to say though, I see no problem with only dating 1 guy. My husband and I have definitely changed since we were teens, but we have been through so much together and have grown up and with each other.
I take comfort in the fact that DH and I have already been through a lot and that our love has never wavered. Especially in this day and age when divorce is some prominent.
We did sleep together, live together and buy a house together before we got married (dated 6 years before marriage).
February will be 11 years that we've been together and we have an amazing relationship. I have absolutely no desire to be with anyone else nor do I feel like I missed anything be not dating.
That's what I'm thinking.
I understand what you're saying and many (if not most) highschool or college students are ready to commit to one person for the rest of their life BUT...on the flip side, DH and I have gone through all those big adult life changes together. We've grown up together and through it all, we've grown closer together. We might not have learned a lot from other relationships but we've learned a lot about ourselves and us as a couple through all the ups and downs.
I think the difference (IMO, anyway) is that you've been married for 8 years and had the first 6 or so to grow as a couple. We've been out of high school for 6 years and one of the couples are on baby #3.
Some people have to go through a few mates before they find the right person and some people don't. My sister dated a guy for 6 years and was only married to him for 3 months before they got a divorce. She highly recommends living with someone before you marry them. It changes things.
I had a boss tell me the same thing once. Her exact words were, "I wouldn't buy a pair of shoes without trying them on, why should marriage be any different?" lol, that stuck with me!
ITA.
I don't really agree that there's a right age to find your SO. This "you change so much" business is just silly to me. You should always be changing and evolving. I didn't meet MH until I was in my early 20's, but my parent's met at 15, got married at 20, and still think they're highschool sweethearts.
Go check out the people that had midlife crises. They might have gotten married at 30, but oh, they've "changed and grown so much since then."
I guess what I'm really saying is that you should be evolving with SO, and if you aren't, then whether you met at 5, 15, 35, it's still not going to work.
Agreed. Just because you get married later in life doesn't mean it will work any better than if you did when you were young.
These are my thoughts too. I think my friend is going thru a sort of mid-life crisis if that's what you want to call it and this is how she is reacting.
I don't even like the same foods now as I liked at 15 or 16 so I can't even say that I'd marry the guy that I dated then. Now that I think about marrying my high school bf I want to vomit. Although, just because it isn't my style doesn't mean that I don't agree with it for someone else. My friend has "dated" the same guy since we were 12 (or as much dating as you can do at 12) and they're married and happy. So, I guess it just depends on the person. As far as religion, I don't think that it has anything to do with religion as much as it has to do with how many growing pains you're willing to deal with and my fuse is a bit shorter than most.
They be crazy. ;P
I suppose if it's working for them, good on them.
DH and I have known each other since we were 15, however we both dated a bunch before we started dating (when we were 21). Like a pp said, I learned so much of what I wanted from a husband and how I wanted to feel, etc. There were things I never even thought would be important that I only realized once I didn't have them.
I have to say also.....not even a kiss? That is, of course in my own opinion, INSANE. I can understand waiting to have sex.....but kissing? It's one of the most romantic, sweetest experiences that really makes your heart grow. I suppose if you get married like a day after you fall in love, it would make sense. That's it.
My parents were high school sweethearts and got married at 19. Five years later, they had me, followed by my two younger siblings. They're still happily married after 38 years.
BUT -- I think they're a VERY rare case. Almost all of their friends -- most of whom got married in their early/mid-20s -- have gotten divorced.
I think some of the reasons that it worked for them are: they didn't get married at 19 b/c of a pregnancy or because they were all about getting married to have The Sex, and they waited quite awhile before they did have kids. They grew up together. Instead of growing apart -- which I think happens to the vast majority of couples that young -- they grew closer together.
I think it's impossible to predict which, if any, teen loves will turn out like that, b/c the odds are stacked so high against it working out. I can't imagine myself being happy even remotely happy if I had ended up married to any of the guys I dated in HS!
DD1, 1/5/2008 ~~~ DD2, 3/17/2010