Feeling more hopeless than ever — The Bump
Miscarriage/Pregnancy Loss

Feeling more hopeless than ever

We have had 3 m/c and have been seeing a specialist. I have had so many tests done that all come back normal and he can't figure out why I would be having so many m/c. It's been almost 2 months since my last d&c (Aug. 31st) and still no answers... now the specialist seems to be at a dead end, as he is trying to refer me to another specialist... anyone have any advice?

I am feeling hopeless and helpless, and feel like I am going to cry almost always as every topic of conversation with our friends and family is about children and others finding out they are pregnant... I am happy for them but still feel angery and upset about it later...

Re: Feeling more hopeless than ever

  • I've had 2 now, and don't seem to have anything wrong. I wish I could tell you something to help you. I'm feeling the same way that you are. My DH has 3 children, so I'm really afraid its me. And 2 of my best freinds are pregnant too. I'm with you, I'm trying so hard to feel happy for them, but i'm so angry that this keeps happening to me. Hopefullyou doctors will have something to say soon. All I can suggest is to keep on hoping and praying that it will happen for you. I know that doesn't help very much, and I'm having a hard time following my own advise, but keep your head up. This is a good place to post and ask for help, and were all here to help out the best we can.
    BFP 4/27/09, missed M/C 5/25/09, D&C 6/10/09 BFP 9/9/10, missed M/C 10/27/10, D&C 11/2/2010 BabyFruit Ticker
  • Many of us are in the same boat... I've had 2, at this point no know reason why. We are still waiting for cytogenetics from my 2nd MC. My H also has 2 children from a previous marriage so we know he's ok. It might just be our combination or something. Still no answers. We are just going to try and try again. At this point I consider myself very very unlucky. ((hugs to us all))
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  • Hugs to us all is about right. Thanks suziq, I'm thinking the same for me. We are going to try again to, but I really don't know if I can go through this again. Grrrrrrr, I'm so angry. I know this happens to more than we know of, but grrrrrr.
    BFP 4/27/09, missed M/C 5/25/09, D&C 6/10/09 BFP 9/9/10, missed M/C 10/27/10, D&C 11/2/2010 BabyFruit Ticker
  • I'm so sorry for your losses.

    You may want to post this on the PGAL board to get some additional answers. I know some ladies there who have had multiple losses and can guide you about what tests they had done, and anything that was done differently. One poster comes to mind who had many losses, and her RE found out she was Oing too early, so she did injects to stop from Oing so early and is now 15 weeks. I think I got the gist of the story, but she'd be able to confirm and advise further.

    For myself, I've had two losses, but the causes were very different, so I don't have much advice.


    BFP #1 via IUI ~ L (Fatal Birth Defect) 4/7/10
    BFP #2 via IUI ~ m/c

    BFP #3 via cancelled IUI ~ C (2lb 3oz; HELLP) 5/16/11

    BFP #4 via the natural (free!) way ~ E (8lb 11oz) 9/13/12

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  • (warning- baby picture in sig.)

    I wanted to say I am so sorry for your losses, and i've been where you are. I had 2 m/c's in a row before having my son. I had the RPL panel, as well as FSH testing, and they also tested the baby for chromosomal abnormalities after the D&E (2nd one). I was also scheduled for an HSG to rule out physical problems.They never were able to find a cause, both m/c's were just basically bad luck (blighted ovum for the first, and an extra set of chromosomes for the second).

    A good friend of mine had 5 m/c's in a row, and now just had her third child... they were never able to find a cause. However, she attributes her m/c's to the fact that she used a heating pad and an electric blanket. She read something somewhere about it, stopped using them, and her pregnancies have been successful since. Not sure how accurate that is, her doc said it could have hadsoemthing to do with her body temp being too high, but who knows.

    I hope that you are able to get the answers that you need soon.

    M/C #1 BFP 5/26/08, missed m/c discovered 9w1d (blighted ovum) M/C #2 BFP 11/19/08, missed m/c discovered at 12w1d (triploidy) BFP!! 3/27 Due date 12/5/09 Benjamin Tate is here! Born 12-1-09, 9lbs 5oz, 22" via C-Section M/C #3: d/x ectopic, methotrexate given 2/11 BFP!! 7/12, due 3-21-12
  • i completely understand how painful it is & am so sorry hon. You are not alone!

    Best wishes 


    Even miracles take a little time - Cinderella

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