s/o re: BFP w/o insurance

gibs

Does it BUG anyone else (or am I the only one, as sometimes around here) that a mom of 2 who has enough savvy and time to hang out around here would get "accidentally" KTFU while uninsured, and then we're all supposed to offer helpful suggestions for how she can get public assistanct (medi-caid) or play the system somehow to get covered? 

Does it grate on anyone else that WE, the tax-paying rule-following insured public are the ones who get to cover that cost in the long run???

Just curious.

luckyluvr

I figure it's not going to change anything to judge her. This baby didn't ask to be born, so why are we going to punish it for the poor choices of it's parents. Furthermore. I am a resident of the state she lives in and it's my tax dollars going to help her. I don't mind my money going to helping someone. It's the abusers who are on it for life I am irritated by. Everyone has hard times and life happens.

BubblyToes

I am not afraid to freely admit that things like this just make my jaded, bitter, infertile heart even blacker.

Especially this week.

JOEBunny

I will bite Gibs, maybe I am just in glib mood.  50% of children & their mother's born in my state get some kind of assistance.  We pay $18,000 a year for health insurance.  Yes, it bugs me, but it bugs me more that people who can't afford to buy health insurance think they can afford another baby.  I don't get it.  I never will.  Children deserve to have the things they need and one of them is insurance. 

gibs

I'm not saying that mothers-to-be should not get prenatal care or that there is any easy solution or that we should burden babies with health problems b/c they don't get prenatal care.  I'm just saying I'm bugged - or even disgusted - by the notion that a literate, presumably-thinking woman with a highly-compensated husband and 2 kids would get "oops KTFU" and then we're all supposed to be all "ahhhhh welllll let's help you work the system.  No biggie!"

Grates on me.

Big hugs, Bubs.  Sucks.  Life isn't fair.  The wrong people get the good stuff sometimes.

gibs

JOEBunny:

50% of children & their mother's born in my state get some kind of assistance.  

Disgusting.

Tomfoolery

Yes especially because birth control is free.  All you have to do is go to the tax payer funded health department and request it.  Some people are just too stupid or too lazy to break the failure chain.

MrsStubbs

Just the thought of medicaid makes me sick, so many people take advantage of it. I saved money to pay for my babies because I don't have maternity coverage.

My little sister that works her asss off waitressing two jobs so she can pay for her baby, I don't feel bad for anyone.

CleoKitty

gibs:

...then we're all supposed to be all "ahhhhh welllll let's help you work the system.

Advising someone to look into state insurance to see IF she qualifies isn't working the system, IMO. It's making sure that a mother/baby gets the proper prenatal care to ensure a healthy pregnancy and hopefully if at all possible avoid another pre-term baby that will end up costing even more in the long run. 

"Working the system" implies that there's something sneaky about it. 

And no, it doesn't bother me at all. If nothing else I'm PROUD that my tax dollars go to support mothers and babies in need.  Then again, what do I know seeing as I'm one of those commie socialists who think that we all deserve nationalized healthcare? (And FWIW, I work FT and pay over 50% of my pre-tax income on crappy, high-deductible insurance.)

firefightersgal

BubblyToes:

I am not afraid to freely admit that things like this just make my jaded, bitter, infertile heart even blacker.

Especially this week.

Exactly this.

summerbrideDC

CleoKitty:

gibs:

...then we're all supposed to be all "ahhhhh welllll let's help you work the system.

Advising someone to look into state insurance to see IF she qualifies isn't working the system, IMO. It's making sure that a mother/baby gets the proper prenatal care to ensure a healthy pregnancy and hopefully if at all possible avoid another pre-term baby that will end up costing even more in the long run. 

"Working the system" implies that there's something sneaky about it. 

And no, it doesn't bother me at all. If nothing else I'm PROUD that my tax dollars go to support mothers and babies in need.  Then again, what do I know seeing as I'm one of those commie socialists who think that we all deserve nationalized healthcare? (And FWIW, I work FT and pay over 50% of my pre-tax income on crappy, high-deductible insurance.)

 I'll freely admit to being a Bitter Betty about someone just "ooopsy! I'm pregnant...AGAIN!" especially if they can't afford it, but that's my own baggage as someone who has dealt w/ infertility and has to dig deep to be happy for pregnant ladies right now anyway.

Otherwise, exactly what Cleo said.  

DandelionMom

I don't consider medicaid "play(ing) the system."  I'm pretty sure it is for mothers/babies who can't afford insurance.  If she can afford insurance, she will be denied assistance.

r9stedt

Eh, why would we judge?

 

(((((((((((((((((((((dripping with sarcasm)))))))))))))))))))))) 

Majority of the parenting board fully accepted a certain person who purposely got pregnant in very similar situations.

 

Rebekah1021

BubblyToes:

I am not afraid to freely admit that things like this just make my jaded, bitter, infertile heart even blacker.

 

WORD! 

Jermysgirl

My friend's daughter's birthparents (still with me?) were in a very similar situation, although they still have their own place, and they chose to place their daughter for adoption.  I mean if you're uninsured and don't live on your own, how can you afford to have a third child?

joy143dh

At the end of the day, it's all for the best that she and her children get the care they need.  I'm OK with offering a helping hand (or tax dollar) to make sure accidental children are not made to feel or treated like accidents.   But that doesn't change the fact that I feel a little bitter that it has to be that way. It also bothers me that some people feel they have an entitlement to certain things without having any self-accountability - I didn't get that vibe from who we are s/o, but I see often IRL.

gibs

DandelionMom:

I don't consider medicaid "play(ing) the system."  I'm pretty sure it is for mothers/babies who can't afford insurance.  If she can afford insurance, she will be denied assistance.

 

If you aren't organized or thoughtful or financially-secure enough to afford and maintain insurance, maybe you shouldn't be adding children to your family.  They gonna end up on public assistance too?  Guessing yes.

BubblyToes

r9stedt:

Eh, why would we judge?

 

(((((((((((((((((((((dripping with sarcasm)))))))))))))))))))))) 

Majority of the parenting board fully accepted a certain person who purposely got pregnant in very similar situations.

 

Why can I not for the life of me remember this one??

Temp374386125003286

BubblyToes:

r9stedt:

Eh, why would we judge?

 

(((((((((((((((((((((dripping with sarcasm)))))))))))))))))))))) 

Majority of the parenting board fully accepted a certain person who purposely got pregnant in very similar situations.

 

Why can I not for the life of me remember this one??

Who?  I can't figure it out.

emilykristene2006

r9stedt:

Eh, why would we judge?

 

(((((((((((((((((((((dripping with sarcasm)))))))))))))))))))))) 

Majority of the parenting board fully accepted a certain person who purposely got pregnant in very similar situations.

 

Who?

mamarazzi

A year ago, it would have bugged me a lot more.  But then I got laid off...and then my H got laid off six months later.  His company went under, so there's no longer group health insurance offered, which means COBRA isn't an option. 

Now we're in a place where we literally canNOT afford healthcare because there's it's next to impossible to find a plan that will cover an existing pregnancy and the plans that will are so expensive, we'd be better getting on a payment plan with the hospital and paying out of pocket.

Was it a stupid idea to have sex even once without protection while uninsured?  Absolutely.  And I can't say I don't feel some judgement toward that immature and irresponsible choice.  However, I don't know her whole situation and the fact is, she is asking for help now, so I offered what I know.

I'm terribly bitter that we've been upstanding, tax-paying, fully insured individuals who entered the workforce at 15 and have consistently held down jobs since then and, yet, we're the ones who suffer in a situation like we're in because we make "too much" for assistance, but too little to afford private healthcare.  My husband and I have taken over $30K in salary reductions this year.  Yes, he has a new job, but the pay is significantly lower than his previous job and the insurance costs more.

Andrewsgal

I will admit that it bothers me too. I am big on personal responsibility, and I don't think it is responsible to have unprotected sex when you are living with your parents and can't afford the two you have.

summerbrideDC

HeadCase:

BubblyToes:

I am not afraid to freely admit that things like this just make my jaded, bitter, infertile heart even blacker.

Especially this week.

I don't think there's a single person here who doesn't wish you were KTFU already. We're all heartbroken for you. 

But you know? This is not about you.  Other people having accidental or carelessly conceived pregnancies isn't about you. Some people get pregnant if they sneeze, others can't even with all the high tech fertility treatments available. It sucks but that's life.

Wow.  I guess your name says it all, doesn't it Headcase? What a b*tch.  

amanda&rob

Andrewsgal:

I will admit that it bothers me too. I am big on personal responsibility, and I don't think it is responsible to have unprotected sex when you are living with your parents and can't afford the two you have.

This.  But I also agree that now she is in this situation she needs to know what is available to her.  

BubblyToes

HeadCase:

BubblyToes:

I am not afraid to freely admit that things like this just make my jaded, bitter, infertile heart even blacker.

Especially this week.

I don't think there's a single person here who doesn't wish you were KTFU already. We're all heartbroken for you. 

But you know? This is not about you.  Other people having accidental or carelessly conceived pregnancies isn't about you. Some people get pregnant if they sneeze, others can't even with all the high tech fertility treatments available. It sucks but that's life.

That's nice.  Now why couldn't you post it under your real name?

 I know it's not ABOUT me, but when asked for my opinion, I'm going to give it to you.  

kittycarr

DandelionMom:

I don't consider medicaid "play(ing) the system."  I'm pretty sure it is for mothers/babies who can't afford insurance.  If she can afford insurance, she will be denied assistance.

I wouldn't go so far as to say "working the system" but there is some kind of failure in her brain somewhere to be without health insurance and have sex knowing damn well she can get pregnant.

shopgirl78

I kinda agree with Dande and Joy.....and I am the furthest thing from a bleeding heart liberal.  

I would rather pick fights about some persons receiving Tanif (welfare) and SSDI (for some BS reason).   

r9stedt

shopgirl78:

I would rather pick fights about some persons receiving Tanif (welfare) and SSDI (for some BS reason).   

SSDI/SSI for personality disorders is BS (for the most part).   Disability is such a hard process to actually receive it. 

cnybride2be

nah. it doesn't bug me.  i'd be bothered by a lot of mothers and their children if that were the case and i'm just not.

shopgirl_07

No, it honestly does not make me bitter and I don't worry about "my" tax dollars supporting people. I just don't.

What bothers me is people (both men and women) who bring children into poor situations. People who are struggling to financially, emotionally and physically support the children they do have and then irresponsibly bring more children into the world. 

EMT

Yes that post bothered me. Actually my first thought was "so glad you are from CA too!".

It wasn't like she was PG and then lost her insurance.

lucyfox

luckyluvr:

I figure it's not going to change anything to judge her. This baby didn't ask to be born, so why are we going to punish it for the poor choices of it's parents. Furthermore. I am a resident of the state she lives in and it's my tax dollars going to help her. I don't mind my money going to helping someone. It's the abusers who are on it for life I am irritated by. Everyone has hard times and life happens.

 

I'm a resident of the state she lives in too and it DOES bug me.  It's a bummer we all can't pick and choose where our tax dollars go to.  And like EMT said- it's not like she got pg and lost her insurance.  So yes gibs, I am most definitely BUGGED.