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We lost our little girl.

Skylarv217Skylarv217
in Multiples

Monday I was sent to the E.R. for a possible blood clot in my leg and the girls were checked. We thought they both had heart beats and saw them moving around on a portable u/s machine. That the Dr. just had a heard time finidng Baby A's heartbeat b/c of the small machine and they way they were laying.

I went to my follow up appointment with my Dr. yesterday and the U/S technician abruptly left the room after a few trys with baby A. I've still felt a lot of movement so I thought she was just being difficult. Baby B was going strong and wiggiling making it look like both babies were moving.

 My Dr Came in the room with the u/s tech and they both looked, she said they were having trouble finding it and that they had called my peri and he was expecting me. So i called my husband who didn't go with me for the first time since it was just a follow up to the E.R. and not a real "baby visit". 

My Peri and his staff was amazing he talked to me while doing the U/S as much as he could ( I think he was waiting for my Husband to make it to his office) and then he told us that it looks like our little girl passed away about 2 weeks ago. That there was no fluid around around her and she was about 2 weeks behind baby B in growth. He stressed that it was nothing I did. And that since they were in separate  placentas baby B has a wonderful chance of making in through to as a singleton. 

They are going to see me weekly to check on baby B and he talked to my husband about how men and women feel these losses differently and that is he see's me coming apart at the seems or being really worried about baby B to bring me in and the would be happy to do an U/S.

I Never knew i could feel so lost and broken and empty with a baby stll in me. She isn't a singleton baby! She has a sister and for whatever reason I couldn't do anything to keep her safe, I walked around for 2 weeks not knowing that anything was wrong and thinking I had two beautiful and healthy girls growing and moving inside of me.

Now I have one little girl to keep safe and I pray that she will continue to do well.  

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