This is crazy to think about, right?

cooker71

The ink has barely dried on my divorce decree, but I can't help but think at least a little bit about the future re: dating, etc.

I have two kids. One with special needs, Down syndrome. They're young kids too.

I don't know. I've been fighting back feelings of low self-esteem like who's going to even want to date me? Who's going to be able to handle something like that? You know??

TwoChickens

Its an overwhelming feeling.  I thought to myself "no one's gonna wanna date me.  I'm a mom to 2 young kids!"

 But you'll meet someone who's going to make you forget about all that and who's going to love your kids too.  It just takes time. 

r9stedt

Hey, I didn't even wait until the ink dried.  Just sayin'.  However, we were very CLEARLY separated, and I had already met with a lawyer.

belovedsoul

No it isn't crazy to think about that.  You are a beautiful strong amazing woman. Any man would be lucky to date you!!

DandR

not weird

someone will love you.

you are a great person.  Your kids are great.  There are good guys out there.

But I think you need a few rebound fvcs before the right one comes along...just sayin!

jettagurl

very crazy.  (by that I mean crazy to think that no one will want you....not crazy to worry about those things....I wanted to clarify that!) 

Anyone who is worth loving will love all of you (your kids), and love you even more for the mom that you are.  

I have zero doubt you'll find a stellar man.  

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

BubblyToes

I like what DandR said.

cooker71

DandR:

not weird

someone will love you.

you are a great person.  Your kids are great.  There are good guys out there.

But I think you need a few rebound fvcs before the right one comes along...just sayin!

LOL..love you. 

mamarazzi

Are you kidding?  You are a frigging CATCH!  There is no doubt in my mind there's someone out there who will love you...and your amazing children. 

hikerbeth

Dude, if I wasn't married, I'd date you.

gdemars

My real Dad left my Mom when I was less than a year old. My stepDad came into our lives when I was about 2.  He loved me more than my real Dad did.  He took me to the park, taugh me to tie my shoes, to ride a bike, was there when I had my first heartbreak over a boy, bought my prom dress (and wedding dress), held my hair back the first time I got sick from drinking too much , and walked me down the aisle when I got married.  And when that first marriage failed he was there to vent to and to cry on his shoulder. 

Just because you have kids doens't mean you're destined to be lonely.  It just means that when the right man comes along, you'll know sooner because of how he deals with/treats your kids. 

amanda&rob

I think you would be surprised.  I think that it is so common for people to be divorced with kids now that it isn't as "taboo" as it used to be, therefore people are much more open minded to date people with kids.

Not to mention you are a hot piece of.ass. 

cooker71

gdemars:

My real Dad left my Mom when I was less than a year old. My stepDad came into our lives when I was about 2.  He loved me more than my real Dad did.  He took me to the park, taugh me to tie my shoes, to ride a bike, was there when I had my first heartbreak over a boy, bought my prom dress (and wedding dress), held my hair back the first time I got sick from drinking too much , and walked me down the aisle when I got married.  And when that first marriage failed he was there to vent to and to cry on his shoulder. 

Just because you have kids doens't mean you're destined to be lonely.  It just means that when the right man comes along, you'll know sooner because of how he deals with/treats your kids. 

Thanks for this. 

beanzer

DandR:

not weird

someone will love you.

you are a great person.? Your kids are great.? There are good guys out there.

But I think you need a few rebound fvcs before the right one comes along...just sayin!

Ditto DandR 100%, well said!

emilykristene2006

gdemars:

My real Dad left my Mom when I was less than a year old. My stepDad came into our lives when I was about 2.  He loved me more than my real Dad did.  He took me to the park, taugh me to tie my shoes, to ride a bike, was there when I had my first heartbreak over a boy, bought my prom dress (and wedding dress), held my hair back the first time I got sick from drinking too much , and walked me down the aisle when I got married.  And when that first marriage failed he was there to vent to and to cry on his shoulder. 

Just because you have kids doens't mean you're destined to be lonely.  It just means that when the right man comes along, you'll know sooner because of how he deals with/treats your kids. 

 

Rebekah1021

Everyone wants to be with someone and to be loved.

I agree with DandR that you might need to score some booty but, there is someone perfect for you and the kids. 

r9stedt

gdemars:

My real Dad left my Mom when I was less than a year old. My stepDad came into our lives when I was about 2.  He loved me more than my real Dad did.  He took me to the park, taugh me to tie my shoes, to ride a bike, was there when I had my first heartbreak over a boy, bought my prom dress (and wedding dress), held my hair back the first time I got sick from drinking too much , and walked me down the aisle when I got married.  And when that first marriage failed he was there to vent to and to cry on his shoulder. 

Just because you have kids doens't mean you're destined to be lonely.  It just means that when the right man comes along, you'll know sooner because of how he deals with/treats your kids. 

:::tears:::

gdemars

r9stedt:

gdemars:

My real Dad left my Mom when I was less than a year old. My stepDad came into our lives when I was about 2.  He loved me more than my real Dad did.  He took me to the park, taugh me to tie my shoes, to ride a bike, was there when I had my first heartbreak over a boy, bought my prom dress (and wedding dress), held my hair back the first time I got sick from drinking too much , and walked me down the aisle when I got married.  And when that first marriage failed he was there to vent to and to cry on his shoulder. 

Just because you have kids doens't mean you're destined to be lonely.  It just means that when the right man comes along, you'll know sooner because of how he deals with/treats your kids. 

:::tears:::

I know eh?  I teared up writing it.  He really is a great guy.  I was/am very lucky. 

gdemars

cooker71:

gdemars:

My real Dad left my Mom when I was less than a year old. My stepDad came into our lives when I was about 2.  He loved me more than my real Dad did.  He took me to the park, taugh me to tie my shoes, to ride a bike, was there when I had my first heartbreak over a boy, bought my prom dress (and wedding dress), held my hair back the first time I got sick from drinking too much , and walked me down the aisle when I got married.  And when that first marriage failed he was there to vent to and to cry on his shoulder. 

Just because you have kids doens't mean you're destined to be lonely.  It just means that when the right man comes along, you'll know sooner because of how he deals with/treats your kids. 

Thanks for this. 

You are very welcome.  Hugs. 

sooosie

Coker, I know I didn't have the same sitch as you with the kids but I felt the exact same way after my divorce.  Ditto to whoever told you to get a rebound or three, though.  The right guy will come along and you will know.  And thanks to the kids, you'll know faster because of how he interacts with them.

Wow, am I repeating what someone else said?  Thanks $3.99 reisling.

Anyway - you got this! 

eclaires

Like gdemars, I am the product of a blended family w/ a fantastic stepfather. 

My sperm donor didn't want us anymore, because, you know, child support is expensive, yo, and he needed to spend his $ on his new family.  My mom had 3 young kids (we were under the age of 7), she was basically broke, and felt like sh*t because her husband had cheated on her.  She had to move home w/ the help of her parents - let's just say her self esteem wasn't the highest.

Anyway, she re-met my dad (yes, he's my dad, he adopted me but even before that he was my dad) because he had been a friend of my uncle's growing up.  They fell in love and have been married for 20 years, and their relationship is almost gross, they love each other so much.  I know I've told this story before, but the first Christmas they were dating, my mom was seriously broke and he came over on Christmas Eve for gifts for us from Santa.  

There are a lot of men out there who would be lucky to have you and your kids, coker.  Remember that.

Finally, in tearjerker stories - my parents were here when I had Scarlett, and as my dad was holding her in the hospital room, he said to me, "now I know how beautiful you were as a newborn."  It was really sweet, because he had once written in a card to me that he may not have rocked me as a newborn, but that I was his daughter in every way that mattered and that he loved me as much as he would have even if we would have shared those moments.

EdithBouvierBeale

so many good people!! oh my!

seriously, think of all of the awesome guys who have been waiting for the right down to earth girl- maybe they're coming out of an unsuccessful marriage themselves...maybe they have been focusing on other things, and are only now interested in serious relationships...good guys are out there- great ones!

your H is probably great- not right for you, but I'll bet he's also great in his own ways?

I see you as a great catch- not in an ass kissy telling you what you need to hear way- but really-

you're beautiful

independant

smart

you have kids already (lots of guys aren't particular about "having" their own

you know what you want

you're FUNNY!

omigod. you'll be complaining in no time about how to let them down easy.

 

wifetoawookie

I thought about dating pretty quickly too...partly because I had been unhappy for sooooooo long before we ever separated.  Pretty much as soon as my divorce was final (which was after we had lived separately for almost 8 months) I started dating again. 

Crazy as it sounds, and people can flame away for this, I was engaged 15 months later.  It was all VERY fast but I knew exactly what I was looking for after my marriage crashed and burned and I was lucky enough that it showed up on my doorstep.  I knew the first week that I met my (now) DH that I wanted to spend forever with him.  He is an awesome husband and an awesome Dad. 

You'll find your prince!  Don't feel bad about going out and looking for him a little!

DandelionMom

I think it is great that you're thinking about dating!  You're a super cool girl and you deserve to have some fun after everything you've been through lately!