TOT'ing and grandparents?

mandybeth01

Is anyone in a situation where the grandparents live close by for trick or treating? Do you all go together? I'm feeling conflicted about this. 

This is the first year we will be taking the boys around to trick or treat. My parents and my MIL live close by and of course want to participate. My issue is that my mom drives me crazy, is always trying to attract attention to herself, and I really don't want her walking around with us. I want it be about the boys, not her.

 Of course if she and my dad don't come then it wouldn't be fair for MIL to come either (my MIL is tons of fun and I would love her to come along). So what do I do? Figure out a polite way to tell them we are going TOT's just the boys, DH and I? Or let them all come along and try to ignore my mom's behavior?

Having family close by is a blessing most of the time but it can create issues at times like this.

veloelle

We only have one set of living g-parents, my mom and dad. They go TOT w/ us, and it's so much fun. But, my mom isn't an AW, so it is all bout the kids. Last year we went TOT early w/ DD, my parents and DD's bestie. We then went home and DD handed out candy w/ us. She had just as much fun handing out candy as TOT. You could ask them to meet at the house and do candy after just you and DH take her TOT?

Temp86398625009737

we go with dd's cousins and the grandparents (my parents live in Fl) meet at the house after for pizza and drinks so that way they see the kids but arent tagging along

jettagurl

I was also going to suggest the  idea of going, then setting a time for the grandparents to meet you back at the house and hand out candy (and maybe dinner as well).  I can't imagine TOTing with 2 kids and 6 adults..lol.  

Last year my SIL came over and stayed home with our twins (just about 2 mos old at the time) and handed out candy. I went with the older two and my niece around to the houses. MIL then stopped by to see them all dressed up.  

luckyluvr

My mom is like that, too. We will be going to our town's halloween parade and gathering for the little ones. Then we'll head to my mom's neighborhood for just her block of houses (1/2 hr. maybe). Then we'll leave her home and go to the IL's to TOT their neighborhood. It's been working the last 3 years, so it should be fine. We don't tell my mom we're going to the IL's b/c she'll get jealous and make a scene.

KoriBrett

All grandparents live within ten minutes of our house.  Our Halloween routine is to get the kids dressed up, pop in & say hi to FIL for a minute, pop over & say hi to MIL for a minute, go to my moms, chow pizza, and hit up her neighborhood. 

DH & I take the kids out, they all stay home & hand out candy.  Nobody goes with us so nobody can fight.  And it's well known that my mom's 'hood is better for tot-ing than the inlawseses.  ;-)

Zenya

I would go see the grandparents in her costume so they can see and then ToT alone.

SaraSmile

I am just honest with my parents.  Next weekend will be the 1st weekend in months that we have nothing to do and want to stay home as a family together.  My mom mentioned about coming to visit and I simply told her that we are looking forward to a weekend alone.  I love that I can be honest with my family.  My DH, on the other hand, has to lie to his mom all the time.  It drives me insane. 

mandybeth01

Thanks so much for these great ideas and honesty I like the idea of TOT'ing and then having the grandparents over after. I'm not sure if that will work in our situation but it definitely helps to hear how others do it.

mamarazzi

My parents and ILs live in the same city and the first couple years, we tried to involve them by bringing DS over in his costume.  It was a nightmare.  In and out of the car, in and out of the costume.  He was so pissy by the end of it all. 

This year, we decided to tell the grandparents they were welcome to come over prior to us leaving to Trick-or-Treat to have dinner and see the boys in their costumes.  We live in a really kid-friendly neighborhood and DS1 is old enough now to want to see his friends on Halloween, so we're staying put.  I'm pretty sure my parents won't come -- my dad's a douche and his choices usually overrule my mom's desires.  Who knows if my ILs will come or not.

mandybeth01

OK - I think my plan will be this: let them come over around 5 or so for pizza and cupcakes/cookies (I think both grandmas are bringing some - gotta love the competition!) Then we will take the boys out just DH and I to TOT while they stay at the house and hand out candy if they want. I don't expect to be out with the boys very long anyway.

Zenya

mandybeth01:

OK - I think my plan will be this: let them come over around 5 or so for pizza and cupcakes/cookies (I think both grandmas are bringing some - gotta love the competition!) Then we will take the boys out just DH and I to TOT while they stay at the house and hand out candy if they want. I don't expect to be out with the boys very long anyway.

You're nicer than me.  I'd be done with them after the cupcakes.  Have the rest of the night to yourselves! 

UGAbride

We're doing what you decided on...having our families over beforehand for dinner (my birthday is the next day, so kinda gets that out of the way too) for either chili or pizza and cupcakes, then they can see the boys get dressed up.  One of the grandmas or my brother and his wife will stay to hand out candy while we TOT for a bit with the boys.