is it really bad that i'm not excited at all...

happ17

...about this pg? Or, yet, I should say. DH is already looking for minivans. Maybe it was the 2 m/cs I has before PAC, or that it's so early, or that it was a completely unplanned surprise, but I'm not even remotely excited about it. I feel like a horrible person or that I have no maternal instinct. Tell me it'll get better.

ETA: and I feel even worse cuz I have friends IRL and here that are ttc like crazy. Like, my heart broke for bubs, seriously, and ffg when I found out. Ugh. 

mamarazzi

I felt the same way before I miscarried the pregnancy between the boys.  And then with DS2, it took me a long time to get excited.  I felt very detached from the pregnancy in general.  I came around, though, and he and I have a ridiculously strong bond.

Congrats again!  You'll get to a place where you're excited.  Don't beat yourself up about not being overcome with joy in the meantime.

EMT

I hate being PG and with #2 the whole "new-ness" factor to it all is not there. I didn't get any/much enjoyment out of the things that were sort of fun and different when I was PG with DD (i.e. baby's kicks, PG belly, etc.). But once DS was born, I fell in love again. And seeing the kids together is the best ever.

 

LizLovesJason

I wasn't too excited about my last pregnancy--maybe partly because I'd had a m/c just before it, and partly because I was way too busy chasing around my other 2 kids to even think much about it. But literally the instant I first laid eyes on DS when he was born, I was madly in love with him! He has turned out to be the sweetest, easiest, most adorable baby in the world. Trust me, once your baby is born, you'll have no trouble being excited!

peekaboo716

It's not bad at all. You said it yourself. This was a surprise, you've had bad experiences in the past, etc. And aren't you really busy with your job too. Plus, I agree with EMT that the "newness" of the experience (meaning every pg stage and change) is not there. That will have no bearing on how you will feel once this baby is born. You are a great mom. That you are concerned that you aren't excited secretly means you are - deep down.

Ciarrai

Honestly, that was me with all my PG.  With DD#1, she was unplanned...very unplanned...and I freaked out for the first few months.  It took a while for me to get excited.  DD#2 was unexpected but I was so overwhelmed by DD#1 (a year at the time) and morning sickness, I didn't know what to think for a while.  DS was planned (our only one) but then everything was so crazy with the girls and their lives, I half forgot I was PG.  That said, I got excited after a few months - especially after the 20w u/s and when the movement started.  And I fell in love the instant I met all of them.  They are amazing and as chaotic as my life is right now, I couldn't imagine our family without all three of them.  They adore each other and I adore them all.  They're all different and all so amazing.  So yes, it gets better and yes, it's ok even normal to feel that way right now.  I know what you mean about feeling guilty.  I went through that a lot with the girls too, but you can't change how your feel and it's not as if you don't wish with all your heart that your friends were PG too!