XP: baby wise and twins help!

mrs.cam

I am so overwhelmed by the twins right now. I just don't know how to manage two infants at the same time! I am trying hard to follow baby wise but I can't seem to get wake time and nap time to work out! If the babies are awake after eating they want to stay awake until the next feeding. If they are sleepy they won't wake up. (or if They do they won't go down for the nap after). The will literally cry off and on the whole time they are in their cribs or swings or whatever. Tandem feeding is impossible, and if I feed them separately I have one crying and one eating....I don't know how I am going to get through this short of hiring a nanny to help out. Anyone have any advice? I really can't see a light at the end of the tunnel. And I just keep thinking, why twins! Terrible I know.

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it's not easy - so not terrible!

find a way to feed at the same time that works for you- many women on here do it- in different ways... some lay babies in boppies on either side of you (on the floor or laying in bed)... and just burp one then the other, sometimes propping bottle while burping one.... I used to do that and just feed enough that the other was not upset while i was burping his brother b/c he was full enough to wait a minute for more

I preferred to have one in a boppy next to me on the couch, and one nestled in the crook of my leg, bent up on the couch- so my arms were both free... I managed this well and was often able to burp one leaning on my thigh while still hodling the bottle for the other --- it takes some practice.. don't be afraid to try out new things to see what works - you'll fail with some- but eventually find your groove.

it's quite possible you are waiting too long to put them down for naps if they are staying up that long and fussing.... my boys almost always napped between each feeding that early on - soemtimes it was only 15 min, sometimes almost 3 hours.  The key is learning their sleepy cues and getting them down BEFORE they get overtired - b/c then it's hard for them to fall asleep.  Again- it's a balancing act --- write down what you do each day and look for a pattern at the end of the week to see what is working and what is not.

do you swaddle? my boys liked being swaddled... early on i did it for naps- and then eventually only at night.  That helped them to know it was time to nap...  also putting on white noise helps... or soothing music.  Something they can associate with napping- sort of sets the brain for that.

let them sleep - i rarely woke them up... they usually woke right around 3 hours, sometimes 3.5... the few times i let them go to 4 hours between bottles they slept horribly at night - so I started to wake them at 3.5hours when needed, but it was rare.

My guys STTN at 8 weeks using BW from day 1 - we really did our best to maintain the schedule- being flexible when needed... don't stress when you go totally of schedule - sometimes they need that... just go with the flow and use the schedule as a guide to aim for each day - but again, write it down and see what is/isn't working... you might find that waking later in the am will help, or something like that.

HTH!

mrs.cam

Thanks Goldie! When I tandem feed I do the boppy thing but I feel like everyone is losing out! No cuddle time with mom for either baby, feels more rushed and hectic...my babies aren't very patient when they are eating! I guess I am just having some twin type of guilt. Not enough mommy to go around. How long was your wake time at this age? How do you keep them both awake through the whole feeding and after especially if you are dividing your time tandem feeding? I really hope my twins do so well by 8 weeks and I am really trying hard but I feel like I am just failing at accomplishing the necessary steps of the plan.

caden

Mine will also stay awake when they want to be awake and sleep when they want to sleep. I've noticed that every week has gotten a little more predictable though. I don't force them to stay awake after a feeding if they zonk out. When they stay awake I will *try* to put them down when I see their drowsy cues. Sometimes it works and they fall asleep. Sometimes they wake up the second their head hits the mattress and they end up staying awake til the next feeding. If that happens I usually continue playing with them until they get drowsy again. I just roll with what they do.

As for feeding, I had to have help for the first few weeks when they were super sleepy. I needed my hands to keep them awake. Now that they're older they don't fall asleep when they eat anymore so it's easier. I use boppies but will probably use bouncy seats or car seats when they're a little bigger. Feeding them one after other would take me forever b/c mine don't eat quickly. 

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it's a twin mom guilt thing to not have a lot of snuggle time feeding- i know.... but it's SOOO much easier to feed them at the same time when you can.  When someone is there to help- that's when you can do the single snuggle time feedings (that's what i did).... otherwise- I always tandem fed- one of them was not going to wait for the other... and i'd be feeding all day long if I didn't tandem feed.

early on is hard to predict... but as caden said- it gets easier as they get older... and eventually they'll just take 2 naps/day and be really good about schedules - and life = a lot more "calm"