Foster Mommies- I need some help

joeandkristie

So we are coming up on the 1 year mark since we received our license to become foster parents.  In this year we have had 8 children in our home.  As of yesterday it looks like our three week old princess (our 8th placement) will be going to her father's home if the homestudy passes.  I know it has only been a year in this process but we are working on three years of trying one way or another to adopt and it is getting very discouraging.  For those of you who do foster did you have alot of placements before your forever baby came into your home? 

We are going to continue on with the journey even though it is not the easiest road traveled.  Just looking for a light on the dark path I am on right now.  I treasure each of you even though we have never met.  Each one of you are special ladies doing special things each day in the lives of children. 

 

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lilmufish

We are in the same boat.  Like you, we have had a few placements, and none of them have turned into our forever children.    I look at another family who got licensed at a similar time (a few months after) and they're finalizing their adoption in December.  I'm not sure why it's easier for some than others?

While I'm saddened because it's not the initial path I thought I was going down, I wouldn't trade the past year for anything.  I feel like I'm exactly where I need to be. 

Vegasgirl80

I have really found that it varies so much from county to county- we have a lot of infants in our county- may have something to do with it being Vegas- their are a lot babies found in hotel rooms (so sad!) Our FD was our first and only placement- and we should be finalizing the adoption begainning of 2011.

It is not an easy road no matter what kind of placement it is, I have talked to so many foster parents through the foster parent association we are members of, some had easier roads then others, but in the end its all worth it. Hang in there! Hugs!

ctbride08

It really just comes down to luck of the draw.  I expected our experience to be much like yours...multiple shorter-term placements and for it to take a while before we found a forever child.  But, as it turned out, we've been licensed almost a year and have had the same sibling pair the entire time.  Not that we are anywhere near talking of adoption, and RU is still very much the goal, but there is at least a small chance they will be ours forever.

You just never really know where the case is going to go when you get that call.  I can imagine how hard and fustrating the past year has been for you, but keep up the faith and know that every day and every placement brings you closer to finding your perfect forever match.

amazingkel

This may get long, and I apologize in advance. We became foster parents in 2007.  We had four children in our home between March 2007 and October 2007.  Each one of those children, we would have adopted if given the opportunity.  Unfortunately, none became available.  It broke my heart.  Then we were placed with Isaiah, our DS who we adopted in Nov 2009.  It was a long, brutal process though to get to that point.  For many months we thought he was going to go live with a grandmother of his, then the dad came back in the picture and wanted him, then the dads mom wanted him, then some long lost relative in another state wanted him.  Eventually, everything worked out and he ended up staying with us.  He was placed in our home on Oct 31, 2007 and we did not finalize our adoption until Nov 30, 2009.

After we adopted him, we took some time to think about whether or not we wanted to continue fostering.  It had been such a great experience, but mentally and physically draining at times.  We decided in Jan 2010 to give up our license at that time, and focus more on expanding our family by getting pregnant.  That was when the whirlwind of finding out that DH has MFI, and now we are looking at adoption again.  I got back into contact with the woman who originally did our homestudy and licensing, and explained our situation to her.  They actually A. wont license a foster home now if your INTENT is to adopt, and B.  They are only accepting ADOPTIVE home applications for people interested in adopting an older child from foster care.  She actually told me that if a young child or baby is placed with you as a foster placement, they are working towards transitioning the child into an adoptive home (not yours) when the child becomes available for adption and strictly only using their foster homes to foster.  It sucks in my eyes.  But, whatever. 

My best advice to you, is to remember that you were able to touch that childs life for the time they were with you.  Let yourself grieve when they leave.  Eventually, the situation that is meant to work out for you and your family will.  Good luck!

hoping4more

I have no advice as i am just at the almost licensed point but I am sorry you are in that boat.

come*on*baby

as you know, we've had many placements. It was 2 years before we were even presented with a child available for adoption and he was in another foster home. I know how hard it is to wait. Looking back, I'm glad it took so long because our boys are awesome!