Advice needed re: daycare drop-off, traveling DH

Mrs.Handy

So this may get kind of long.

Background: We live near Shirlington in Arlington. DH works in Alexandria off of Seminary Road and I work in L'Enfant Plaza. DH handles the daycare drop-off now, this is what we always planned to do. The DCP lives off Seminary near Alexandria Inova. I take public transportation to get to work: Metrobus to the Pentagon. I've driven to work in DC once for the 4 1/2 years I've been working in the city. The govt pays for my Metro benefits so it really makes sense to just take the Metro.

 There are two parts:

- DH will be away for a night for work Wednesday night so I need to take DS to daycare. There are a few buses within the vicinity of our DCP's house, the most convenient (goes straight to the Pentagon) is half a mile away. I'm wondering whether I should park in front of DCP's house and walk to the bus stop or drive closer to find street parking closer to the bus stop. Or should I just suck it up and drive to work? I have no idea where I would find parking and have a feeling it would be really expensive. Add traffic into that and yuck.

-So the second part is that DH is going to be away interviewing for a job that will require some travel (probably a day or two every two weeks). It will pay more but I'm not sure how much more (at least $10K more). I encouraged him to apply because it would be a step up and he deserves it after all his hard work. But now, I'm wondering whether the sacrifices will be worth it. Ladies, how do you balance when your DH travels? I'm afraid I will grow resentful towards him because it's not like he will be making that much more, but I will have to care of DS by myself and it's going to make our already stressful lives more stressed.

Thanks for reading. Advice please.  

DCtoLowcountry

1. 1/2 mile to the bus stop = 10 minute walk, yes? For me I'd take a sure thing parking in front of DCP's house, walk to the bus stop, and take public transport. I'd also do a dry run one morning when you have some extra time to see if street parking closer is feasible.

2. While it's not the same as overnight travel, DH has a job that requires late nights once or twice a week, so I'm responsible for evening pickups and activities those days plus the mornings after since DH is toast. We work to trade off so that DH gets primary other mornings and evenings and I get a break. I do resent it sometimes, but I can't argue with a happy employed DH since that is such a blessing. I also make it a point to plan occasional kid-free activities for dinner with a girlfriend or happy hour so DH does solo coverage, too. And, since the new job is just a possibility right now, you can cross that bridge when you come to it. GL!

mommmyz

1. I'd park at daycare and walk too...I'd just get too nervous about the unknown parking situation, unless you can talk to coworkers before then and get some ideas.

 2. DH has just started traveling more for work, and when he goes he's gone a week at a time (4 - 6 weeks in the whole year). I am SO lucky, because my parents are in the area and we have a great relationship, so they help a lot. But it is hard when DH is gone all week, comes back tired (he travels internationally so has jet lag) and I really feel like I have done it all. Lots of respect for single moms! It helps some to remind myself that he's lost lots of time with DS, I was so lucky to have that time, etc...and that we are SO lucky he has a job. Like pp I try to schedule some "girl nights" for the weekend after he gets back, to get some time to myself. I also tend to enjoy the first couple nights he's gone. Don't get me wrong, I love him to death...but sometimes complete peace and quiet to do my own thing after DS goes to bed is great!

 

Mrs.Handy

Thanks ladies for the input and advice. It's hard because this is still up in the air. But it's such a conundrum because DH wants this promotion (the job is with the same company) and is stressing about his interview, however I'm secretly hoping he doesn't get it because I don't want to disrupt the status quo. I feel guilty about it.

I talked to one of my coworkers and she said she pays $7 to park down the street so I think I might do that. It seems it would be worth the few extra dollars to drive to work. But I'll probably assess 395 N traffic that morning and go from there.

I definitely have great respect for single moms. When my sis and I were babies (we're twins), my Dad was gone for 6 months at a time in the Navy. I don't know how my Mom did it.

Artslvr

Parking in L'Enfant should be OK if you get there fairly early.  The downtown garages fill up pretty quickly and it's about $18 - $20 for the day.  I would do it once if I had to. And traffic for you from Shirlington is not going to be that bad.  I used to live in Parkfairfax and driving in felt like such a burden when I had to do it, but now that I live in Springfield, I yearn for the days where only had to be on 395 from Glebe Rd into DC.

As for your second question however, I wouldn't want to spend $18 every few weeks, so I would drive and do the drop off and park near your DCP's house and walk to the bus.  After doing it a few times you'll find out which is better - park near her house or near the bus. 

I am a fan of taking the bus/train whenever I can for the same reason - since it's paid for by Uncle Sam.

My DH's daily work schedule is the total opposite of predictable (he has clients in DC, MD and VA and even when he sets his week's schedule, he may have to suddenly go to a different client site if there is a pressing issue) so we do all sorts of versions of drop offs and pick ups for the girls, most of which involve me taking the Metrobus or Metrorail.  Sometimes I don't know until 4:00 pm what the pick up deal is going to be.  And when he goes out of town, that does throw a wrench in things, but you just figure it out.

The best thing to do for me is telecommute on days I know he'll be out of town - that's the ideal but of course not always an option.  But for this one time thing coming up, maybe ask your employer about telecommuting that day?

ETA: $7 for the day - that's amazing!  I'd totally drive for that!  All the garages around me are more than twice that for the day.

 

amh_navyblue

Totally agree with PPs and I would add that I think it's important to cut yourself some slack when DH is gone.  Dinner does not have to be the best most nutritious thing ever...or if you skip a bath one night in the spirit of getting the LO to bed on time and you some much needed down time, then so be it!  Keeping the energy level up when it's all up to you is not easy!