Thoughts on starting daycare at age 2 vs. age 2.5?

LucyPevensie

Jack is going to be going to daycare 2 days a week.  The question is... when.

Scenario One:

I could potentially start him as early as December.  This makes me feel panicked and anxious - for 3 reasons: 1) He's never been in daycare - when I'm at work 4 days a week my mom watches him here in my home.  2) I haven't come across a daycare I love.  Maybe I won't, I don't know.  I visited one that seemed fine and truly, the kids seemed happy, but it was a little rundown looking (housed in a church.)  I'm visiting another one on Monday.  3) I can't imagine him napping in a daycare setting - he is, um, very spoiled in terms of me/my mom when it comes to napping.  That's just how we roll. 4) I am afraid he will cry and be terrified and miserable and never adjust because he is old.  Especially only going 2 days a week - will it ever become "routine" for him? 

(oops that was 4 reasons.)

Scenario Two:

I could wait until June to start him.  Not ideal - my mom is looking to go down to 2 days a week with him, sooner rather than later.  But in June - the daycare I do feel (pretty) good about has a spot for him.  He's been on the list for a few months already, but no one is budging from Toddler room until June at this point.  HOWEVER .. in June - he'll be 2 and a half.  I don't know if that's good or bad. Will older = even LESS likely to adjust?  Or will it = MORE excited about the fun and new friends and more able to understand "mama will be back, everything's fine."  Also gives me more time to attempt some nap modification techniques...

I don't know what to do.  I am very freaked out and anxious (what else is new.)  But this all came up rather suddenly.  My mom WILL stick it out until June - she would never ditch him and force me to do something I felt really upset about.  But it's not ideal. 

There is a third scenario - in which I talk to my boss about a more flexible schedule that allows me to consolidate my hours into 3 days a week rather than 4 (leaving my mom watching him 3 days instead of 4 but she has indicated that's do-able for her) but it's a longshot. 

Help.  You guys are smart.  Please weigh in, I appreciate your insight and thoughts as I mull all of this over.  Thanks mamas!  

yankee42

hmmmmmmm. SO hard to say...the boys changed SO much from 2 to now (almost 2.5  

now they are so excited about doing fun, new things...but bigger changes in schedule and stuff are affecting them more...at 2, they were waaay more easy going..just kinda did, and didn't really know they had a say so..

nowadays free will is running rampant, haha..so that might be a monkey wrench in the works not any really advice, just telling you what my guys have been like 

howleyshell

Honestly?  At 2 days a week I think you'd be fine starting at age 2 and respecting your Mom's needs.

For full time I'd prefer to wait until 2.5.

My main issue with daycare is that I prefer my kids to be as verbal as possible when they start so I can hear about their day from them.

At 2.5 with Jace we're still doing the nanny and it's something you may want to consider if you're not 100% comfortable with the daycare concept.

I think by 3 they really appreciate and need the interaction of socializing with other kids on a regular basis.  (this coming from a mom who didn't start her oldest in pre-school until age 4, funny, huh?) 

 

I know this is freaking you out and I totally understand that however you need to keep in mind that it's only 2 days a week.  You will still be his primary care provider.  The extra 2 days will be something different and fun as long as you frame them that way.  Transitioning to day care has as much to do with how you frame it as with what he actually thinks of it once they're verbal.

Get him a back pack.  Talk up "school".  Get books about going to school.  Lllama Momma Misses Mamma is one of our favorites on going to school and having Mom leave you there.  Talk about the fun kinds of things you get to do in school.  Start now - regardless of when you're going to start him.  The longer you build "school" up as something fun and normal the easier your transition will be.  And remember.... it will be WAY harder on you than him.  He's gonna be having fun and distracted by all kinds of new toys and friends.  

We made such a big deal out of it that Dylan couldn't wait to start school and he loves it.

Jace has heard all the build up and now he's chopin at the bit.

 

howleyshell

Honestly?  At 2 days a week I think you'd be fine starting at age 2 and respecting your Mom's needs.

For full time I'd prefer to wait until 2.5.

My main issue with daycare is that I prefer my kids to be as verbal as possible when they start so I can hear about their day from them.

At 2.5 with Jace we're still doing the nanny and it's something you may want to consider if you're not 100% comfortable with the daycare concept.

I think by 3 they really appreciate and need the interaction of socializing with other kids on a regular basis.  (this coming from a mom who didn't start her oldest in pre-school until age 4, funny, huh?) 

 

I know this is freaking you out and I totally understand that however you need to keep in mind that it's only 2 days a week.  You will still be his primary care provider.  The extra 2 days will be something different and fun as long as you frame them that way.  Transitioning to day care has as much to do with how you frame it as with what he actually thinks of it once they're verbal.

Get him a back pack.  Talk up "school".  Get books about going to school.  Lllama Momma Misses Mamma is one of our favorites on going to school and having Mom leave you there.  Talk about the fun kinds of things you get to do in school.  Start now - regardless of when you're going to start him.  The longer you build "school" up as something fun and normal the easier your transition will be.  And remember.... it will be WAY harder on you than him.  He's gonna be having fun and distracted by all kinds of new toys and friends.  

We made such a big deal out of it that Dylan couldn't wait to start school and he loves it.

Jace has heard all the build up and now he's chompin at the bit.

 

And the napping thing?  Don't sweat it.  The teachers are pro's.  They've delt with resistant nappers a-plenty before meeting him.  You'd be amazed at how cooperative they can be when it comes down to peer pressure.  When he sees everyone else napping chances are he'll get with the program rather quick. 

 

skoorbnibor

If it were me, and my mom was cool with it, i'd wait til 2.5. He has his whole life to learn and be part of the crowd, but only this time to be a little one with his grandmother and mom. 

I am totally projecting, but I am in no hurry for E to grow up and he is learning a ton home with me, why be in a hurry to change it?  

 

Mr.&MrsS

Honestly, I think for a child who has never been to day care it is going to be a big adjustment at 2 or 2.5. I dont see that changing too much with his age. But, even at 2 days a week, I think after a couple of weeks he will adjust. The first couple of weeks might be hard, but it will get better from there. As for naps, day care will have the benefit of other kids napping too and he might be willing to sleep there. At day care Brady naps on a cot (hes still in a crib at home), actually sleeps for about an hour and a half, and likes it. At home, he wont nap anymore. He does things, and eats things, at day care that he would never do at home because all the other kids are doing it. While it is hard for you, I think he would do great at day care at age 2.

The only thing is, I would want to wait for a spot at the day care that I really liked and felt comfortable with. I wouldnt want to send my child somewhere that I didnt feel 100% confident with.

CMM05

Connor started nursery school at 22 months. He had never been in any daycare/school setting. It was the BEST decision ever.

He became much more verbal and learned so much! I even started him 3 days a week. He went 2 half days and when he turned 2.5 we went to 2 half and 1 full day. He LOVES it.

I think you might be surprised about him being terrified. Most kids are fine after the first couple days. He will love playing with other kids and playing with "new" toys

The  napping might be an issue, but again, it will work itself out and its only 2 days a week.

GL!

 

RoxBride

I think you have to respect your mom's wishes.  Asking her to keep up with the current arrrangement for another 8-9 months just because you know she wouldn't force the issue, well, that just seems unkind for you Mom unless you have very serious issues why you need her care.

Napping, well, that will resolve itself at the school.  My DD attends PDO one day a week, and they are so on the go that by the time naptime rolls around at 1, they are all out like a light, even all the kids whose parents say they are horrible nappers. 

Is the only thing that bothers you about the preschool with openings the setting?  I would look at the playground equipment and see if it looks to be in good shape, and check out the bathrooms to see if they are clean.  If so, I don't think I'd worry too much about the place looking run down, it is just the nature of some church programs that they probably can't afford to put in new carpet every year.