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Parenting
Got this email from SIL. now I need suggestions
I got this email from my SIL and honestly, now I need suggestions for Xmas gifts. Keep in mind, she's VERY anti-American government/big business.and well, Anti-American in general. She's only tolerable of me because I married her brother. It doesn't come through in the message, but this isn't as much about her being 'green' as it is about big business. Given her very specific and limiting request, I need ideas. I'm not being snarky, although I do think she's a whackadoo for lots of other reasons, I really do not know what to get her kids besides gift cards now. Her DD will be 3 in Jan and her DS will be 1 next week. any suggestions?
Hello! I know that it isn't even Halloween yet but I wanted to get a feel for what we were doing this year again for Christmas.
We appreciate anything we receive but because of our beliefs we would like to ask in advance that the gifts be limited to either clothes, books, dvds or an educational toy that does not require batteries. It's quite a simple request really and one that doesn't take too much thought, and may make shopping a bit easier! I could even go as far as to say that it would be great if the gift was made in either Canada or the USA but that may be difficult, as sad as that is. If you want to know more about the why, feel free to ask and I can let you know in a more detailed reply. If it doesn't matter to you or you think we are being a bit picky that is ok and probably a normal reaction to such a request! I just hope that it will be respected regardless. Thanks everyone!
ps. I guess this is more directed at mom and dad since they are the ones who buy most of our kids gifts at Christmas. We just want to do our best at conserving mom! We are also participating in our local toy drive so most of the kids' toys we have now will be donated this year. Probably everything not educational, besides Kenna's ponies and a few stuffed animals, will be going. Christine had a great gift idea for Makenna. I'm pretty sure she will be getting a wooden dollhouse. Great for imaginative play, not mass produced (less energy involved), and reusable or recyclable. Please be a smart consumer this year! Our world needs more of them, especially during the great season of giving!
xoxoxoxo
ps. I guess this is more directed at mom and dad since they are the ones who buy most of our kids gifts at Christmas. We just want to do our best at conserving mom! We are also participating in our local toy drive so most of the kids' toys we have now will be donated this year. Probably everything not educational, besides Kenna's ponies and a few stuffed animals, will be going. Christine had a great gift idea for Makenna. I'm pretty sure she will be getting a wooden dollhouse. Great for imaginative play, not mass produced (less energy involved), and reusable or recyclable. Please be a smart consumer this year! Our world needs more of them, especially during the great season of giving!
xoxoxoxo
Christmas 2009
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Got this email from SIL. now I need suggestions
I'd just do books, but I do often do books for my niece and nephew because they love books (and so do my sister and I).
Alex (11/14/06) and Nate (5/25/10)
"Want what you have, do what you can, be who you are." - Rev. Forrest Church
That email deserves a "in lieu of a gift, a donation has been made in your name to the Human Fund."
I was in TJ Maxx today and they had some nice wooden toys.
I hate "requests" like that........ It's one thing to offer suggestions about gifts if someone asks, but the whole "buy my children the gifts I ask for" irritates me....
Anyway, puzzles would be a great option for the three year old and board books for the one year old. Melissa and Doug makes excellent puzzles.
In other words, all the gifts you gave us before are now being donated.
Get them some vegetable/flower seeds (organic) and some grow pots. Nice & festive. Actually, search recycled or organic on Etsy, you'll get all kinds of stuff.
Adopt a wolf in their name or something.
What a witch. "We're donating everything that you gave us before, because it doesn't meet our tightassed standards."
DS - December 2006
DD - December 2008
I would probably get the 3yr old girl a book and this tea set:
https://www.amazon.com/Green-Toys-Tea-Set/dp/B001543YEY/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1287773729&sr=8-1
and I would get the 1yr old boy a book and this truck:
https://www.amazon.com/Green-Toys-DTK01R-Dump-Truck/dp/B001Q3KU9Q/ref=sr_1_3?ie=UTF8&qid=1287773729&sr=8-3
Both products are fun toys & they are made of 100% recycled milk containers. Plus, they are made in the USA. I think you can get $5 off if you spend $20 on green toys products thru amazon.com too.
eta: I agree that her emailing about it sucks but I would try to follow it for the kids. I actually got my dd this tea set for Christmas too. It's the same one that is sold at Pottery Barn kids. It was just a bonus that it was green. Good luck!
whew. I'm so glad I'm not alone on this one. She is definitely a nutjob! she's also one of those people who thinks 9-11 was a conspiracy by the govt. She believes in UFOs and thinks that the govt is hiding some knowledge of life form on other planets.
Last year she fiiled bankruptcy, foreclosed on her house, took a year for maternity leave, her boyfriend quit his job, they sold both cars...all because the govt 'owes' her. She's entitled. now she looks to everyone else to drive her ass around and care for and clothe her kids. Same SIL who asked me for all my hand me downs from DS even though there are 2 years between them and got mad at me when i said I'd be selling them at a m2m first and she could have what i didn't sell. never once offered her hand me downs for dd. ugh. I put on my happy face for MILs sake.
What about this alphabet and number cookie cutter set ?
I plan on doing something similar for my twin nephews. (and a whooole bunch of playdough just to be a snatch.
)
https://www.target.com/Fox-Run-36-pc-Alphabet-Numerals/dp/B000U6AKYK
Wow, that's expensive for cookie cutters. You can get 100 piece set for about $10-15 at BB&B, and it includes letters, numbers, and shapes for every holiday.
And it's plastic, which would nicely piss off the crackpot.
DS - December 2006
DD - December 2008
I haven't looked to be honest. I just googled and that was at the top .
I think most Melissa & Doug toys are made in China.
I agree, she sounds like a ton of fun.
I thought that my SIL was bad when we got a little of five options to buy for both christmas and birthday but it is cakewalk compared to this.
I think that the tea set and dump truck (mentioned above) are great options. That way you are still giving the kids something fun but they also follow the guidelines of made in the US, green, and good for imaginative play.
Bless her heart!
Holy smolly, She is super picky about stuff that will only be donated in the future anyway and thinks it takes less energy to make a dollhouse that is not mass produced? I fear for you.
I would get the little one Alphie and the big one a toy lap top. At least when they get donated another kid can enjoy them. Or you could go with the height of conservation and pick up something at the thrift store and tell her that after reading her mail, you were inspired to conserve too.
Ha! I would buy them clothes from Walmart. Just kidding...
I'm not sure what I would do. I strongly dislike being told what I can get someone. I might be tempted to donate to a charity in their honor instead.
LMAO! I heart Seinfeld!
I guess she certainly knows what she believes, huh?!
The green toys pp linked to are adorable and well made (DS has a few and they are great). Also like Kori's idea of garden stuff (seeds, organic soil, handmade pots from an etsy vendor, etc).
Another option - is there an "experience" gift you could give to them - a museum of natural history or a botanical garden with a children's area?
One other option - donate a pig/sheep/chicken in the family's name - a reputable site for this:
https://www.heifer.org/site/c.edJRKQNiFiG/b.204586
Oh, and the passive aggressive biotch in me would want to send her a similar email back asking for a bunch of battery-operated, made in China, plastic crap.
If you have change your beliefs to fit her request, she can practice the same... (ETA: KIDDING, of course...)
While her delivery made have been rude I don't see a problem with her sentiment at all. What's the point of making a big deal out of it? Just get a simple gift that fits her values and be done with it- it's really not that hard and not worth the energy to fight it or be passive aggressive. After all, why punish the kids for their mother's lack of couth?
Those Green Toys are great- all made in USA of recycled plastic, reasonably priced and readily available.
You also can never go wrong with books. Or, maybe a bunch of art supplies (pads of recycled drawing paper!), paints, etc. are something open-ended and creative enough for her.
I also second the idea of giving an experience rather than a gift. Perhaps a trip to a museum or maybe even purchase the family a state-park pass.
If you'd rather shop online here are a few of my favorite sites that sell things that could potentially work well:
https://www.novanatural.com/
https://thegreennursery.com/wooden-toys-natural-organic.html (careful of the Melissa and Doug stuff though, it is all MIC.)
https://www.ecotimetoys.com/
Also, if you're anywhere near a Buy, Buy, Baby they have a surprisingly decent selection of eco-friendly toys as well. I've also found that museum gift shops are good places to find unique toys.
I completely agree with this. She might sound crazy but at least she is honest. If you buy something that doesn't fit her parenting, it most likely will be donated, the kids will never see it, and YOUR money will be wasted.
I would rather buy something that I know the person wants/values. I hate thinking that the person got rid of it as soon as possible.
Really? You'd withhold stuff from your niece or nephew just because their mother doesn't have manners? I seriously don't understand why anyone would take it out on the kids; it's not their fault!
So I have a really annoying SIL, who would do something like this, and I head her off at the pass. I always buy her kids eco-friendly toys, or give them experience gifts without her prompting it.
Anyway, I do this because I do not want to f*cking listen to her spiels on this type of thing - she always thinks she's going to "educate" me somehow on everything related to parenting and it irritates me. Like I don't have kids the same age as her and have never read anything about kids or parenting. I get pleasure out of her kids opening the gifts and her being like, OMG I've never heard of this brand, but how amaaaaaazing! (last year I bought the kids Green Toy stuff linked above) It usually means then that she doesn't subject me or MH to her "plastic toys are the devil," lecture. Win/win.
OMG, love this. But I will say that if I only saw the request part and not about how she is giving away all non-educational gifts and without your background comments I would not think it was an insane request. I love the idea of being green even though our house is cover in FP toys! There are tons of toys that do not require batteries, Melissa and Doug, Haba, Plan Toys, Green Toys, etc. Erector sets I believe are still made in the USA but I think they start at age 4. Not sure what you plan to spend and what they already have but wooden unit blocks are a big fav at our house (the Melissa and Doug ones but Plan toys has awesome ones) or Legos/Duplos. Also check out Etsy for ideas, felt food that is made in the USA with eco felt. Of course there are books but I think cool toys are better...unless you dare to get the savings bond!
I'm not commenting on your SIL and the gifts bc that was already covered pretty well, but I feel lost on something...how is her request "anti-american"? It does totally sounds like she is super into the environment and being Green. I would never guess her values were elsewhere from this email....esp as she is actually requesting the toys be made in the USA. I feel like I'm missing something.
She does sound like a PITA though..I'll give you that
Yeah, her email is a little off-putting, but I don't understand: How is it unamerican that she wants the toys made in the USA?
I wasn't making a big deal about it. I was only asking for suggestions and green gift ideas.
I can see why you would think that from this email which is why I made sure to include the part about being anti-USA. Her email in and of itself isn't anti-USA. We live in a border town. DH moved to the states after we got married. The rest of his family is all in Canada on the other side of the river
Keep in mind, she's VERY anti-American government/big business.and well, Anti-American in general. She's only tolerable of me because I married her brother. It doesn't come through in the message, but this isn't as much about her being 'green' as it is about big business.
Also, did you see my post within the thread about her views on 9-11 and UFO conspiracies and the government hiding their info, and her blaming her credit card debt on the government?
She's not all that green either. She and her DH have more gadgets than inspector gadget and she added the made in USA part for my sake. her boyfriend is in a band and the only thing organic about him is the pot he smokes. .
I actually like the idea of a savings bond, but well, that won't work in Canada. Maybe I'll just give them cash for their collge funds. boo.
She's Canadian. So is DH. We live a bridge/tunnel away and where she grew up it was more likely you'd associate with the US than Canada...by that I mean, you liked Detroit sports teams, watch Detroit/American TV, etc. She met a guy a few years ago who is even wackier than she is and that's when she became brainwashed into being the way she is now. Sad really and the whole family feels the way I do, not just me. Not that that matters... Now I feel like I'm defending myself and that really wasn't the intention. Sorry for the added explanation.
Wait, she has a husband AND a boyfriend?
hahaha, no. Did I say that? whoops!! It's her boyfriend. They're not married, but they have 2 kids together and live together and have been engaged for 2 years, They'll never marry because they don't need a piece of paper to show how much they love each other. you get it...although when MIL offered to pay for them to go to the JP to make it official she said she'd take the offer to pay if MIL would send them to Hawaii instead. I told you...whackadoo.
let's say you are going to spend $20 on each kid. I'd get them each a $10 book and then put the other $10 in a bank account just for them. Think of it as a therapy fund -- they will need it.
You take my ovaries, I take your yarns.