Over the top?

Lyons_in_2007

Do you think it would be too extreme to *demand* that my family and DH's family get both a flu shot and the Tdap vaccine before the baby in born?  Is that acceptable to ask? 

To clarify - if/when DH's family comes, after DS2 is born, I'm sure they'll expect to stay with us.

jerseygirl81

I don't think it's acceptable to ask, but I also don't think it's acceptable for them to expect to stay at your house. I would say no to staying at your house and just keep a ton of sanitizer around. If they're sniffly just say hands off.

chrissyrph

Nope.  I'm a big meanie, and I made anyone in the family who wanted to watch her get one   I wasn't taking any chances b/c she was too young for a shot last flu season. FWIW, no one protested.  Good luck!

Mrs.Babbsy

I made my family get it last year if they wanted to see the babies!

Meg41208

You could always give them Walgreens flu shot gift cards for Halloween.  

Lyons_in_2007

jerseygirl81:

I also don't think it's acceptable for them to expect to stay at your house.

I tend to think half of what they think/expect/do isn't acceptable; but I digress...

Lyons_in_2007

Meg41208:

You could always give them Walgreens flu shot gift cards for Halloween.  

::dead::

ETA:  Now you've fed my OCD brain.  Would it be acceptable to give said giftcards to EVERY.SINGLE.CHILD in our neighborhood during ToT?  I will singlehandedly create herd immunity within my bubble, thus protecting my child. 

jerseygirl81

Meg41208:

You could always give them Walgreens flu shot gift cards for Halloween.  

Now that would be something spectacular.

I have to say that if a friend of mine told me that I had to get a flu shot before I could see her baby then I'd probably just wait until flu season was over. I'd like to say that I wouldn't be bitter about it, but I haven't found myself in that situation yet.

Aside from that, the flu shot isn't foolproof, and they could always miss the strain combination, so even if they get it that doesn't mean you're necessarily in the clear.

chrissyrph

Meg41208:

You could always give them Walgreens flu shot gift cards for Halloween.  

hehehe

Meg41208

Lyons_in_2007:

Meg41208:

You could always give them Walgreens flu shot gift cards for Halloween.  

::dead::

ETA:  Now you've fed my OCD brain.  Would it be acceptable to give said giftcards to EVERY.SINGLE.CHILD in our neighborhood during ToT?  I will singlehandedly create herd immunity within my bubble, thus protecting my child. 

Instead of candy, the Lyonses will be handing out travel packs of Kleenex and Purel this Halloween. 

hannah&ben

**peeking through fingers**

You can ask, and they may even get the shots, and they may or may not ever become ill.

However, that doesn't mean there can't/won't be nasty flu and pertussis germs all up in the noses and all over the hands of seemingly healthy people to spread to baby.  Vaccines don't kill germs.

The best thing to do is not allow anyone with obvious sickness around baby and make everyone else scrub in like a surgeon.  And breastfeed if you can.  And get a bubble for the baby.

I hate germs.

-h

ps - I'm not here. You can't see me.

Superchicy

Lyons_in_2007:

Meg41208:

You could always give them Walgreens flu shot gift cards for Halloween.  

::dead::

ETA:  Now you've fed my OCD brain.  Would it be acceptable to give said giftcards to EVERY.SINGLE.CHILD in our neighborhood during ToT?  I will singlehandedly create herd immunity within my bubble, thus protecting my child. 

Haha! 

Honestly, it does seem a bit over the top, but I also don't think people should expect to stay with you and your newborn.   I was just pretty vigilant about who got to hold her and we didn't have many visitors in the beginning so she didn't get passed around much.  Anybody sick or who had immediate family who was sick was not allowed anywhere near her.

Lyons_in_2007

jerseygirl81:

I have to say that if a friend of mine told me that I had to get a flu shot before I could see her baby then I'd probably just wait until flu season was over. I'd like to say that I wouldn't be bitter about it, but I haven't found myself in that situation yet.

Aside from that, the flu shot isn't foolproof, and they could always miss the strain combination, so even if they get it that doesn't mean you're necessarily in the clear.

I guess the way I see it, they have one of two options - get the vaccine (to allay my fears) or don't come around.  My baby, my anxiety, my choice.  You know I don't fear bitter.    Oh, and I wouldn't expect/demand it of my friends.  Somehow, family is different in my book. 

Completely understood; but if someone I know is going to carry around a loaded weapon, I'd rather the safety lock remain on.  While I'm never going to be all warm and fuzzy around the gun, the safety lock (at very least) allows me to sleep at night.  <--- (perhaps a poor analogy; but it's all my feeble, hormonal brain can come up with, right now)

Meg41208

I got my flu shot yesterday

Lyons_in_2007

1. Why must you all have valid points?
2. Can I rephrase by adding the additional context that it might just make me feel good to have the *power* to control the discomfort of my ILs?  That said, if they agree to the vaccines, would asking them to video tape the needle-poking be equally over the top?  I might find pleasure in viewing their pain. 

Hello, my name is Lyons; and I'm sadistic. 

 

jerseygirl81

Of course it's your baby, your choice, I'm just saying that if I was given the choice as a visitor I would probably just not visit.

Lyons_in_2007

Meg41208:

I got my flu shot yesterday

You can stand in my driveway and I'll put Will.i.am in the window; but only if you bring a bottle of wine. 

Brougham7-15-06

Yes, it is very extreme in my opinion to demand that someone get shots...you can't demand that people do that type of thing.  But they also shouldn't expect to be able to stay with you.  Since it sounds like they are out of town, just tell them that you prefer they not stay with you, but I also wouldn't say you can only stay if you do "xyz"

Lyons_in_2007

jerseygirl81:

Of course it's your baby, your choice, I'm just saying that if I was given the choice as a visitor I would probably just not visit.

Gotcha. 

Moesten

WTH?!?!? Where did my response go? Fvcking Bump.

Anyway, to paraphrase my earlier, sucked-into-oblivion post.

From one of your posts I got the impression that you would require family to be vaccinated in order to be around the baby but would allow nonvaccinated friends be around the baby. What sense does that make?

As you know, you can't "make" anyone do anything. But you can choose 1) who is around your baby, and 2) who stays at your house. So if the price of admission to be around Baby Boy Lyons #2 or to stay in the Lyons household is to be vaccinated then you had better start spreading the word. And then your family and friends can choose whether or not they care to pay that admission. But be prepared to have a lonely winter. :P 

Temp806465500003043

I understand that you are trying to control the germs under your newborn but I think you are letting your distaste for your ILs cloud your judgment.  Getting the flu isn't protecting against every sickness out there and like Jene said if the choice was get a flu shot or not visit- I would choose not visit. 

cops_wife

I'm a germaphobe who kept my spring baby out of public places until she was over a month old, but yes, this is definitely over the top. And it is in no way a battle I would be interested in having with my in-laws. Or my sister, who would tell me I was being a whackjob.

And I agree with Moesten that it makes no sense to insist that family be vaccinated, then allow friends who aren't to see the baby. And are you planning to stay inside all flu season? Are you going to insist everyone attending any holiday celebrations you're invited to be vaccinated as well? I felt like it was reasonable for me to insist my husband get the flu shot when I was pregnant, but that's it.

Lyons_in_2007

Moesten:

WTH?!?!? Where did my response go? Fvcking Bump.

This happens to me a lot.  It frustrates me, and I usually wind up not re-posting.  That said, thanks for taking the time to retype a response.

Moesten:

  

From one of your posts I got the impression that you would require family to be vaccinated in order to be around the baby but would allow nonvaccinated friends be around the baby. What sense does that make?

No, I'm saying that I feel comfortable asking (yes, I used *demanding* in my OP; but that word choice was, admittedly, over the top) my family to be vaccinated; but I would not feel comfortable asking my friends to do the same.  As you also pointed out (below), I definitely understand that I can't control who is/isn't vaccinated.  All I can control is who I ask to do so.  Does that make more sense?

Moesten:

  

As you know, you can't "make" anyone do anything. But you can choose 1) who is around your baby, and 2) who stays at your house. So if the price of admission to be around Baby Boy Lyons #2 or to stay in the Lyons household is to be vaccinated then you had better start spreading the word. And then your family and friends can choose whether or not they care to pay that admission. But be prepared to have a lonely winter. :P 

1) Yes

2) Yes, but that's why it seems easier to me to have this discussion now.  To be fair, my parents and sister have already been vaccinated; and they understood the importance (at least, in my mind...and in the opinion of the CDC) of doing so. 

It's not that I want to live in a bubble all winter; however, I do want to advocate for my children to the best of my ability.  The control freak in me is driving me to ask the family to be vaccinated (or, at very least, to consider it as it relates to "protecting" the health of DS2). 

sistrkate

MrsVetter:

I understand that you are trying to control the germs under your newborn but I think you are letting your distaste for your ILs cloud your judgment.  Getting the flu isn't protecting against every sickness out there and like Jene said if the choice was get a flu shot or not visit- I would choose not visit. 

I completely agree with this.  The fact that you've joked that you want to see the video of them getting the vaccine to showcase their discomfort just tells me you're trying to "stick it to them", no pun intended.

I completely understand the reasoning of wanting them to have the vaccine, but something tells me you're expecting them to balk at this so that you can tell them to plan to stay somewhere else.

Lyons_in_2007

hannah&ben:

**peeking through fingers**

ps - I'm not here. You can't see me.

I miss you, Hannah!  Come back!

buckeyethor

yes, i think it is a bit over the top to expect that of people.

i do not however think it is over the top to expect that people that have been sick within the last week not come visit you or your kids during any time of the year.

KristenBtobe

I suggested that my mom and dad ask about getting the dTap since they take care of the kids regularly, and my in-laws are actually the ones that suggested it to me. 

Lyons_in_2007

sistrkate:

MrsVetter:

I understand that you are trying to control the germs under your newborn but I think you are letting your distaste for your ILs cloud your judgment.  Getting the flu isn't protecting against every sickness out there and like Jene said if the choice was get a flu shot or not visit- I would choose not visit. 

I completely agree with this.  The fact that you've joked that you want to see the video of them getting the vaccine to showcase their discomfort just tells me you're trying to "stick it to them", no pun intended.

I completely understand the reasoning of wanting them to have the vaccine, but something tells me you're expecting them to balk at this so that you can tell them to plan to stay somewhere else.

Do you actually see into my soul, Katie?  Who needs a tarot card reading?  I'm just going to take you to lunch one day. 

Lyons_in_2007

Meg41208:

Lyons_in_2007:

Meg41208:

You could always give them Walgreens flu shot gift cards for Halloween.  

::dead::

ETA:  Now you've fed my OCD brain.  Would it be acceptable to give said giftcards to EVERY.SINGLE.CHILD in our neighborhood during ToT?  I will singlehandedly create herd immunity within my bubble, thus protecting my child. 

Instead of candy, the Lyonses will be handing out travel packs of Kleenex and Purel this Halloween. 

Don't forget the syringes.  I mean, they'll be new/sterile, of course.  I'm not a freak or anything. 

sistrkate

Lyons_in_2007:

sistrkate:

MrsVetter:

I understand that you are trying to control the germs under your newborn but I think you are letting your distaste for your ILs cloud your judgment.  Getting the flu isn't protecting against every sickness out there and like Jene said if the choice was get a flu shot or not visit- I would choose not visit. 

I completely agree with this.  The fact that you've joked that you want to see the video of them getting the vaccine to showcase their discomfort just tells me you're trying to "stick it to them", no pun intended.

I completely understand the reasoning of wanting them to have the vaccine, but something tells me you're expecting them to balk at this so that you can tell them to plan to stay somewhere else.

Do you actually see into my soul, Katie?  Who needs a tarot card reading?  I'm just going to take you to lunch one day. 

I try to stay away from predictions, but my husband SWEARS he's psychic.  Maybe it's rubbing off on me?  

Soon2BHiker

A very good friend of ours has rules when having a new baby. Only immediate family( meaning, her, dh, and both grandparents, no one else) holds the baby for the 1st 3months of life, and only her & her husband kiss the baby for the 1st 3months of life. When she first told everyone, she of course got mixed reviews, but she stuck to her guns (on both her kids) and people respected it.

rachel06

I actually have heard that it's better if you have the baby bathe in toilet water because it builds immunity.  Also it's more effective if you video tape the baby bathing in the toilet water while doing it.  If that doesn't work I heard dog saliva is a good back up, so maybe think of doing both. That way you don't have to ask anyone to get the vaccines.

Lyons_in_2007

rachel06:

I actually have heard that it's better if you have the baby bathe in toilet water because it builds immunity.  Also it's more effective if you video tape the baby bathing in the toilet water while doing it.  If that doesn't work I heard dog saliva is a good back up, so maybe think of doing both. That way you don't have to ask anyone to get the vaccines.

LMFAO!  I you. 

KristenBtobe

Just let him play in the litterbox. It will be fine.

Lyons_in_2007

KristenBtobe:

Just let him play in the litterbox. It will be fine.

consider it done 

Lyons_in_2007

Brougham7-15-06:

Yes, it is very extreme in my opinion to demand that someone get shots...you can't demand that people do that type of thing.

Really?  As a nurse, you wouldn't be more concerned (and perhaps be more inclined to push the issue), considering the CDC's current recommendations?   

warriormomerin

I'm going to have so much fun with this on Friday, which is probably the last time I'll see you until flu season is over. 

Lyons_in_2007

warrior*mom:

I'm going to have so much fun with this on Friday, which is probably the last time I'll see you until flu season is over. 

You are right - much fun will be had with this on Friday.  Remind me to also throw an apple fritter at your head for rolling your e-eyes at me.    HA! 

Jessica&Brett

If I were you - I would ask them to get the shot. But I wouldn't demand it, or make it a condition of them staying with you. Secondly, if it were me, I absolutely wouldn't let them stay with me! We lived in Seattle when DS was born, and we didn't let anyone stay with us even when he was 2 months old! Having houseguests is too much when you have a newborn!