Oldies

Court1

I preface this by saying that I know many have been here longer than me.....

Do you guys ever feel like almost all of our buddies have moved on?  I go to Pgal to check on everyone & I feel like I know more people there than here.  People who were getting pregnant when I moved over here are going to be delivering soon & many who I've follwed have their LO's snuggling in their arms.

Doesn't our turn have to be coming up soon?  Doesn't the universe have to throw us all a bone eventually?

ColindaP

It doesn't just feel like that. It IS like that.

And, look, you all know I'm not one for blowing sunshine up asses and realism is my game, so I don't mean to be depressing. But the God's honest truth is that if 70% of women with multiple losses will go on to carry a healthy pregnancy to term one of these days - though God only knows how many tries it will take - that leaves a good solid 30% of us who won't. Someone has to make up that 30%. I know not everyone here is RPL, some are having trouble just conceiving. But those stats - same thing. The honest reality is that some of us are going to be in that minority who isn't thrown a bone.

And that sucks. 

BabyMimi

I feel you Court. This is why I took such a long bump break. A LOT of girls that were on TTCAL when I came on in June 09' are now holding LO's in their arms and at times, it gets hard. 

One way or another, I know we will all get our forever baby. Whether it be through fertility treatments, surrogacy, adoption, foster parenting, whatever. I have faith and hope it will happen for all of us because there is no way that all these wonderful women will not be Mom's.

This is what I tell myself every day: I will not be jealous of those that have had an easier path to motherhood than me. I will probably appreciate it and cherish it 10000000x more than they will. They are the ones that are going to miss out.

I don't mean that to insult anyone that has had an easier time. I just tell myself that to prop myself up when I am down in the dumps. 

Court1

ColindaP:

It doesn't just feel like that. It IS like that.

And, look, you all know I'm not one for blowing sunshine up asses and realism is my game, so I don't mean to be depressing. But the God's honest truth is that if 70% of women with multiple losses will go on to carry a healthy pregnancy to term one of these days - though God only knows how many tries it will take - that leaves a good solid 30% of us who won't. Someone has to make up that 30%. I know not everyone here is RPL, some are having trouble just conceiving. But those stats - same thing. The honest reality is that some of us are going to be in that minority who isn't thrown a bone.

And that sucks. 

Yes, it does suck.  No sugar coating that.

Court1

BabyMimi:

I feel you Court. This is why I took such a long bump break. A LOT of girls that were on TTCAL when I came on in June 09' are now holding LO's in their arms and at times, it gets hard. 

One way or another, I know we will all get our forever baby. Whether it be through fertility treatments, surrogacy, adoption, foster parenting, whatever. I have faith and hope it will happen for all of us because there is no way that all these wonderful women will not be Mom's.

This is what I tell myself every day: I will not be jealous of those that have had an easier path to motherhood than me. I will probably appreciate it and cherish it 10000000x more than they will. They are the ones that are going to miss out.

I don't mean that to insult anyone that has had an easier time. I just tell myself that to prop myself up when I am down in the dumps. 

I think you're right about appreciating what we have if we ever get there. 

babygirlpriest

ColindaP:

And, look, you all know I'm not one for blowing sunshine up asses and realism is my game, so I don't mean to be depressing. But the God's honest truth is that if 70% of women with multiple losses will go on to carry a healthy pregnancy to term one of these days - though God only knows how many tries it will take - that leaves a good solid 30% of us who won't. Someone has to make up that 30%. I know not everyone here is RPL, some are having trouble just conceiving. But those stats - same thing. The honest reality is that some of us are going to be in that minority who isn't thrown a bone.

I'm right there with Colinda.

Some of us will never "graduate" from ttcal... the only way we'll leave is by just plain old giving up. I'm one of those people. I really don't stand a chance of "graduating" from 6+. And I don't say that to get the "awww, hon... it could happen" responses. I say that because it's fact.

And sadly, those of us that have been here longest and been through the most shiit, are probably gonna be the ones left over when everyone leaves the party and it's just us and the janitor waiting to lock up.

And that means a few really, really awesome women are getting shiit on in ways they don't deserve. I hate it and I hope they beat the odds, but like Colinda, I'm a realist.

jen629

I know many people have been here longer than me but after my 10 months and 3 losses I can't believe when I go check up on my friends on PGAL that they are delivering or close to it where does the time go???..Many {{HUGS}}}...I feel like that also and I really wonder sometimes if it will ever happen for me

CarrieLeigh84

I really have no place in chiming in on this one, but I want you all to know that I love you so much. I know exactly where you're coming from, and how horrible it feels. I wish that none of this bullshit existed.

DoingItRight

It pretty much sucks.  Everytime that I go to an event or meeting it seems like someone else is announcing.  I just wish that I knew a reason for all of this.

mdm2137

It does suck. I know I haven't been around as long as a lot of people either, but long enough to see people I started with have healthy babies. I hope we call get a turn, but as Colinda and BGB said, the harsh reality is we might not. ((hugs))

ade2be

Yes.  I have to check on my of my buddies on PgAL and PAL.  Its so depressing to see so many of us that just can't seem to move on (or move on but only for a few weeks before we're back here).  I just wish we could all graduate.....

Court1

CarrieLeigh84:

I really have no place in chiming in on this one, but I want you all to know that I love you so much. I know exactly where you're coming from, and how horrible it feels. I wish that none of this bullshit existed.

Of course you can chime in.  You spent a small eternity dealing with this s$it.

Olive44

I haven't been here all that long either (about 10 months), but I can't believe that some of the girls that were here when I came to this board are about to give birth.  And my SIL who got pregnant a month after my d&c is having her baby this weekend.  Lately, it seems like every doctor appt. I go to I get more and more bad news.  It's just so hard and unfair.  I hope we all get our turn.

grr_aargh

babygirlpriest:

And that means a few really, really awesome women are getting shiit on in ways they don't deserve.

No lie.

 

surfergirlkona

I am right there with all of you.  Unfortunately there are going to be those of us who never move on. I am pretty sure I fall into that 30% and hope that it leaves less room for everyone else here.

lunatwo

I have been here so long that some (many) of the girls I started here with are on baby #2.  And I am pretty sure I will never meet up with them again on another board.

KelinandKevin

ColindaP:

It doesn't just feel like that. It IS like that.

And, look, you all know I'm not one for blowing sunshine up asses and realism is my game, so I don't mean to be depressing. But the God's honest truth is that if 70% of women with multiple losses will go on to carry a healthy pregnancy to term one of these days - though God only knows how many tries it will take - that leaves a good solid 30% of us who won't. Someone has to make up that 30%. I know not everyone here is RPL, some are having trouble just conceiving. But those stats - same thing. The honest reality is that some of us are going to be in that minority who isn't thrown a bone.

And that sucks. 

This exactly.  I actually don't know many on PgAL now, all mine are on PAL or have left TB altogether because they have their perfect beautiful babies and have moved on.  I still keep in contact with a few of the old crew, but I am sure the other have long forgot about me/us. 

Sucks hard core.

KelinandKevin

lunatwo:

I have been here so long that some (many) of the girls I started here with are on baby #2.  And I am pretty sure I will never meet up with them again on another board.

Yes, this too.  I know plenty that are on baby #2 or just having baby #2 and thinking about #3.

BabyMimi

KelinandKevin:

ColindaP:

It doesn't just feel like that. It IS like that.

And, look, you all know I'm not one for blowing sunshine up asses and realism is my game, so I don't mean to be depressing. But the God's honest truth is that if 70% of women with multiple losses will go on to carry a healthy pregnancy to term one of these days - though God only knows how many tries it will take - that leaves a good solid 30% of us who won't. Someone has to make up that 30%. I know not everyone here is RPL, some are having trouble just conceiving. But those stats - same thing. The honest reality is that some of us are going to be in that minority who isn't thrown a bone.

And that sucks. 

This exactly.  I actually don't know many on PgAL now, all mine are on PAL or have left TB altogether because they have their perfect beautiful babies and have moved on.  I still keep in contact with a few of the old crew, but I am sure the other have long forgot about me/us. 

Sucks hard core.

That sucks so bad.

This is why I like being facebook friends with you all. I don't ever want to lose touch, no matter what. 

KristysRedBarn

KelinandKevin:

lunatwo:

I have been here so long that some (many) of the girls I started here with are on baby #2.  And I am pretty sure I will never meet up with them again on another board.

Yes, this too.  I know plenty that are on baby #2 or just having baby #2 and thinking about #3.

Exactly.  I'm not sure why I don't just give up/move on, but I stay here.

butterfly843

I'm happy for all our graduates but it's so hard to see them getting ready to deliver or recently having babies when I feel like lately I will never graduate. Plus there is a girl at work who is due 2 weeks after I would have been due if I didn't have the loss in july. She just found out what she is having and all I can think of those should be milestones I should be hitting.

rjl07

I have been here over a year now and I think in the next few weeks or so I'll know more people on PAL than on PgAL.  This sucks.

michrocc

Same, guys.  A lot of people I came over here with are in the latter stages of their 3rd trimester, and some have babies already... I don't go to PgAL anymore 'cause it just reminds me of how much time has passed and I'm in the same place. 

triple_sevens

God, this post makes me sad. This heartache is unbearable and somehow made worse by watching life pass and things change for others while everything is stasis for you.

It feels like we're a collection of the walking wounded sometimes, doesn't it? Just passing along like ghosts while other people get to be flesh and blood.

SweetieD21

I feel all of your pains.  I was here for a loooooong time and felt the same way you did.  I wish there was a magic wand I could wave and all of you would be over on PgAL.  I'm praying for all of you so hard!!  ((HUGS))