So...a shock this morning...

connor mom

Hi there..

 I know it has been a long time since I posted something new. I have just been peeking in and trying to offer good wishes

 In 2 weeks...Baby K will be 1 year old. That same day...it will be exactly 6 months since we had to return her to birth parents. I can't believe she has been gone now almost as long as she was with us!

 We are trying to return to normal...whatever that might be. Anyway...DH is away on business trip. I was up early...DS had peed the bed and I was up doing laundry. I checked email, and got the shock of my life

 

Baby K's birth father had sent me a friend request on facebook.

Seriously.

 Mind you, we never met him, talked with him....nothing. We simply had to release baby back to the agency for him and birth mother to get back. Never had any contact. Well...he found me on FB....prolly had my name from all the court paperwork.

So....I am in shock, but click the link to his profile to ensure this is truly him. I see his profile picture...thinking Dammit. Now I know what he looks like...I never wanted to know....since we all live in the same town! I could not resist...being in state of shock. I look at his few pictures. There is one of him and birth mother  (dated before he was aware of Baby K...before he decided to divorce her, her hiding Baby K from him, etc..) and then....there is a picture of Baby K...from yesterday.

 

There she is.

My heart fell through my chest.

And then I see the name on the picture. I knew she would have a new name....but her name? Mikayla. My name? Mikal.

I am still in shock...15 hrs later.

Did he send me the friend request to be nice? Our Lawyer had stated birth father had no ill will in this whole situation. Was he trying to be kind, putting a new picture up, knowing I would see? And her name? I don't believe that is just ironic. It can't be, can it? Maybe?

So shocking. Too much to process at once. We wonder if my husband will also have a friend request waiting when he comes home and can check email.

Sorry for the long post. Just needed to share with someone and thought some of you here might be able to emphasize or understand, whereas most people can't. You are a special group

jehnm

I second that wow!  I'm sure you are in a state of shock over it all.  Thinking of you!

silliestbunny

Ick. I would definitely be unnerved.

Hugs to you....

connor mom

Thanks ladies   Unnerved is a very good way to put it!

And I didn't say this....I guess you all would just assume this, but...

 I did not respond to the friend request.

and

have not been able to bring myself to go back and look again or anything more

come*on*baby

The person I am believes that her name may be a way to honor you and the fact that you took such good care of her for the time that you did. At least you know she's okay and they're doing fine, at least BF and her.

Cissi64

I agree with Come-on baby.  I would try to take this in a positive manner even though I know it has to be really hard.  {{{HUGS}}}

FinallyMrs.G

Wow! Unbelievable! You have PM!

mcmann05

I read this post early this morning and don't know how to respond. This has got to be super tough, especially seeing updated pictures!

 I too would feel like he was trying to honor you by the name. If it were me, for my own sanity I would accept the friend request. That's just me and I haven't been in your shoes. I would want the continued reassurance that she was ok. :-)

 Good luck!