NBR: is anyone here adopted?

boomersooner9779

have you met your birth mother? now that i have my own child, i often wonder about my birth mother. i got my final adoption papers a few years ago which gave me her name, but i havent actually ever searched for her.

if you have searched, how did you do it?

mikiesgirl70106

I'm adopted...but have zero desire to meet my real birth-mother.  My relationship with my mother who raised me is so strong that I don't wan to hurt it in any shape or form.  I do have my birth-mothers name and address, but will never pursue farther. Good luck with your decision. 

megperk72

I am not adopted. Actually, I am a birth mother. I have a 19 year old birth daughter, had her when I was 18 and it was not a good situation to bring a child into. Anywho, there are lots of ways to search, and you shouldn't have to pay anyone to do it. Be wary of anyone who asks for money. People are relatively easy to find. Especially if you have a full name and birthdate. Check out the 'yahoo groups' and look for a group in your area that finds people. Give them all of the info you have and they should be able to help you. There are people who dedicate their lives, literally, to helping people find lost loved ones. I also recommend finding a good therapist, as this can open up a whole can of emotions that will barrel in at once...some good, some bad. Just a suggestion!

 There is also a website, called G's adoption registry, that you can search and put your information on. It's free. www.gsadoptionregistry.com

 GL with whatever you decide to do!!

boomersooner9779

megperk72, how would you feel if your birth daughter found you?

that's what i worry about as well. my adoptive parents are awesome and are my true parents. however, i have had alot of health issues and it would be nice to know some medical history now that i have my own dd. but aside from that, obviously there are other reasons why i would pursue it. i am 31, its been a long long time. i dont want to disrupt anyones lives. i have no ill-will towards to my birth mother, i feel lucky to have been adopted by my parents. but there is always that curiosity.

megperk72

I would love it if she found me. I do have her info and know where she is, but I feel the same way, I don't want to disrupt her life. I posted my info on the G's adoption registry website so that if she is looking she can get my info and contact me there. Also, I forgot to mention...there are lots of registries out there, but from my research the best one (most widely used) is the ISRR. www.isrr.net Basically, you will send in your info and any info you have on her, and they will tell you if she has also sent in her info to find you. That way, no one intrudes on anyone, and any contact is by mutual consent and through them. This is a free registry that is run completely on donations. This is the only way I would go about a 'reunion' with my birthdaughter. If she never wants to meet me, I accept that. And if she does want to meet at some point, I would never see it as a slam to her adoptive parents. I am very grateful to them for raising her when I couldn't. You never know, maybe your birthmother has wanted to meet for awhile and was just waiting to hear that you wanted to as well? You never know until you try!

Feel free to PM me if you have any more questions. And I would love any updates if you decide to search for her!!

teamsweet

I am adopted from Korea and was found at a police station.  I have no way of finding my biological parents and have zero desire to do so.  I used to want to know what my bio mom looked like (just to see someone who looked like me and to see if I'd be taller than 5 ft).  Now that I'm a mom, I have someone who looks like me and I know I'll never make it to 5 ft.

Palan

My DH is is adopted and I have a half brother that my Mother put up for adoption when she was a teen.

My DS started the search for his BM about 6 years ago. The State opened the records and contacted the BM (this process took about a year), when they contacted her they found out that she had passed away about a year earlier (around the time the search started). My husband was allowed to review all of the records and could have tried to contact her family. He has not done this yet, I don't know if he ever will. We do know that she never had any other children (this makes me a little sad), I am sure if he had siblings he would try to contact them. He does not seem to have any interest in searching out his BF.

My Mom gave a son up for adoption while in college. He contacted her about 7 years ago. I think it was weirder for me than my Mom, he found her through my  information which felt like an invasion of my privacy(Mom had had been married thus her last name had changed, I was born in the same state as the son so Mom's maiden name was on my birth certificate). My sister and I knew about the son, but my Mom did not know we knew (we found out from another family member). We did not tell her we knew because I thought it was her story to tell (my sister had/has a problem with this but that is another can of worms).  His parents are still alive and supposedly were not very open to him finding his BM/BF. So they met and my Mom wanted to continue the relationship and he did not, he wanted to meet and be done. She was hurt by this but it has gotten better. They are friends on Facebook now as are my sister and myself.

Just a different perspective.