Babies: 3 - 6 Months
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What is the thing you wish someone would have told you...

about labor, motherhood, etc.?


Re: What is the thing you wish someone would have told you...

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    The best advise I got is:

    Do what works for you and your family.  Do not worry about what others say or think, because they are not living your life.

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    i really wish someone told me about how lonely motherhood is. well, at least how lonely the three months you're on maternity leave are.
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    I've got a few:

    - I wish I would have done more research on c-sections when I was pregnant. I did not read up on them at all and was shocked at the procedure when I actually had one.

    - Epidurals are not scary (and so worth it!!!)

    - Breastfeeding is HARD work and painful in the beginning.

    - I truthfully do not even remember much about labor.


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    I honestly did not know that I'd bleed for so long afterwards! (6 weeks)

    And I know everyone's different, but I wish someone would have told me that I would NOT want a ton of guests at the hospital so I could have kept.them.away. I was way too tired. Embarrassed

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    Just how much my body would feel like someone else's.  Even now, these boobs and this tummy do not feel like mine.  Oh and that BF might help me lose weight but it might not, and it is not the end all and be all in losing weight.  I feel let down by the universe that the only weight I have lost since giving birth is the weight I lost in the first three weeks.  And yes, I eat well and am walking.  I am adding harder core exercise in this week.
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    imageAlexandra*sMom:

    The best advise I got is:

    Do what works for you and your family.  Do not worry about what others say or think, because they are not living your life.

    This! I'm a do-it-by-the-book kinda girl. Well, motherhood isn't a by-the-book kind of thing. I wish I would have stuck to my instincts more when Lo was first born. I would have enjoyed her first two weeks of life more.

    And, BFing isn't for everyone. Don't beat yourself up if it doesn't work for you. I spent weeks feeling like a bad mom because I couldn't do it.

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    1. C-sections aren't nearly as scary as I was told--my recovery was a cinch!

    2. Let "advice" roll off your back.

     

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    That it is a HUGE adjustment, moreso than I ever thought even though we were sooo ready for kids and planned very well for it.

    That the baby blues are normal, but they SUCK. Big time. 

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    imagelaura_belle:

    3. Insist on a lactation consulant until you get one. 

    I agree with this. The hospital provided me a LC 3x a week for the first 3 weeks. If it wasn't for her and the support of my hubby and sister I would have never made it through the first month.


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    I wish someone had told me to not skip chapters in all those What to Expect type books I read during pregnancy, because I thought those things wouldn't happen to me. It made me totally unprepared for:

    - a severe tear during delivery

    - meconium and jaundice = baby in nicu 

    - having a colicky baby

    - that bouncing/rocking/feeding said colicky baby to sleep = still having to bounce/rock/feed baby before every nap and nighttime sleep (wish I'd done awake but drowsy from the start!)

    - terrible difficulties breastfeeding the first weeks due to undiagnosed tongue tie 

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    I was prepared for the worst so I wish more people had been positive about early motherhood. Everyone was like "OMG You're exhausted, the baby is always crying, you're worn out, you think pregnancy is hard well just you wait!"

    Exactly three women assured me repeatedly how wonderful it was, and how it was actually romantic to have a baby, and how childbirth can make you feel more womanly, and how yes you get up a lot in the middle of the night but half the time you're kind of excited to see your baby, so it's not that bad.

    And they were right. More so than the negative nancys out there.

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    1. How my stomach would feel after delivery. I was so shocked and weirded out by the empty sack of belly. (Also a heads up that it doesnt last that long woulda been nice)

    2. That it IS okay if you can't breastfeed, DD would not latch and was starving for a week because I felt like I HAD to nurse her. I cried the whole week too because of it. Pumping works better for our family and it is okay.

    3. That the c-section recovery wouldn't be that bad. I was grocery shopping at 4 days PP.

    4. That those little smiles in the middle of the night make every midnight feeding so worth it, and to cherish those special moments... they go by so fast.

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    I wish I would have gotten a lot more coaching about BFing in general. I wish someone would have warned me about clogged ducts, milk blisters, needing to use nursing pads, etc. I had a lactation consultant at the hospital but she kinda sucked. I had to figure a lot of it out on my own as time went on. It wasn't until DS was about 2 months old that I felt like it was really successful for both of us.

    Oh, and I wish someone told me to get a new Medela PIS right away. I was using a hand-me-down (I know, bad) and only one side worked. My supply basically doubled once I got my new one...when DS was 10 weeks old. 

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    I never knew how emotionally sensitive I would get.  Crying at a Pampers commercial???  - Yeah, that's me.
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    imageMermaidNM:
    Just how much my body would feel like someone else's.  Even now, these boobs and this tummy do not feel like mine.  Oh and that BF might help me lose weight but it might not, and it is not the end all and be all in losing weight.  I feel let down by the universe that the only weight I have lost since giving birth is the weight I lost in the first three weeks.  And yes, I eat well and am walking.  I am adding harder core exercise in this week.

    I couldn't agree more! I haven't lost anything since 2 weeks postpartum, regardless of BF and exercise. 

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    i wish someone had told me to plan on bf all the time for the first few weeks and to go to the clinic and get the baby weighed early on.  I feel like I did everything wrong the first few weeks and really messed up my supply.
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    imagejilicious:

    I was prepared for the worst so I wish more people had been positive about early motherhood. Everyone was like "OMG You're exhausted, the baby is always crying, you're worn out, you think pregnancy is hard well just you wait!"

    Exactly three women assured me repeatedly how wonderful it was, and how it was actually romantic to have a baby, and how childbirth can make you feel more womanly, and how yes you get up a lot in the middle of the night but half the time you're kind of excited to see your baby, so it's not that bad.

    And they were right. More so than the negative nancys out there.


    This!  I was so scared for labor and becoming a mommy.  Turns out my birthing experience was awesome and life before DS is a distant memory (in a good way)

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    No one ever warned me about Baby Blues. They never said I might sit there on my couch for 4 weeks and cry and hate my life. Glad that part is over but Baby Blues and PPD do exist and its the most awful thing. I dont remember much of LO during that time.
    Your little hands wrapped around my finger and its so quiet in the world tonight Your little eye lids flutter cause your dreamin so I tuck you in, turn on your favorite night light To you everything's funny, you've got nothing to regret I'd give all I have hunny, if you could stay like that Oh darling dont you ever grow up, dont you ever grow up, just stay this little Oh darling dont you ever grow up dont you ever grow up, it could stay this simple I wont let nobody hurt you, wont let no one break your heart, no one will desert you Just try to never grow up imageimage Pregnancy Ticker Lilypie Third Birthday tickers
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    I wish someone would have prepared me for the uncontrollable shivering and vomiting that came along with the contractions.  I thought you only started shivering or vomiting as a reaction to the epi.

    I wish someone would have told me to trust my body when it comes to breastfeeding.  I'm thankful my SIL told me to see a LC early and often.  They were a lifesaver! 

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    to read up on how to get your baby to sttn early on.
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    Sleep deprivation + new baby in the house + pain from recovery = losing my appetite for an entire month.

    I was eating toast and drinking Ensure...couldn't have anything with a lot of flavor or salt without wanting to gag.

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    imagelaura_belle:
    imagejilicious:

    I was prepared for the worst so I wish more people had been positive about early motherhood. Everyone was like "OMG You're exhausted, the baby is always crying, you're worn out, you think pregnancy is hard well just you wait!"

    Exactly three women assured me repeatedly how wonderful it was, and how it was actually romantic to have a baby, and how childbirth can make you feel more womanly, and how yes you get up a lot in the middle of the night but half the time you're kind of excited to see your baby, so it's not that bad.

    And they were right. More so than the negative nancys out there.

    I guess I'm a Negative Nancy.  I didn't find childbirth romantic at all; it was a necessity/hurdle I had to go through to have my child. 

    And the first few weeks were exhausting and very very hard.  I remember thinking that there is no way I could ever go through this again. 

    But, each person's experience is different and I am glad you were able to enjoy that time.  I'm jealous now.

    I meant that becoming parents was romantic, not childbirth. LOL like, sitting with your little family on the couch together and catching DH's eye, and smiling, and leaning in for a kiss. OMG we do that all the time.

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    What I was told but blew off and wished I had listened to

    1) If there are issues in your relationship they will get much worse as he gets jealous of the attention you give the baby,

    2) Try not to gain in the first 12 weeks because you will pack on the weight at the end. And only gain 1/2 lb. a week or cut back so you don't have a ton to lose after.

    3) Don't relocate while pregnant. It will be very lonely.

    4) Don't fear the epidural because it was no big deal.

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    imagejilicious:
    imagelaura_belle:
    imagejilicious:

    I was prepared for the worst so I wish more people had been positive about early motherhood. Everyone was like "OMG You're exhausted, the baby is always crying, you're worn out, you think pregnancy is hard well just you wait!"

    Exactly three women assured me repeatedly how wonderful it was, and how it was actually romantic to have a baby, and how childbirth can make you feel more womanly, and how yes you get up a lot in the middle of the night but half the time you're kind of excited to see your baby, so it's not that bad.

    And they were right. More so than the negative nancys out there.

    I guess I'm a Negative Nancy.  I didn't find childbirth romantic at all; it was a necessity/hurdle I had to go through to have my child. 

    And the first few weeks were exhausting and very very hard.  I remember thinking that there is no way I could ever go through this again. 

    But, each person's experience is different and I am glad you were able to enjoy that time.  I'm jealous now.

    I meant that becoming parents was romantic, not childbirth. LOL like, sitting with your little family on the couch together and catching DH's eye, and smiling, and leaning in for a kiss. OMG we do that all the time.

    yeah, that's how I thought it would be. I wish someone had been a negative Nancy with me so I would have been prepared for how hard it could be. The first 3-4 months of DS's life were some of the worst of mine. Those of us who are negative are just being honest about our experience. I'm really happy for you and incredibly jealous that you had such a great, romantic experience, but mine was not like that at all. I'm very quick to tell people how hard it was for me because no one talks about it and that made it harder.
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    imageLJR 84:

    I honestly did not know that I'd bleed for so long afterwards! (6 weeks)

    And I know everyone's different, but I wish someone would have told me that I would NOT want a ton of guests at the hospital so I could have kept.them.away. I was way too tired. Embarrassed

    This!!!

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    imagebakedlaurabean:
    imagejilicious:
    imagelaura_belle:
    imagejilicious:

    I was prepared for the worst so I wish more people had been positive about early motherhood. Everyone was like "OMG You're exhausted, the baby is always crying, you're worn out, you think pregnancy is hard well just you wait!"

    Exactly three women assured me repeatedly how wonderful it was, and how it was actually romantic to have a baby, and how childbirth can make you feel more womanly, and how yes you get up a lot in the middle of the night but half the time you're kind of excited to see your baby, so it's not that bad.

    And they were right. More so than the negative nancys out there.

    I guess I'm a Negative Nancy.  I didn't find childbirth romantic at all; it was a necessity/hurdle I had to go through to have my child. 

    And the first few weeks were exhausting and very very hard.  I remember thinking that there is no way I could ever go through this again. 

    But, each person's experience is different and I am glad you were able to enjoy that time.  I'm jealous now.

    I meant that becoming parents was romantic, not childbirth. LOL like, sitting with your little family on the couch together and catching DH's eye, and smiling, and leaning in for a kiss. OMG we do that all the time.

    yeah, that's how I thought it would be. I wish someone had been a negative Nancy with me so I would have been prepared for how hard it could be. The first 3-4 months of DS's life were some of the worst of mine. Those of us who are negative are just being honest about our experience. I'm really happy for you and incredibly jealous that you had such a great, romantic experience, but mine was not like that at all. I'm very quick to tell people how hard it was for me because no one talks about it and that made it harder.

     

    This.  Everyone told me that "all newborns do is sleep."  No - all mine did was scream bloody murder for weeks.  I hated the first 2 months, literally. I was scared to have a baby when I was pregnant but it was actually 10x worse than I thought it was going to be.  I'll tell people about my experience but then I'll add that everyone is different and some babies are easier than others so while my experience was negative that doesn't mean that the next mommy's will be.

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    That it's ok if breastfeeding doesn't work out. I beat myself up for a month after stopping and it wasn't even my fault.
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    imagesynchrosally:

    I wish someone would have prepared me for the uncontrollable shivering and vomiting that came along with the contractions.  I thought you only started shivering or vomiting as a reaction to the epi.

     

    This. I did have an Epi, but didn't shake the entire time until just before and a few minutes after DD was born. The 10 or so minutes after she was born I literally felt like I was having a seizure i was shaking so bad. Not the most helpful when the doctor is trying to stitch up your lady bitsTongue Tied

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    How physically exhausting labor was.  My legs and arms hurt so bad for a week.  Holding your legs up was more work thanthe pushing.  lol  I would have kept in better shape.  I got kind of lazy.  Embarrassed

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