Is it rude to ask my MIL not to make a Xmas stocking for DS?

BamBam510

Stockings were always the most exciting thing about Christmas in my family.  They would get stuffed we'd find them on the foot of our bed in the morning so we got to open them right away without waiting for our parents to wake up.   MIL started making stockings for us a couple years ago and I just thought it was kind of weird since in my family a stocking is something you got just one of at your own home etc. but I obviously didn't say anything since I'm an adult now, and if it makes her happy then fine.

I plan on getting a stocking for Sam and having it like it was in my family, and I know MIL is wanting to do a stocking for him too, but I'd rather her not because to me, it kind of takes away from the special-ness of it if you get more than one.   The story in my family is that Santa leaves your presents wherever you sleep on Christmas Eve, and he makes you a stocking as a special gift from him for you to open first thing when you wake up. 

I'm wondering how to bring it up to MIL, I'd rather do it now so that she doesn't go out and buy him a stocking or make him one.  And I'm wondering how she'll react.  Maybe it seems petty, but I'm really excited about starting Christmas traditions and I'd like to stay consistent I guess.

AdamsMom4

Sounds a little touchy to me. Maybe let it slide this year and let him have a stocking at her house? I know you don't want to hear this, but he won't remember.

KRISTA555

the stocking he has at your house will be more special to him than the one @ grandma's. let this go, imo

1ht

ETA; u wanna honor dh's family traditions too, kwim?

MNgirl326

I would never tell someone that they couldn't make a gift, if they want to make something that is their choice.  

Personally if she wants to make one, I would just let her make one.  You could have it hang somewhere else or she could make it for her house when you come to visit. 

Part of Christmas is family traditions, and your MIL is still family, whether or not it is exactly how you want to do things.  

I think telling her she can't is asking for more trouble and hurt feelings than it is worth. 

 

MWoodside

yes it's rude. 

Shandie_725

Let MIL make the stocking, and perhaps make a story up about how Santa knows that LO gets gifts at Grandma's and wanted to leave anorther stockong there since he's been a good boy.

ASmallWonder

For us, we've told all family that Santa gifts will only be "left" at our house.  So they're free to do as they wish but nothing they give can be from Santa.  I think that will be a good compromise for you because LO's Santa stocking is going to be more exciting to him because of who it's from.  MIL can make one as one of her gifts.

karatechrissy

elmoali:

For us, we've told all family that Santa gifts will only be "left" at our house.  So they're free to do as they wish but nothing they give can be from Santa.  I think that will be a good compromise for you because LO's Santa stocking is going to be more exciting to him because of who it's from.  MIL can make one as one of her gifts.

This.

naturelle25

I dont see why in the world you would tell your MIL not to make your LO a gift. It makes her happy & isnt hurting anyone...let it go.

IrishBrideND

yes its rude. If she wants to have one for him, she can.

It doesn't take away from how special it is. I had about 3 stockings (divorced parents and one set of grandparents), and one was a WAY bigger deal than the others and as a kid I got much more excited about that one.

BamBam510

Whoops, one misunderstanding is that if she wants to make his stocking for our house that is TOTALLY fine with me.  I realize I worded that wrong.  I guess I'm just stuck on how we did things, we never got stockings from anywhere else.  My other worry is that I don't want him getting one at her house, and then wondering why he doesn't get one at my parents.  I do like the one posters suggestion that gifts from Santa are only at our house.  So if she does do one, as long as its clear that its from Grandma and not Santa then that is a good compromise.

AdaraMarie

I think you should be able to have traditions the way you want to have them.  I think you can ask her not to do it.  I do think it would probably hurt her feelings though, so I wouldn't do it unless your husband is in agreement.  I would want to make sure he agreed in case she went to him complaining about it.  She can make him a gift without it being in a stocking - she could even take the same stuff and put it in a box.  I don't think you are wrong.  I have never heard of having a stocking at someone else's house, it doesn't make any sense.

IrishBrideND

mistyblue182:

Whoops, one misunderstanding is that if she wants to make his stocking for our house that is TOTALLY fine with me.  I realize I worded that wrong.  I guess I'm just stuck on how we did things, we never got stockings from anywhere else.  My other worry is that I don't want him getting one at her house, and then wondering why he doesn't get one at my parents.  I do like the one posters suggestion that gifts from Santa are only at our house.  So if she does do one, as long as its clear that its from Grandma and not Santa then that is a good compromise.

I got one from one grandparent set and not the other. I was never confused. I honestly think you are thinking too much into it

Also realize that you are melding two sets of traditions, and by adding a few more traditions, it doesn't mean you are taking away from yours.

MNgirl326

mistyblue182:

Whoops, one misunderstanding is that if she wants to make his stocking for our house that is TOTALLY fine with me.  I realize I worded that wrong.  I guess I'm just stuck on how we did things, we never got stockings from anywhere else.  My other worry is that I don't want him getting one at her house, and then wondering why he doesn't get one at my parents.  I do like the one posters suggestion that gifts from Santa are only at our house.  So if she does do one, as long as its clear that its from Grandma and not Santa then that is a good compromise.

Kids are pretty smart and they can tell the difference between grandparents and their households.  

I think you are kind of worrying for nothing on that one. 

You are married and have a child, so it isn't just YOUR way anymore.  You need to find a way to blend traditions and compromise. 

Also, remember Christmas isn't really about stockings and Santa Claus......

sturgeje

abartow:

I would never tell someone that they couldn't make a gift, if they want to make something that is their choice.  

Personally if she wants to make one, I would just let her make one.  You could have it hang somewhere else or she could make it for her house when you come to visit. 

Part of Christmas is family traditions, and your MIL is still family, whether or not it is exactly how you want to do things.  

I think telling her she can't is asking for more trouble and hurt feelings than it is worth. 

 

 

this exactly.  sometimes you just have to pick your battles...this one is worth letting go, IMO.  

jilicious

Just, for one moment, imagine the conversation in which you tell your husband's mother that she cannot make her grandchild a Christmas stocking.

Just imagine that. 

ASmallWonder

abartow:

mistyblue182:

Whoops, one misunderstanding is that if she wants to make his stocking for our house that is TOTALLY fine with me.  I realize I worded that wrong.  I guess I'm just stuck on how we did things, we never got stockings from anywhere else.  My other worry is that I don't want him getting one at her house, and then wondering why he doesn't get one at my parents.  I do like the one posters suggestion that gifts from Santa are only at our house.  So if she does do one, as long as its clear that its from Grandma and not Santa then that is a good compromise.

Kids are pretty smart and they can tell the difference between grandparents and their households.  

I think you are kind of worrying for nothing on that one. 

You are married and have a child, so it isn't just YOUR way anymore.  You need to find a way to blend traditions and compromise. 

Also, remember Christmas isn't really about stockings and Santa Claus......

This isn't true for everyone.  For my family, Santa, gifts etc. are a huge reason we enjoy Christmas.  We love everything about Christmas that ISN'T religious - the tree, lights, songs and yes, Santa and gifts  

MNgirl326

elmoali:

abartow:

mistyblue182:

Whoops, one misunderstanding is that if she wants to make his stocking for our house that is TOTALLY fine with me.  I realize I worded that wrong.  I guess I'm just stuck on how we did things, we never got stockings from anywhere else.  My other worry is that I don't want him getting one at her house, and then wondering why he doesn't get one at my parents.  I do like the one posters suggestion that gifts from Santa are only at our house.  So if she does do one, as long as its clear that its from Grandma and not Santa then that is a good compromise.

Kids are pretty smart and they can tell the difference between grandparents and their households.  

I think you are kind of worrying for nothing on that one. 

You are married and have a child, so it isn't just YOUR way anymore.  You need to find a way to blend traditions and compromise. 

Also, remember Christmas isn't really about stockings and Santa Claus......

This isn't true for everyone.  For my family, Santa, gifts etc. are a huge reason we enjoy Christmas.  We love everything about Christmas that ISN'T religious - the tree, lights, songs and yes, Santa and gifts  

I totally understand that, but it also about family, which includes her MIL

BamBam510

IrishBrideND:

mistyblue182:

Whoops, one misunderstanding is that if she wants to make his stocking for our house that is TOTALLY fine with me.  I realize I worded that wrong.  I guess I'm just stuck on how we did things, we never got stockings from anywhere else.  My other worry is that I don't want him getting one at her house, and then wondering why he doesn't get one at my parents.  I do like the one posters suggestion that gifts from Santa are only at our house.  So if she does do one, as long as its clear that its from Grandma and not Santa then that is a good compromise.

I got one from one grandparent set and not the other. I was never confused. I honestly think you are thinking too much into it

Also realize that you are melding two sets of traditions, and by adding a few more traditions, it doesn't mean you are taking away from yours.

I totally am.  I think its because of my strong distaste for my MIL around the holidays.  She is constantly whining, she is very much all about presents and Christmas ends up being miserable because she's never happy.   We go there in the morning, and she complains we ahve to leave, we go there later and she complains we weren't there earlier because she doesn't like having to wait to open presents.  So I guess I'm just dreading things a bit with her this year and am looking for ways to put her in her place or something.  

I will let her do a stocking if she wants as long as its clear its from Grandma and Grandpa, and not Santa.

 

msditz00

I have never heard of someone besides the parents trying to pass off gifts as something from Santa. 

I don't even like my MIL and I wouldn't think twice about this.  Just because something is packaged in a stocking doesn't make it from Santa.

BelhurstBride

You're making a mountain out of a molehill. Holidays are no longer about you and what your family did. It's about your new family, which includes your husbands family. Traditions that you enjoyed as a child have to change to include traditions your DH enjoyed or things that his family would like to do for their grandchild.

mfaris89

Could you let her make him the stocking and use that one at your house?  I doubt she'd have a problem with making it and letting you take it home.