Disappointed in myself

LeoChic

Back in December, I delivered DD#2.  I was lucky and ended up with no PP weight to lose.  The same thing happened when I had DD#1.  To be fair, I was incredibly sick during both of my pregnancies.  I only ended up gaining about 23 pounds with each pregnancy and with each delivery, I came out of the hospital weighing less than I did pre-pregnancy.  So the circumstances behind my weight loss were not great, but I was still glad that I didn't have the typical PP weight issues right after delivery.

I'm not big by any means.  But I wish I was more fit.  I gain weight in my stomach area to the point that I look pregnant.  I'm small everywhere else.  Well before my second pregnancy, when DD#1 was about a year old, my neighbor thought I was pregnant and asked me when I was due.  Even then I wasn't motivated enough to work it off.

So after I had DD#2, I looked great (if I do say so myself, LOL).  I felt so good about my body.  There's a picture of me right around May and I was really happy with how I looked.  I had promised myself that unlike my first PP experience, I would keep myself in good shape.  Then July hit and I hurt my back.  I was down for weeks and just as I was getting better, I hurt it again in August.  I started physical therapy at the beginning of September and just finished last week.   Basically from the time that pic was taken, I've been somewhat limited in what I can do.  Although I'll admit that I think I let it become an excuse.

Anyway, we took the kids to the park today and I was downloading pics off of my camera and am horrified.  There's pics of me walking with DD#1 and I seriously look pregnant.  I just feel so stupid for letting myself go again.  I'm mad that I'm making it harder on myself than it ever needed to be since I had the head start after my delivery.  At this moment, I just want to go for a run but I know that it's just a temporary motivator and after a couple days I'll go back to the normal routine.

I guess I just needed to get this out as a vent.  I wish I knew tricks to keep myself motivated.  

jettagurl

I hear you - I've done well with weight gain (also had horrible MS) with all 3 pregnancies.  I have had a terrible time getting motivated to do something. Right now, I weigh nearly as much as when I went into the hospital to have the twins.  I've been disgusted, but more because it is so depressing to me.  Just this week I started counting points (the WW plan - but not doing meetings - I can't) and I started the 30 Day Shred.  I've finally decided that I really hate this about me, and until I do something about it, I can't expect some other areas of my life to get better (like some horrible back pain I've had that started while pregnant with #2, and feeling like my more social self and making some new friends). 

It's hard.  And its hard when you take pics and think you look alright, then you see them and its totally the opposite. 

 So no advice, just that I 'get it.'  GL! 

laughteriskey

If you could figure out those tricks, please fill me in!

I will exercise like a MAD WOMAN for weeks.  It usually lasts about 5 weeks.  I don't see enough results, get discouraged, say eff it and stop doing it.

And I feel beyond awesome when I am exercising.  Yet even that won't keep me motivated.

Sometimes I wish my husband was a douchebag that would ride me about my weight.  Instead he reassures me that I'm fine the way I am.  So I keep on eating and drinking.  It's really sad! 

(((HUGS))) Wish I had some advice for you!  All I have is commisseration. (is that even a word?!)