NBR: Your opinion needed

feistyred23

Some of you know that I got remarried about three months ago and while I wasn't expecting a huge amount of gifts or cards, I did find it odd that some of my friends that attended the wedding from my hometown didn't bring anything or even try to stop by our home.(They were invited to but declined so they could hang out at a bar instead). I'm not going to lie and say that it didn't hurt my feelings quite a bit since some of these friends knew what a hard time I had after my divorce and how happy and thankful I was to meet my DH. They haven't attempted any contact with me since then and I'm not sure if I should just get over it and assume that when you get married a second time, it's just not as big of a deal or if you would feel justified in feeling upset. Thoughts on this?

kaysi82

IMO the gift thing wouldn't be a big deal as much as the friendship.
I would try to contact them if you value the friendship.

sophabelle

the gift thing honestly, would probably bug me a little...  esp if it wasn't a 2nd wedding for your dh.  a lot of people tend to forget that just bc it's a 2nd wedding for one person in the couple, it isn't always for the other... so i feel like people who think that 2nd weddings aren't as special can easily ruin a special day bc of that way of thinking...

that said, i would be really upset that they chose to go hang out at a bar instead of stopping by.  stopping by doesn't require a gift, heck you probably had drinks at your house!  i would be really hurt that people who were supposed to be my friends chose to go out drinking instead.  

if you really do value your friendship, then i would try reaching out, but otherwise, screw them!  doesn't sound like they're very good friends!  did they come to the wedding at all? 

cate1119

This is a tough situation.  Do you think they'd rather hang out at the bar b/c they didn't support your marriage or did they really just want to hang out at the bar.  I ask b/c I was in a similar situation with my DH.  It was his 2nd marriage and my 1st and a lot of his family did not agree with divorce and thus he remarrying (heaven forbid) so they all boycotted the wedding!  He also had some friends that didn't come b/c they thought he was rushing into things (we started dating right after he separated and got married 6 months after his divorce was finalized - total time together dating almost 2 years). 

They could also just feel awkward and not know what to say.  Regardless - I would try to reach out to them and see what their response is - if they are still being kind of iffy - then I saw - screw em!  I'm sorry you're dealing with this though - must be hard to be so happy with your new hubby, but have your friends being this way.