Update to DS's daycare worker being a sn@tch

katpres06

Ok, well that's not nice. But some of you may remember awhile ago me saying that one of DS's daycare workers has a problem with me.

Well today we got to talk about it. When I dropped him off this morning, she had a list of about 5 things that she wanted to talk to me about. A few of them were just logistic things - but one had to do with him spitting up, and him passing gas too much.

So I just came right out and asked her if there was something I had done to upset her, or if she had an issue with DS. Because we had talked about those things before, and quite frankly, I can't stop him from farting. I give him gas drops and the pedi is not concerned.

Anyway, long story short. I met with her and the director. Daycare worker admitted that she took issue with my place of employment. We talked about why, she ended up apologizing. I threatened to pull DS out because I said I felt like he was not safe and cared for (which is a lie, I know he's totally safe but I wanted them to know I was serious). She cried a little, saying that she loves DS and she didn't realize that her personal feelings were coming out towards me, blah blah blah.

I feel better though. She apologized and admitted she was doing something that wasn't ok. She insisted that this did not at all affect the care that DS got. The director was happy I said something, and said she would take 'appropriate action' - but I don't want the lady fired. Just stop coming to me with stupid sh!t, for real. So we'll see how it goes...

Moesten

Good for you, Kat! So glad you addressed it head on. And it sounds like you did so in a dignified and professional manner. I hope she is able to act as professionally and stop with the nonsense.

And seriously, passing gas too much? WTF? He's a baby - it's what they do. Passing gas is their speciality.  

sistrkate

Oh, I am so glad you got to clear the air.  I think it was handled well too since the director was present, and I'm glad she apologized to you.  I hope it's smooth sailing from now on.

addslove

Wow...how unprofessional of her!  But I'm glad things have been worked out.

allobosc

Great way to handle the situation!  I can't believe she acted that way.  Now that is a definite daycare issue.

jerseygirl81

Glad you were able to clear the air. I hope she realizes that she was being a judgmental asshat.

sprads

I am glad you confronted this and got it taken care of - I bet she isn't allowed to come to you for stupid things anymore.

Lyons_in_2007

Moesten:

Good for you, Kat! So glad you addressed it head on. And it sounds like you did so in a dignified and professional manner. I hope she is able to act as professionally and stop with the nonsense.

And seriously, passing gas too much? WTF? He's a baby - it's what they do. Passing gas is their speciality.  

This!

KristenBtobe

Good for you. 

katpres06

Moesten:

And seriously, passing gas too much? WTF? He's a baby - it's what they do. Passing gas is their speciality.  

Right?!? That was really the last straw. When she told me that, it took everything in me not to slap her across the face.

sistrkate

I have to wonder what she was trying to accomplish by bringing up stupid, trivial items to you all the time.  Was she just trying to get under your skin so you would withdraw him, and she wouldn't have to deal with you?  I don't really see where she was trying to drive that train.

Moesten

sistrkate:

I have to wonder what she was trying to accomplish by bringing up stupid, trivial items to you all the time.  Was she just trying to get under your skin so you would withdraw him, and she wouldn't have to deal with you?  I don't really see where she was trying to drive that train.

I have a theory on this. I think daycare worker kept talking to Kat because she really does hate Kat's job but likes Kat and her son and she (daycare worker) feels strangely about the "I like her but hate what she believes in" dichotomy. So I think she (subconsciously) kept coming to Kat with complaints hoping Kat would react in a nasty way thus confirming the girl's belief that Kat must be horrible and thus calming the cognitive dissonance she was experiencing. As soon as Kat said something horrible or went off on her then the daycare worker could say to herself, "See, she really is horrible and I was right about her all the time." So in a nutshell I think the daycare worker felt weird about liking Kat and was trying to find a way not to like her. Subconsciously ofcourse. 

Mrs.Cooley2bee

Moesten:

sistrkate:

I have to wonder what she was trying to accomplish by bringing up stupid, trivial items to you all the time.  Was she just trying to get under your skin so you would withdraw him, and she wouldn't have to deal with you?  I don't really see where she was trying to drive that train.

I have a theory on this. I think daycare worker kept talking to Kat because she really does hate Kat's job but likes Kat and her son and she (daycare worker) feels strangely about the "I like her but hate what she believes in" dichotomy. So I think she (subconsciously) kept coming to Kat with complaints hoping Kat would react in a nasty way thus confirming the girl's belief that Kat must be horrible and thus calming the cognitive dissonance she was experiencing. As soon as Kat said something horrible or went off on her then the daycare worker could say to herself, "See, she really is horrible and I was right about her all the time." So in a nutshell I think the daycare worker felt weird about liking Kat and was trying to find a way not to like her. Subconsciously ofcourse. 

That actually sounds like a really good explination.  Maybe she needs to realize that you can like people that have different life views and leave it at that.  As professional adults we all have to deal with this. 

sistrkate

Mrs.Cooley2bee:

Moesten:

sistrkate:

I have to wonder what she was trying to accomplish by bringing up stupid, trivial items to you all the time.  Was she just trying to get under your skin so you would withdraw him, and she wouldn't have to deal with you?  I don't really see where she was trying to drive that train.

I have a theory on this. I think daycare worker kept talking to Kat because she really does hate Kat's job but likes Kat and her son and she (daycare worker) feels strangely about the "I like her but hate what she believes in" dichotomy. So I think she (subconsciously) kept coming to Kat with complaints hoping Kat would react in a nasty way thus confirming the girl's belief that Kat must be horrible and thus calming the cognitive dissonance she was experiencing. As soon as Kat said something horrible or went off on her then the daycare worker could say to herself, "See, she really is horrible and I was right about her all the time." So in a nutshell I think the daycare worker felt weird about liking Kat and was trying to find a way not to like her. Subconsciously ofcourse. 

That actually sounds like a really good explination.  Maybe she needs to realize that you can like people that have different life views and leave it at that.  As professional adults we all have to deal with this. 

Thanks for your thoughts, Moesten.......I think that makes a whole ton of sense.

And Cooley, I completely agree with you.  It's tough for people sometimes to separate their views from their opinion of the actual person.  Politics/politicians come to mind.

katpres06

Like Moesten said, I think she was just trying to find a reason to not like me. She never really meant anything bad towards Alex. She'll get over it though

Lyons_in_2007

I love me some passive-aggressive personalities. 

klee411

I'm glad you got everything resolved! But I must have missed the original post - and I hope you don't mind me asking - where in the heck do you work that this lady has so much mental anguish over?

kel716

I'm so glad you got this resolved!

It seriously sounds like the woman is a little immature from a professional standpoint.  Moesten's analysis was spot on IMHO.  Anyway, hopefully this is the end of it.  It sounds like one of those things where the director will make note of it and continue to monitor her.  GL!

mrs.george2be04

I'm really proud of you for stepping up and saying something.  I'm Ms. Non-confrontational and I don't think I would have been able to.  She was wrong for treating you that way, no matter how well she cares for Alex.  I hope she learned a valuable lesson and it didn't cost her her job.  I'm also LOLing that she says Alex passes gas too much.  Someone is awfully up in arms about baby farts. ;-)

OliveBaby

WOW, seriously? That's pretty stupid. But I'm glad it's resolved; good for you for speaking up!