Working parents with school-aged kids, what is your evening like?

heyitsme

I'm trying to get an idea of what other people's nights are like (let's say between the time you get home and the time you go to bed) in terms of routine/schedule for the kids and yourself.

At night, 4 school nights/week, I am pretty much a "single parent" as DH works evenings and comes home after DD and I are both in bed and asleep. But I'm feeling spread SO thin and even with trying to tackle things at night (like packing lunches, choosing clothing, etc.) to make the mornings go smoother, I feel like I'm missing out on just chilling out with DD. 

But then, like last night, I didn't do a lot of the "night before" stuff so that I could play a game with DD, and that made this morning totally chaotic and she was almost late for school! In the morning I don't have much help from DH, either, as he sleeps later (he does work a 2nd job during the day but it starts later) and I know he needs his sleep since he works so much.... so having an extra set of hands isn't really an option.

ccm1203

Hectic, as are mornings.   DH picks DS up at the sitters at 4:30ish.  I get home with DD at 6ish.  We eat (DH has dinner done or almost done), I take DS work from the day out of his bag and we discuss at dinner, I do the dishes then I sometimes either get lunch ready for the next day (if there are shows I want to watch at 8) or hang out with the kids.  Bedtime is by 8pm so I am rushed at night.    As I said mornings are hectic too because H is out the door before anyone is up.    

Khoulton

I feel the same way about missing out on chilling out with the kids. We get home at about 5:30, I start dinner and DD plays or watches a little TV (she usually has just come off the play ground at school, so she is hot and tired) DH is usually holding DD2, feeding her or putting her to sleep for her mini nap. We eat dinner at about 6-6:15 and then after that I clean up the dinner stuff at around 6:45 and try to sit and at least watch DD as she sings to us, or puts on some sort of imaginary show or she is our waitress and brings us food. While I am sitting sometimes I can fold laundry or something. If its bath night I get her in there about 7:15 and while she bathes I can load the dishwasher or wash bottles. She goes to bed at 8,  sometimes (not as often as I should)  we read a book. After she is in bed and DD2 is napping, I get everything ready for tomorrow- lunches, bookbag, diaper bag, my bag. Then I get what I need for the night ready for DD2 (we formula feed, so I pre-measure the amounts and put the water in the bottles)

There are nights that I just let everything go and we have dinner on the floor in the living room and watch a movie or we have something quick and go outside and she plays with chalk or whatever while DH and I watch and DD2 is in her swing. I have been through two deployments with my husband so I know how it feels to be a "single parent" sometimes you just have to depend on pre-packaged dinner, laundry that won't be done until later and dishes that sit for a day.

HeyKid

Ugh. My husband works nights too. I pick up the kids and get home between 5:30-6. Some times I have dinner prepped from the night before and can just throw it in the oven. Most of the time I don't. We eat around 6:30, then I clean the kitchen and give the kids a bath around 7:30. My husband usually gets home between 8-9. I try to get the kids in bed by 8:30 but sometimes they cry and want to stay up to see Daddy. Then I do laundry/clean/go to the gym/pack lunches until I collapse around 11:30-midnight. Then I get up by 6 and start it all over again. :-/

indigo91804

Insanity. I work Monday nights so I am never home. DH has his own routine. Tues. I have off and we actually eat at around 6:30. I try to have homework done before we eat. Feed the dog. Shower/bath night, bed and story by 8. W/Th DH makes dinner since he gets home first. I'm home at 6:30. Madness breaks out and somehow we get to bed by 8:30. Dishes in our house get done in the morning a lot as DH and I are too wiped out. I clean on the weekends and we do laundry as necessary (usually one load a day). I make lunches M and Tu mornings, Grammy aka the nanny does it Weds. and Th/F DH does them. I have enough containers for 3 days worth of lunches so they are on constant rotation. Each of us has two lunch boxes too. 

Joenali

Can the kids help out with making lunches? It would obviously take some guidance from you to start with but one they know how to do it you could focus on something else.

#6

Im no help because my work schedule is 5:30am-2pm.  Im home by 3pm to get all the kids off their buses that run ab 3:15 & 3:30.  On M&W we play outside, have a snack, do Ls homework, and go to Ls football practice from 6-7.  On those nights we have dinner late at 7:30-8 and then the kids go to bed.  I try to prep dinner during the day (since Im off on M&W) so all I have to do is actually cook/bake it.  Tonight we are having stuffed peppers and Im making them today so they only have to bake for 15mins when we get home. 

On Thursdays nights the girls have dance from 5-6 so we have playtime, snacks and go to dance where L does his homework.  Then we come home and I make dinner.  Bedtime at 8pm. 

Tuesdays and Fridays are our nights where we dont go anywhere.  After this Sunday L will only have practice 1xwk so that will help.  For those days we play, snack, watch tv I make dinner, play with the kids, eat and bedtime at 8. 

Is there anyway that on the weekends you get the school clothes ready for the week?  Get one of those closet hanging things that has 5 seperate cubby holes.  (hope that makes sense) and put 1 outfit in each cubby.  That would free up that time at night.  Maybe then you could pack lunch in the AM while your dc gets dressed. 

 

neverblushed

Things always seem to feel a little rushed for us.  On the plus side, I teach, so I generally get home in the afternoon, close to the time when the kids get home.  Also, we do not watch any TV during the evenings at all, which really frees up a lot of time.

On the down side, both DH and I commute an hour to work, and our kids attend 2 different elementary schools, which complicates things a bit.

Anyway, our routine is basically as follows:

--3:15 - DS gets home; 3:55 - pick DD up from her bus stop.  They play, have a snack, relax, or read until about 4:15 or 4:30.

--4:15/4:30 -- homework time.  I monitor homework, check email, grade papers, or fold laundry until it's time to make dinner.

--5:30 -- I cook, DH returns from bike ride and showers, he does some household chores and keeps DS busy.  DD may finish hw during this hour or may need to keep working after dinner a bit.

--6:30ish -- we eat dinner, then clean up the kitchen

--7:00 -- grab bag! Usually we finish up hw. Sometimes we run errands.  In nice weather we might walk up to the school and throw the frisbee or take the r/c airplane out, etc.  This is when I read chapter books out loud to the kids, etc.  Possibly we play a game together.  Or if any major household chores need done, we pitch in and do them at this point.

8:00 -- kids get ready for bed and we tuck them in.  DS can read until 8:30; DD can read until 9:15ish.

After the kids are tucked in, DH and I usually kick back and relax, or I may have papers to grade or stuff to do for school.  DH does the crossword and I play video games.

katie277s

Well I am on maternity leave, so our evenings are a little less hectic then they will be once I am back at work. 

Right now, DH gets home around 5 and picks up DS1 from school.  I try to have dinner at least started.  After dinner, I clean the kitchen while DH feeds DS2 and DS1 watches a video.  I pack DS's lunch while cleaning the kitchen.  After the kitchen is clean, I start baths.  Once DS1 is bathed, teeth brushed and ready for bed, we play until bedtime (8PM).  

Once DS1 is in bed, we get DS2 ready for bed.  He's usually down around 9PM, and then DH and I hang out until we go to bed.  

Kaylie Plus 1

Boy your post sounds familiar. 

I pick DD up from after-school care and we usually get home close to 5:45.  Husband usually gets dinner started and by the time we eat and clean up it is close to 6:30/7:00.  DD then needs to do some homework (which we need to assist with), have time to play or watch a cartoon or two, then begin getting ready for bed.  Getting ready for bed is a process in its own - get jammies on, brush teeth, brush hair, read books, etc.  She usually has bath time about 3 times a week.  While one of us is helping with her the other is making lunches, preparing for the next day, picking up around the house.  So, yes having 2 hours from the time we get home until her bedtime is go, go, go.  And whatever doesn't get done at night makes for a chaotic morning.

There needs to be more hours in the day for us working families.  Since the nights during the week are full of day-to-day stuff, the weekends are filled with errands, cleaning, grocery shopping, laundry... the list is never ending.  And to think in a couple months I will have a little one on top of all of this.  Definitely will have to be fitting a housekeeper into my budget!!