got my first "I'm Sorry"

monkski

We had a contractor here to quote us on a new roof and when I told him I had twins, he commented "I'm sorry". In that tone that said he really did feel sorry for me. I wanted to kick him in the crotch!  Of course, it didn't hit me until it was too late, so I didn't say anything back, but it really pissed me off. I LOVE being a twin mom and wouldn't have it any other way. I feel bad for people with just one baby!

Unless his quote is amazing, I think he lost my business. I don't know why this bothers me so much. I just wish I had said something back.

macchiatto

I tend to wonder if people who say stuff like that had a really colicky baby of their own or something, so imagining that doubled makes them feel for you. I don't let it bother me (but then, I've rarely heard that; I more often hear "Double blessing!" "I've always wanted twins!" or of course the ubiquitous, "You have your hands full!")

Skylarv217

I'm trying really hard to believe that people don't mean it. They really don't know what to say unless they've been there. And believe me as happy as I was when I found out there were 2 babies.... it soon turned to panic and terror..... and slowly back to joy and happiness. Thinking about everything I was unprepared for and getting up with two babies at night. 

I think a lot of times that is the first thing that crosses people's minds, they don't have a chance to think about all the good things, so to them that is an appropriate response...  even thought it ws a truly horrible thing to say !

Shannonlea

I hear that from men all the time-  i think they associate babies with crying, poopy diapers and not sleeping and the thought of that times two is horrible to them.

That being said, it is hard to hear comments like "Im sorry" or "Better you than me"  but I have come to realize that people don't think before they speak.

amanda31H

When I was 18 weeks pregnant and people found out we were having twins, we went to a party and the father of our friend went up to my husband and said, "I want to offer you my condolences."

My husband was taken back at first because he thought maybe someone had died and he wasn't aware!  I was so pissed off when I heard that!

But it's true that most of the time you get "Oh how fun" "I've always wanted twins" or "You have your hands full."  Just ignore the other comments.  People just don't know what to say.

pea-kay

either people are joking or are stupid, and in either case, it's inappropriate. just know it's going to happen again and you need to have a response ready. i always say, "don't be sorry, i love having triplets!" (but it'd probably be better if you substituted "twins" for "triplets" unless you really want to freak people out! ha ha!)

Haven1

The "I'd kill myself" is my personal favorite.  Why would you think that's appropriate to say to a person about their children? 

jannymcg

I understand.  I just usually ignore it, too.  I think people are "trying" to be comedians and just don't get it.  Today, I got, "I heard your good news.  It is good news right?"  And for a brief second I was offended, but I told her it was GREAT news.  : )