Annoying comment

red0427

So I went in my bank today to have them notarize a paper for me. They're generally very nice, know DH, DS and I by name, make a big deal when we come in. Usually, I really like the people there.

Anyway, today I'm getting this paper notarized and the manager looks at me and says: "Are you having another baby?"

Not thinking anything of it, I smile and say, "Yes."

She looks at me sideways and says, "Giiiiirl -- you've got to stop!" and laughs.

The smile drops from my face, I look at DS, and say, "Um, I only have one."

How freakin' annoying!!!! I mean, REALLY! Even IF SS and SD were mine, that would only make this one the 4th child. It's not as if I have 10 other kids and am on welfare! I've given birth once. ONE TIME in my life. If I had MY way, I'd have at least TWO more kids. But we're stopping with this one, because I chose to marry a man who already had two children with his ex-wife. Could I have NOT married him? Yes. Would that have kept me from having a mess of kids? Nope. In fact, I'd probably be having MORE if I hadn't married DH, so there would actually be MORE children in this world than there are with me being married to DH.

But really, who is she to decide that I need to stop having kids? I wanted to punch her.

sistrkate

That's an extremely rude thing to say!  I just don't think there's anything defensible about what she said, or the way she said it.  People need to learn when to keep their mouths shut!

adamsbabble

I had someone comment "Haven't you figured out what causes that?"

Grrrr.  Actually, yes, I have figured it out and had sex on purpose when I was ovulating.  That must make me really crazy, right?  As long as my husband and I are taking care of them and providing for them ourselves, what business is it of anyone else's?  People are so rude.

Kle2922

I think you should go back to the bank and punch her! I'm punching her right now for you also!!!

Lyons_in_2007

What an effing tool. 

johnandkristin

I get those comments all the time. I've had the "don't you know why that keeps happening?" comment, the "so you're done after this one, right?" comment, the straight "you're crazy" comment...we're very much used to it by now.

That lady was rude. None of her business, end of story. 

red0427

Seriously, I was shocked when she said it. Like I'm poppin' out kids left and right. I waited until I was 34 to get pregnant the first time, and now I'll be nearly 38 when I have THIS baby. So it's not as if I'm running around being totally irresponsible, having a ton of kids. I'm already sad enough that this is going to be my last baby. Comments like that don't make it any easier.

Besides, my husband is the youngest of 10. What if my MIL had listened to someone making a comment like that to her?  My mom is the 10th of 14 kids. At which baby do you decide to stop? If MIL hadn't had 10 kids, and my gma hadn't had at least 10, I wouldn't have one.

Stupid lady. I don't know why I let it bother me. Her comment isn't going to make me NOT have this baby! So what does it matter?

adamsbabble

And I'm just wondering why it is considered crazy to have 2-4 children these days?  I really don't get it.  2-4 children is a far cry from having 10 kids and your own reality show, which I have no desire to do.

In our family, I think we are considered "crazy" for having them on purpose.  We're definitley in the minority on that in our family.  I would think that would make us less crazy, but whatever.

I'm learning to not let these comments get to me.  It just is what it is.  There will never be a shortage of stupid.

Meg41208

eh, it goes both ways though.  one of my co-irkers keeps asking me if I'm ready to have another baby.  yeah, we're so not close enough to be talking about my family planning... did I forget and wear my "ask me about my uterus sign?"

hannah&ben

People are so stupid... strangers and even family and friends do it too!! It's infuriating!

Some very close family members were extremely rude when they found out we were trying to have Henry.. "WHY ON EARTH would you want ANOTHER one?? You already have one of each!!"  "I can't believe you're doing ALL THAT to have another baby, you should be happy with what you have".

As if 2 children, one male and one female are all anyone should ever want in their family.  As if I'm not happy with the 2 I have.. quite the opposite actually.  I love them so much, I want more!  Excuse me!! Our family wasn't finished yet... and truth be told it still really isn't but due to all of the medical stuff we have to be done but, it's not our choice.

People like that get on my last nerve.  I would NEVER comment on a persons family planning business without being asked for my opinion. Now, if you have 6 kids, you smoke and have no job or partner and are talking about wanting to get KU again then I'll probably talk about you behind your back   But, I wouldn't say rude things to you.

Hannah

 

Mrs_D_in_KY

Meg41208:

eh, it goes both ways though.  one of my co-irkers keeps asking me if I'm ready to have another baby.  yeah, we're so not close enough to be talking about my family planning... did I forget and wear my "ask me about my uterus sign?"

I wonder sometimes if I have this plastered on my forehead. Everyone in my family keeps asking me when the next one is coming, I tell them "when you decide to carry it for me." I didn't enjoy pregnancy after my bleeding and bedrest, plus DS is still not even close to STTN. I'm in no rush at all for #2.

Mrs.Cooley2bee

hannah&ben:

Now, if you have 6 kids, you smoke and have no job or partner and are talking about wanting to get KU again then I'll probably talk about you behind your back   But, I wouldn't say rude things to you.

Haha - this is exactly what I was thinking.

I don't get annoyed with people too easily and a few comments have made me a bit angry.  I hate the "Didn't you figure out how that happen the first time?".  Ummm, yes I do know and I wasn't being 'careful' - so there!  I like to joke about having my first two close together but people can go a bit overboard.

adamsbabble

Mrs.Cooley2bee:

hannah&ben:

Now, if you have 6 kids, you smoke and have no job or partner and are talking about wanting to get KU again then I'll probably talk about you behind your back   But, I wouldn't say rude things to you.

Haha - this is exactly what I was thinking.

I don't get annoyed with people too easily and a few comments have made me a bit angry.  I hate the "Didn't you figure out how that happen the first time?".  Ummm, yes I do know and I wasn't being 'careful' - so there!  I like to joke about having my first two close together but people can go a bit overboard.

Ditto Hannah.  It was actually one of these types who made the "Haven't you figured out what causes that?" comment to me.  It was nice to not feel the need to respond to that because it was just that stupid, especially coming from her.  Like you, I try not to judge but you really have to wonder why some people decided to become parents when they say things like that?

And MrsCooley, we also wanted our kids to all be close together, and people comment on that.   They like to let me know that I'm going to have my hands full (as if I don't already) and I just repsond "That's fine.  They're fun.  And I like to stay busy."  It annoys people when you're positive about their negativity.  Besides, that is truly how I feel.  They are fun. 

Missbollinger

adamsbabble:

I had someone comment "Haven't you figured out what causes that?"

Grrrr.  Actually, yes, I have figured it out and had sex on purpose when I was ovulating.  That must make me really crazy, right?  As long as my husband and I are taking care of them and providing for them ourselves, what business is it of anyone else's?  People are so rude.

 

THIS!!  I get this a lot from people who don't know us very well.   We had lots of problems TTC DS2 and it took us close to 7 years and now we have 2 and expecting a third we're suppose to stop!  Well pooh to them, we're going for one more.

MrsMandaK

It's all just a product of the culture we live in.  One that somehow sees life and the willingness to bring more of it into your life as a bad thing.  Ugh!  Sorry this person was so rude to you.

sistrkate

MrsMandaK:

It's all just a product of the culture we live in.  One that somehow sees life and the willingness to bring more of it into your life as a bad thing.  Ugh!  Sorry this person was so rude to you.

I think you're onto something here.  A lot of people think that kids get in the way of living life, and put things on hold to have a family.  When I was pregnant with Justin, I worked with a woman who married young and had her only child when she was in her early 20's (like maybe 21).   She told me how impatient she was when her daughter was young, and was anxious for her to grow up so she could get on with living her own life without a child dragging her down.  She said she only realized, when her daughter was in her 30's and moved out of her house, that that WAS her life and she wished she'd enjoyed it more instead of wishing those years would hurry up.

I feel the same way as some of the rest of you -- if I were younger, we would definitely be having one or two more kids!

chrissyrph

Ugh.  People are so dumb!