My Natural Birth
Madison Kelly is here!
This
birth story is a long one but I want moms that are considering a
natural birth to know that it's not that bad. I think having anxiety
about giving birth is normal but after reading so many scary stories, I
wanted to post a real positive and exciting tale that will hopefully
ease some minds.
For
those of you who don't know, I went in to preterm labor at 32 weeks.
You can read all about that here. I was on bed rest for 6 weeks thinking
this baby was going to come everyday. It was tough thinking that each
day she should come and it was even worse having everyone ask if she
was coming soon. By 39 weeks I was physically and emotionally tired. I
just wanted the baby here so bad. The back and hip pains mixed with
irregular contractions started to mentally pull me apart. I often
wondered if I was really going to be strong enough for a natural labor
that Todd and I have hopped and studied for for the last nine months.
On
September 22, 2010 I was 39 weeks and 2 days. I was excited all day
because it was going to be a full harvest moon that night. I figured if
I mixed every house wife tale together, labor would HAVE to start. I
ate eggplant the night before. I walked 4 miles everyday in the park
to keep a routine, but on this day I walked with one foot on the
pavement and one on the curb. For dinner, all I wanted was some
Mexican food so Todd and I went to Tinga. It was 2 entrees, 2
appetizers, for $20. You can't beat that.
We
had a massive thunderstorm around 8pm and it continued on until 10pm,
when we went to bed. I went to bed thinking that this could really be
the night. At 12:40 I woke up to go to the bathroom and was so
disappointed to see that my water had not broken yet. Of course, I
thought I would SEE it and not FEEL it. I have always in visioned how we
would start laboring. It was more like when Lucy told Ricky ?it was
time?. Nice and calm. At 1:48 am I was laying on my left side and so
was Todd, right behind me. The sudden burst of the dam was so
projectile and so alarming that I, uncontrollably screamed out..?MY
WATER BROKE?. It was more of a ?Todd watch out?! Todd?s reaction was
?Are you sure? OH MY GOD!?
Todd
ran and got me towels so I could move to the bathroom. I sat on the
toilette and called my doula. When I called her, she asked if my
contractions had started. I said no, I just had massive pressure in the
rear. Laura told me to go back to bed and rest up. HA. Yeah right. I
got back in to bed and the contractions started quick. Todd started to
time them. I called mom to tell her that the baby was coming and she
should start driving. These contractions were strong but not painful
per say. I just couldn't move when they were happening. Todd called out
3 mins. We timed another one. 3 mins. I started to get nervous
because I knew I was so dilated and that this could be fast. I told
Todd it was time to call the doctor. He said...let?s time another. 2
mins. I called the On Call doctor since mine was on vacation. Todd
timed the next one and asked me if the contraction had ever stopped. I
said no.
When we
called Laura back, Todd asked me if he wanted her to come to the house
to labor for awhile. I thought...awhile???? I groaned from being
uncomfortable and Laura said....it?s time for the hospital! This was the
biggest challenge. I got up to put on clothes. But I needed to pause
every 3 mins to contract. Todd told me to take one thing at a time. I
would call out what I needed. Bra, underwear (no...not the thongs!),
nutrition for the long labor I thought I would have, water, sneakers.
When we got in to the car, I gripped the ?Oh *** bar? and screamed out
?Oh ***? with every bump we hit. We got to the hospital at 3:15 am
and Laura greeted us at the car. She was instantly soothing. Todd
pulled out the endless amount of luggage that I had. Every contraction
required me to stop and rock back and forth while I leaned up against
something. I felt the urgency to rush because I was nervous. Laura
made me relax and breathe through each contraction and take my time.
We had to walk through emergency where they wanted to put me in a
wheel chair. I declined it because I would get an enormous amount of
pressure when I sat. I remember a long hallway that we had to walk
down to get to the elevators for L&D. It smelled like it was just
scrubbed with every chemical under the sun. I joked about having to
stop so often to work through a contraction in such a smelly place.
Laura pointed out that at least it was clean!
Finally
we were in labor and delivery. Fhewwww! They gave me a cup to pee in.
The contractions wouldn?t allow me to pee. I just wanted to poop. I
prayed out loud that I did not poop out the Mexican dinner anytime
soon. It was a continuous nightmare for me to think that I could poop
at anytime. I explained that urine was not happening for me. They were
very nice about that. We met the nurse that was going to help with
the delivery. Her name was Loraine. She explained that someone was
going to check me. Since I wasn?t in terrible pain I figured that I
was MAYBE 6 cm dilated and that it was going to be a long delivery.
Everyone was in shock when they said I was fully dilated and ready to
go. WHUTTTTT!!!! I then joked to everyone, ?well I guess I can?t get
an epidoral now.? Everyone just laughed. I was so relived that no one
could even dangle the idea of having an epidoral now. And what the
hell? It still didn?t hurt and we were ready to go.
Let
me just say that I know that everyone?s deliveries are different.
Everyone has different needs. I had know idea how labor would feel. I
have always expected the absolute worst. It was severely uncomfortable
for me but everything was happening so fast that I didn?t have time to
think that I was in pain. I was mentally set to hold my baby. That is
all I focused on. In my suitcase of tricks I had my massage oil that
Todd and I use to relax me, a lavendar and chamomile packed sock to
heat up or freeze, a wash cloth from home that had our fabric softener
on it, candle lights, and out playlist of music on the iphone. We
used NONE of these tools, except for the playlist. I have to say, the
playlist that I had composed helped me zone out just like it did when I
ran the marathon. I was slightly embarrassed when everyone in the
room had to listen to Machine Head or Evergreen Terrace. But hey! It
worked. It made us all laugh when people asked if this is what I
really listen to.
Anyway,
when I was checked, we were told that Madison was sunny side up. Not
breech, just facing the wrong direction. I have read so many birth
stories to know that this labor was not going to be easy. In fact I was
mentally trying to tell myself that a section might be needed. This
didn?t scare Laura or Loraine. Laura pulled out her bag of trick and
told me to get on all fours. Our goal was to get the baby to turn. I was
all for it. Let me tell you I will never be shy about anything again.
There I was on the bed and on all fours in a hospital gown. My bare
ass was in the air with Laura and Lorraine at the back squeezing my
hips. I shouted out, ?please remember that I had mexican and I am so
sorry in advance!?. The discomfort really came in at this point. My
back was so sore with each contraction. I felt like I was dead lifting
180 pounds. Laura put the birthing ball under my face so I wouldn't
tire out my arms. AMAZING. Todd stood at the head holding my hands. I
would squeeze his fingers as hard as I can with each contraction. He
didn?t complain....too much. It was enough to make me laugh though.
Squeezing his hands while the ladies squeezed my hips with force felt
amazing. It was almost rhythmic. Laura also used this tennis ball like
massager on my back and it felt great. Todd fed me ice chips and
fanned me off while he encouraged me to work through it.
After
a while Laura suggested we try squatting. I was too scared to move
off the table thinking that nothing else could feel as good as the
position I was already in. So I did. I used the bed for leverage and
had one foot on a stool. Lorraine had to put tons of pee pads in
between my feet because so much water was still flowing out. I couldn't
help but to think how gross everything was. Yick. But who cares?? It
felt awesome. It was at that point I felt the cramps from my back
move to my abdomen. SHE TURNED! WE DID IT! GAME ON!!!! Lorraine
actually had a lamp under me while I was squatting because the head
was coming out.
They
got me back on the table and contractions were like a perfectly timed
song. And I could feel that my body would push this kid out without my
help. I was in awe. And some pain. I had Todd skip songs and we all
died laughing when Tenacious D?s The Metal came on. Even the on call
doctor who was dryer than toast laughed. ok...scratch that...she
smiled. Everyone started ?getting ready?. Tools came out, scrubs went
on and we were ready to go. The head was popping in and out and
Lorraine asked if I wanted to touch it. I declined. She asked if I
wanted a mirror. I said YEAH! She brought over this huge mirror and
there it was....not the baby. A horrible site of unkempt hedges that I
have been able to take care of since I was too big to get near that
area. It was as far from a Brazilian wax as one could get. I told them
to get rid of the mirror. Dear Lord!!!! I was so happy Todd was up at
my head so he didn?t have to see such an ungodly sight. He?ll never
want to go back again!
So
pushing was a bit tough. I was scared to push too hard. I had to tell
myself to trust my body. I could only imagine what kind of recovery I
was going to have if I pushed too hard. After awhile, I dropped it.
Who cares? It?s was coming out whether I could control the pushing or
not. Pushing would only get her in to my arms faster. I held my knees
to my chest with my elbows out. Laura and Lorraine supported each leg.
The contractions were long and I had to hold a push for 10 long
seconds, take a quick breath and repeat two times. The first two were
always really strong and the third was just exhausting. Even if I
didn?t want to push hard my body was doing it on it?s own. Todds part
was crucial to my delivery. More so than he knew. Once in awhile Todd
would say ?Dina push? or ?your almost there, push?. I knew he could
see what was going on so when HE would say something he would mean it.
I didn?t scream, I grunted through the tough parts. I refused an
episiotomy from the beginning so the resident started the perineum
massage with mineral oil. I couldn't even think of how uncomfortable
that was but I knew we were even closer now. The actual doctors job
was to put the towel on my chest for when Maddy comes out. I knew we
were even closer at that point.
The
hard part! The resident or someone warned me that the next few pushes
are going to hurt but to just push. Oh God..the ring of fire was
coming. Sure enough I pushed with a big groan and literally saw a red
burst of light with stars in my mind. I had never felt pain like that
in my life. But it was very short lived and I knew the head was out!
Get the rest out...that?s all I thought. GET IT OUT. I was told to stop
pushing but F that...really. Work faster is what I thought. At that
point I was told to reach down and I knew what that meant. I grabbed
Madison by the armpits and pulled her to my chest. It was like a flood
just came out but I couldn't think of anything. My baby was finally in
my arms and bursting with noise! The song that was on was the Weight
by Thrice. There couldn't have been a better song.
I
couldn?t believe how beautiful she was with all that vernix on her.
Her coloring was perfect. It was over. I felt no pain at that point.
Todd and I cried and couldn't have been happier. I started to nurse and
she latched on right away. Now that was uncomfortable. It was like a
vacuum! As I nursed, the doctor started to stitch me up.
Wow...uncomfortable again. I was relieved though because I figured
since she was stitching me up, the placenta must have come out already.
Wrong! The placenta was stubborn. They put me on pitosin to get me
contracting faster, but it wouldn't move. They started massaging my
very sore belly while the doctor tried to tug. I was beside myself. I
had to give the baby up because I couldn?t hold her anymore. It felt
like forever to get that bag out. I watched Todd stand next to the
nurse while she evaluated Madison. I wanted to cry in pain at that
point. Finally it was all over and my baby was returned to me. Bundled
up like a little burrito with a cap.
To
me...my delivery was perfect. It went better than I had ever
expected. It was an ultimate test of what my body was capable of and
it worked perfectly. I am forever grateful to the wonderful support
team that I had. Without them, I could have easily given up. They kept
me mentally stable and calm through the entire birth. It was a
wonderful experience with the most amazing prize in the end.
Thanks for reading my very long story. 
Re: My Natural Birth
oops...here's the picture.
I'll love you forever,
I'll like you for always,
As long as I'm living my baby you'll be.
- Robert Munsch