Moms of 2 kids close in age... help please!?!? — The Bump
School-Aged Children

Moms of 2 kids close in age... help please!?!?

I knew this was coming but I would love some coaching on how to handle it.

We're getting class invitations to birthday parties.

The boys are very close and to date have only gone to birthday parties of friends who of course always invite both kids regardless of the age of the child whose party it is.

 

What do you say to your younger one to explain that from here on out they don't get to go every where their older sibling does?

He understands that he gets to start school next year when he's 3 and that pre-school is only for kids who are 3.  

But... a party's different.

I'm thinking of telling him that we'll go do something special during that time with just the 2 of us but frankly I'm concerned that the older one will then want to come with us instead of going to the party and I'd like him to go.

 

Advice from any "been there, done that" parents for someone still wet behind the ears?

TIA

 

Our IF journey: 1 m/c, 1 IVF with only 3 eggs retrieved yielding Dylan and a lost twin, 1 shocker unmedicated BFP resulting in Jace, 3 more unmedicated pregnancies ending in more losses.
Total score: 6 pregnancies, 5 losses, 2 amazing blessings that I'm thankful for every single day.

Re: Moms of 2 kids close in age... help please!?!?

  • Fortunately for us, it started to happen to both around the same time. They were each upset the first time it happened and then got over it.  We did use that time for the other parent to take the other child to do something one on one, so that helped.  We just explained it to them and they understood, sometimes one goes to a party and the other doesn't and the another time it's the reverse.
    DS1 age 7, DD age 5 and DS2 born 4/3/12
  • imagehowleyshell:

    I'm thinking of telling him that we'll go do something special during that time with just the 2 of us but frankly I'm concerned that the older one will then want to come with us instead of going to the party and I'd like him to go.

     


    I'd do this, but keep your "special plans" on the down-low from the older one.  Just don't make a big deal out of either the birthday party or the special plans for the other kid.  If either kid starts to freak out, remind them that there will be other times when the situation is reversed and that everyone will get a turn to be a party guest AND to have a special time with Mom, so not to worry.


    High School English teacher and mom of 2 kids:

    DD, born 9/06/00 -- 12th grade
    DS, born 8/25/04 -- 7th grade
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  • I am going through it now but actually my older DD (PreK) is the one that is getting upset that she is going to the party and not bringing her little sister with her.  WE have explained to her that her new school friends don't know her sister and that it is OK and that we will make sure her sister is OK when she goes to the party.  2 of the parties have been over nap time so that has helped but the next one is in the late afternoon and I know it might be more of an issue.  I am going to the party with her and my DH will do something fun with our LO.  If my LO gets upset, we will try adn explain the same thing to her, that her sisters friends don't know her and that the parties are for the kids in the class only.  My girls are very, very close the biggest adjustment for both of them this year has been not being in the same school - they often tell me they miss the other.  We try and give them tons of time to be together and to do special family things with just the 4 of us to balance the time away from each other (which I think is really the bigger issue since for us, weekends are really family time).
    Jenni Mom to DD#1 - 6-16-06 DD#2 - 3-13-08 
  • I think my oldest was more upset when DS was invited to a party that she wasn't invited too.   Mine are 2 years apart and have both been in daycare since they were infants.  Both have been invited to parties by classmates. DS just accepted, no questions asked that DD was going to a party with her school friends.  However when DS got invited to a CEC party and she didn't get to go, the world ended....It was harder for us, the other way around...

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
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