I don't think it's fair...

EcoBaby

that I have been dedicated so much of the last two years of my life to breastfeeding - pumping at work, sometimes up 12 times a night, nursing on demand, etc - and then BAM - I have to be the bad guy for taking it away when we wean. I wish Gavin would just say, "You know, mom, I understand why you want to wean. I'll be okay." It's like I had to work my ass off, but I'm still the bad guy in the end. I feel like a Mama cat hissing at her kittens when they try to nurse. lol I always thought they were so mean!

Harper'smom

Agreed. Have you started the process? The mythical self weaning child does not live in our house so at some point I will have to iniate the official weaning process for various reasons.

anna7602

I'm so sorry. I went through he** too, when I weaned DD at 25 months. Somewhere I read that goats kick their young when they don't want them to nurse anymore. I felt like I may as well have been doing that.

The good news is that we pulled off weaning somehow and still have a fantastic, close relationship. Even better, DD can see other babies and toddlers nursing now and simply light up at recognition of the act, but not ask me to nurse. We have a really sweet book called Mama's Milk that she likes to read now. I was so afraid I'd never be able to discuss nursing with her again or that she would remember the trauma of weaning, but she seems to only remember how awesome it was to nurse.

Harper'smom

anna7602:

Somewhere I read that goats kick their young when they don't want them to nurse anymore.

OUCH! Yikes that imagery make me hurt.

lolagrinnin

anna7602:

I'm so sorry. I went through he** too, when I weaned DD at 25 months. Somewhere I read that goats kick their young when they don't want them to nurse anymore. I felt like I may as well have been doing that.

The good news is that we pulled off weaning somehow and still have a fantastic, close relationship. Even better, DD can see other babies and toddlers nursing now and simply light up at recognition of the act, but not ask me to nurse. We have a really sweet book called Mama's Milk that she likes to read now. I was so afraid I'd never be able to discuss nursing with her again or that she would remember the trauma of weaning, but she seems to only remember how awesome it was to nurse.

That is one of the sweetest things I've ever read. Makes me want to nurse until long after most of the people in my life think is appropriate.

jescgrl

lolagrinnin:

anna7602:

I'm so sorry. I went through he** too, when I weaned DD at 25 months. Somewhere I read that goats kick their young when they don't want them to nurse anymore. I felt like I may as well have been doing that.

The good news is that we pulled off weaning somehow and still have a fantastic, close relationship. Even better, DD can see other babies and toddlers nursing now and simply light up at recognition of the act, but not ask me to nurse. We have a really sweet book called Mama's Milk that she likes to read now. I was so afraid I'd never be able to discuss nursing with her again or that she would remember the trauma of weaning, but she seems to only remember how awesome it was to nurse.

That is one of the sweetest things I've ever read. Makes me want to nurse until long after most of the people in my life think is appropriate.

ditto 

e_b_r

anna7602:

I'm so sorry. I went through he** too, when I weaned DD at 25 months. Somewhere I read that goats kick their young when they don't want them to nurse anymore. I felt like I may as well have been doing that.

The good news is that we pulled off weaning somehow and still have a fantastic, close relationship. Even better, DD can see other babies and toddlers nursing now and simply light up at recognition of the act, but not ask me to nurse. We have a really sweet book called Mama's Milk that she likes to read now. I was so afraid I'd never be able to discuss nursing with her again or that she would remember the trauma of weaning, but she seems to only remember how awesome it was to nurse.

thanks for posting this! i find it hugely reassuring for when our time comes.

rachelcmorgan84

I don't have advice because my son is only 4.5 months old. BUT I just wanted to hopefully reassure you that your relationship won't be damaged :-)

My mom let my older brother self-wean and he did so by 15 months. He had no interest in being like his baby sister who was just born (me!!). She liked self-weaning with him so much that she planned to do the same. Until my 4th bday when I was STILL bfing at night and the morning. So! (I remember when it happened) She told me that her milk was gone one day and that I couldn't nurse anymore. I cried, she rejoiced. But, at the end of the day, I've always been super close with my mom!!

EcoBaby

Harper'smom:

Agreed. Have you started the process? The mythical self weaning child does not live in our house so at some point I will have to iniate the official weaning process for various reasons.

I wouldn't necessarily say I've started the process other than I will occassionally distract him when he says he wants milk (this really doesn't work) and I try not to offer it to him, but I will still say things like, "Do you want to drink milk and go to sleep?" So I guess I am offering it to him. I plan to be much more proactive when he turns 2, which is pretty soon. And yeah, my kid isn't going to self wean until he's like 5, but I am not going to hold out that long.

EcoBaby

rachelcmorgan84:

I cried, she rejoiced. But, at the end of the day, I've always been super close with my mom!!

LOL. That is awesome that you remember - there aren't too many people around who remember. Its almost like a rite of passage. I remember when my mom gave my passifier to Santa's reindeer, but that's not quite the same

EcoBaby

anna7602:

I'm so sorry. I went through he** too, when I weaned DD at 25 months. Somewhere I read that goats kick their young when they don't want them to nurse anymore. I felt like I may as well have been doing that.

The good news is that we pulled off weaning somehow and still have a fantastic, close relationship. Even better, DD can see other babies and toddlers nursing now and simply light up at recognition of the act, but not ask me to nurse. We have a really sweet book called Mama's Milk that she likes to read now. I was so afraid I'd never be able to discuss nursing with her again or that she would remember the trauma of weaning, but she seems to only remember how awesome it was to nurse.

Thank you! I remember when you posted on here about hormones and how emotional it was to wean. I'm glad your LO has such positive associations. Hopefully DS will be the same way.

christina627

I totally hear you even though you've done it longer.  DH wants me to wean, partly bc he wants DS to go to sleep without nursing (I work a couple nights a week and sometimes DS will cry a LOT just bc he wants mommy and milk.)  And partly bc DH wants the girls to himself and wants back in our bed and DS in his own bed.  I get it, I'm ready for those things too, but DS doesn't STTN and we all get sleep bc of nursing.  DH wants DS weaned but if DS fusses too much for it, "he's like just nurse him" instead of trying to give him a cup of milk or something else to eat.  Plus I'm a little jealous of DH, DS will go and cuddle up to him just to cuddle, with me it's always to nurse...he will even nurse and then get up and go cuddle with DH!